It is easy to find meaning and purpose in your life when your circumstances are going well. However, if your level of meaning and purpose is based solely on external circumstances and measures of success, then any meaning or purpose you create becomes very fragile and based on something outside of your control. For example, some people create meaning and purpose in their life based solely on their career or their relationships. There is nothing wrong with finding meaning and purpose in life in your career or relationships, but when those become the only source of meaning and purpose in your life, then any meaning or purpose you create is based on something outside of your control such as whether your boss, clients, co-workers, or romantic partner is happy with you. When your boss, clients, or romantic partner is happy with you, then you have meaning and purpose, but if you get fired or business goes slow or you hit a rough patch in a relationship, then any happiness or fulfillment you create in life becomes fragile and contingent on others.

The alternative is to create a more integrated and comprehensive sense of purpose in life that is based on something you have more control over, which is living your values or focusing on who you are being. As far as values goes, I am simply referring to some trait or characteristic that is important for to you. For some people that may be adventure, sense of humor, fun, kindness, growth, integrity, or spirituality. What matters is that these values are important to you and give you meaning and purpose in life. One way to identify your values is to simply complete the following phrase:

“Who I am is the possibility of being (write whatever value is important to you)”

Then, you can take actions that are consistent with those values. This is really powerful because regardless of your circumstances, you can wake up every day and choose what value is important to you and then take actions that are consistent with those values. You may not have the power every day to choose your relationship status or financial wealth. But, you can choose who you are being and what values you want to act on.

Also, living our values gives us meaning and direction in life because we can never completely accomplish or complete a value, unlike an external goal which can be accomplished. For example, if honesty is a value of yours, then you can never say to yourself, “well, I have been honest now for 30 days, so I am done being honest.” Rather values are something we strive for continuously and give us direction in life. Similarly, if we do not live up to our values on a particular day, then we can wake up the next day and try to live our values to your best that day. That is why values help give us direction and purpose regardless of our circumstances.

One exercise is especially helpful when circumstances, relationships, or work is not going well. For me, this helped during a time when I was unemployed and trying to figure out what sort of career I wanted in life. I knew I was not happy as a lawyer, but there was a time when I did not know what sort of career I wanted. So, I woke up each day as literally said”

“Who I am is the possibility of being…..” and said whatever values came to mind. For me, the two values that came up over and over for me were inspiration and authenticity. So, I looked for ways to be inspiration and be authenticity regardless of my circumstances. Fortunately, over time, I eventually took enough actions based on these values that I have been able to create a career that is consistent with these values as a psychologist. One of the greatest joys I have as a psychologist is inspiring people to be there most authentic self.

What are your values? Take some time to consider that and write them down each day. Then, on a daily basis, try to take one action that is consistent with that value and you will be able to create meaning and purpose in your life regardless of your circumstances. If you are having difficulty identifying your values, then a therapist may be able to help you. For help finding a therapist please click here.

There are some who have the paths that they love and want to pursue. They dedicate every single hour of their day into mastering the craft so that they can achieve a sense of fulfilment and pride. But there are some people who just haven’t found that drive or passion yet and are floundering in the wind, waiting for something to come along.

There are also those who once had passions and have since lost them. Life can be hard sometimes, so much so that it wears them down to the point of breaking. Stress, overworking, and dealing with every hurdle that crosses your path can make it difficult to find the joy you once had. Feeling lost and unmotivated is normal, but it doesn’t have to be that way for the rest of your life. So what can you do to rekindle that passion?

Taking Time Off

The best way to start rekindling your passion is to get away from it all. Whatever environment you’re currently in is obviously uninspiring and sapping all your energy away. Find time, whether it’s just a day or a whole week, to get away from it all and go somewhere else. The longer time spent away, the better.

Choose a destination that isn’t close to home. Aim for somewhere that’s at least an hour drive away. That could put you just about anywhere, and it’s likely to be unfamiliar territory. Or if you plan to stay for a long period of time, go on a vacation, either to another state or another country.

The reason this works is that it gives your brain a jumpstart in a new environment. Without familiar territory around you, you’ll soon find clarity so that you can start the search for a new path to travel on.

Allow Your Inner Child Out

All children learn through play, and there’s no reason you can’t adopt the same logic. Letting your mind wander to the things you used to find fun as a child is a great way to remember what inspired you in the first place. So let your inner child out once in a while.

Write down a few things that you used to love doing as a child. Drawing on the sidewalk with chalk? Helping animals? Skateboarding at the park? Write down every single thing you can remember that you felt you had a real passion for. Not only does this give you a list to start with, but you’ll also brighten your mood by thinking about the good times you used to have.

