Nancy Pressly Atlanta Portrait Photography

1. What is UNLOCKING: A MEMOIR OF FAMILY AND ART about and why did you write it?

Unlocking is not your typical memoir in that it looks at my life’s journey so far. It interweaves personal and professional stories, beginning with my childhood in a small rural town north of New York City as I slowly unravel family dynamics that had so long been obliterated from my memory. The memoir captures my life in the New York art world of the late 1960’s when I came into my own as a person and met my husband, a fellow graduate student, and we began our journey together as art historians. Throughout I discuss the importance of art and travel and how I look at and respond to art. Major themes include how I assumed the role of caretaker for my family, beginning with my husband’s near fatal illness early in our marriage; the challenges of being a working mother;  and how I finally overcame doubts concerning my professional worth and being comfortable with my more assertive side which I kept partially repressed, allowing me to embrace a national leadership role in the museum world. It is also a story of resilience, determination, and optimism. Interwoven throughout is the importance of family bonds. The memoir is an intensely personal and honest account, notable for its candor, and I hope it leaves the reader with a deep appreciation for the power of empathy and the transformative power of art.

While I was recovering from a near fatal illness, I discovered a treasure trove of family material in our attic including old documents and photographs and letters. Looking at the photographs I was astonished at the power of the image to unlock memories and suddenly felt a profound responsibility to create a narrative of my parents’ and grandparents’ lives. I prepared a chronological outline but did not venture further. Eight years later I was ready to return to unfinished business, and I realized in order to write my family’s story, I would have dig deep into my own past. It slowly dawned on me that I should write a memoir and incorporate my family history into my story. 

2. At the peak of your career as a nationally recognized strategic planning consultant for art museums, you received a  diagnosis of a rare pancreatic-related cancer. What was that like? Did you get angry or bitter? If so, how did you handle that? If not, what helped you during that period of your life? 

It was a difficult experience, and one I devote a chapter to in the book. When I first received my diagnosis, I was in total shock but almost immediately turned to focusing on finding the best surgeon and medical center to have the Whipple procedure, one of the most difficult and complex operations. I knew I was the one who had to make the decisions and be proactive; I did extensive research and within a week was on the operating table. Information empowers me, and I let my medical team know I wanted to be kept informed and they needed to be honest with me. In terms of my career, I told my clients I was seriously ill, and everything had to be on hold until I knew more. I was never bitter, nor did I get angry, although I felt a profound sadness that I might not live to see our first grandchild who was born ten day after the operation. The Whipple is a devasting hit to the body, and physical recovery was slow and the fatigue and weakness at first overwhelming; and I was one of the lucky ones because I didn’t have any complications. Two months after surgery, I began aggressive treatment, a radiation/chemo combo, which was totally debilitating to my already weakened body, followed by two months of chemotherapy. 

What helped me? I was given a fifty-fifty chance, and I remained realistic, stoical, and focused on my recovery. I continued to follow research studies and statistical medical information on this rare cancer. I found what I called a safe place in my house where I could comfort myself  – it was our couch with a blanket, often a snuggling cat, and a view of our backyard. At around ten months I began to spend time in my community garden where I could lose myself in mindfulness for hours. I remained a strong fighter, protected by my “warrior shield” but at eighteen months, as I got better, I let down my protective shield. Suddenly, I became fragile and lost my traction; I realized the degree to which the experience of cancer had destabilized me; had stripped me to my core. I was not prepared for the darkness and depth of depression that followed. I needed to get help. Friends and my family were supportive and kind but living through cancer is a lonely journey and at the end I was simply a different person, not better or worse, but different. I also retired.

3. What role did family dynamics play in your journey and how do you examine that in your book?

I am an introspective person, I think in a good way, and acutely aware of the subtleties of family dynamics and how they profoundly affect us at every phase in our lives. In the first section of the book, I slowly find a path back to my childhood that had been for the most part lost from conscious memory. As a teenager, my father, a loving and decent man, dealt with my first love in a terrible and traumatic way that profoundly affected me and left a deep fracture between us which took years to rebuild. But the episode literally caused a kind of amnesia. After college, I left behind the small town where I grew up and memories of the town, my friends, and my life there faded away. In Unlocking I journeyed back in time and carefully examined family dynamics, understanding them for the first time. I let old photographs help unlock memories.  I also explore, I think with candor and sensitivity, family dynamics in our marriage and in the process understood better some of the decisions I made along the way.

4. Your book talks about your love of family. How did that show up in your life and what advice would you have for people who have poor relationships with their family members?

I was a loving and supportive daughter to my mother after she was widowed at age fifty-eight, and she was an incredibly supportive of me and my husband and son. Love of family is about giving and caring and being there for close family members. It is a profound bond. When my brother died unexpectedly and tragically at age fifty-three, he was separated from his wife and their children chose to live with him. They were devasted when he died, and the youngest would come down every few weeks to spend a weekend with me. I never faltered and was always there for him. I have been the caregiver in my family, since my husband had his first opened-heart surgery at age thirty -one – he has had his aorta valve replaced four times. Our roles changed dramatically out of necessity. Family extended to my in-laws, and my father-in-law and I were especially close. I was his daughter. Everyone seemed to know that I would be there, fix it; organize it; and make it all good again. Whatever that is, it is who I am. When my son separated from his wife, who was an alcoholic, and had primary custody, I dropped everything I was doing and came down to help, living above his garage for two years and commuting back and forth from Washington, where we lived, to Atlanta. We moved down permanently a few years later. Friends asked how we could do this, and my response was how could we not; my son worried about what I had to give up and felt guilty and I told him not to; this was where I belonged and it was probably the most important thing I had done in my life. 

In terms of what I would tell other people who may have poor relationships with their family, I loathe to generalize; situations are so different. But my advice would be simply life is short and forgiveness is not so hard if one can find a kernel of goodness and remember it. Also exercise empathy; try to understand why things may have gone so bad or wrong. There is something very powerful about the family bond and unconditional love. We should try to do everything we can to honor it. But that said, taking care of yourself and protecting yourself is also important.

5. You also explore the challenges of being a working mother? What was that like and how did you balance the demands of your work and the demands of being a mother?

I went back to work full time when our son was seven. We moved to a new city – from New Haven to San Antonio –  so I was experiencing a cultural shock as well as a dramatic change in my life without the backup support of family and friends. It was painful; I missed  not picking my son up at school and making him afternoon snacks, and I was not ready to go back to work full time. At the time I was pretty much the sole bread winner  – my husband was in-between positions and he taught one course a semester in Austin. Although he helped with David, it was the 1980s, and I was pretty much responsible for the more traditional domestic tasks from cooking dinner to washing clothes. My mother came for periods of time and helped. I couldn’t have managed without her; day care options didn’t exist. I remained conflicted and even today regret things I missed doing with my son and not being there. At the time I had no choice, we needed my salary. For me it was not just balancing the demands of my work and of being a mother and wife; I also enjoyed domesticity in terms of cooking and gardening and making a house, a home, so I was balancing that as well. Yes, it was exhausting, and yes, I cooked wonderful meals almost every night.

6. What advice would you give to mothers and fathers about how to balance family and parenting obligations with work obligations while still taking care of themselves and not feeling overwhelmed? 

I think you probably answered that yourself. Take care of yourselves; “me” time is essential. I like that you say mothers and fathers because that is today’s world where parenting is shared so much more