Then take the time to examine how you feel about each of these activities in turn. Is there anything that jumps out at you that you haven’t tried in years? Was there an exercise you always wanted to do but never had the opportunity to try? Write down those exercises as well so that you have a list of considerations to work with.

List What You Hate Doing

Make a list of the jobs or activities you absolutely hate. Then list the reasons why you hate them. By getting those out of the way, you can start thinking about the things you do love to do. Do they have any common factors that make them attractive activities? Perhaps you should examine how they make you feel and why you like them so much. Do they exercise your creativity or do they connect you to other people?

If you have a hard time starting, think about people you’re jealous of and what they’re doing with their lives. What aspects of their lives are you jealous of? What did they accomplish to get to their current point in life? What kind of work do they do? You might be able to find a passion from this list.

Getting in Touch with your Emotions

With your mind clear, it’s time for some self-examination. Look deep within yourself to pinpoint the reasons why you’re no longer having the passion you used to. Ask yourself questions about what you’re feeling and why you’re feeling that way. Is it because of regret? Do you feel like you’ve made mistakes in your life choices? Is there something going on in your life that currently excites you?

Write down everything you’re feeling for a few minutes, and then try to do this at least once each day for about two weeks. You’ll start to notice the patterns of your emotions and can provide you with the right path towards dealing with them. This process is designed to help you deal with your raw emotions in their purest state, rather than muddling them up with external sources such as societal expectations.

Experiment

Looking at the list you’ve created, what’s one of them that you really want to try? There should be no holds barred during this process, since you really have nothing to lose. You may not find you’re calling on the first try, but you’ll definitely find something eventually that speaks to you. The point is that you don’t give up trying. Experiment with different activities and see how they make you feel.

Remember to stay connected with your emotions during this process so that you can tell whether they’re authentic or not. Do some research to see how you can make this activity fit in with the rest of your life.

Look for Things You’re Mediocre At

Not everyone is going to be perfect at everything they do, so it doesn’t hurt to look at some activities you’re just okay at. And sometimes, just being okay is enough. Look at skills you’re average in and try to combine them together. Perhaps, in this way, you can find something you’re really passionate about.

For example, you’re so-so at painting and you think you have a decent sense of humor. Perhaps you can put the two together to create funny paintings or draw cartoon strips. Those two skills alone make you stand out from the rest of the crowd, even just a little bit.

And this could be enough. The most successful people in the world aren’t just very good at one specific thing. They have a range of talents that they can utilize to get the job done. Being good enough at a range of talents is a much better selling point than being a perfectionist in one.

Don’t Assume Passion = Job

Don’t hyperfocus on looking for an activity that will earn you money. It may seem like a very important aspect of finding your passion, but it’s actually not. Turning an activity into a source of income should actually be a secondary aspect of finding your passion; the first should be finding something that makes you happy. Don’t set yourself up to become perfect at it either; it could be something you enjoy doing that you’re not even really good at. As long as it’s an activity you can’t imagine yourself not doing, then it’s an important aspect of your life and you should foster the joy you have for it.

Don’t be Afraid to Ask For Advice

A miracle answer isn’t going to fall into your lap overnight. It’s going to take a lot of soul-searching before you find what you’re really passionate about. And if you’re stumped, confide in your close friends and family as to what you should do. But only go to them if you can trust them, of course. Don’t be surprised that they tell you what to do instead of offering advice, thinking that that will fix the problem.

If you’re really at your rope’s end, find a church and confide in a minister or a neutral third party who can offer you an objective opinion. Asking for help is much better than struggling on your own to find an answer.

Create Something New

One of the secrets to finding your passion is to create something new from scratch. Coming up with an idea in and of itself is hard, but the fancy may strike you soon enough. People who start their own projects from scratch tend to be more passionate about them, wanting to see them through until the end.

And if the project becomes successful along the way, great! That means people care about what you’re creating. But if it doesn’t garner much attention, there’s no reason you should stop if you enjoy doing it.

Finding your passion again is going to take some time and a lot of patience. You may get stuck sometimes on trying to figure out what you enjoy doing, so it’s important that you keep friends close by so you can talk to them when you need them.

Keep your mind open to the possibilities that you may not find exactly what you’re looking for. Although that may feel like a curse, it can actually be a blessing in disguise. Expect the unexpected, and don’t be afraid to get your feet wet by trying something you’ve never done before.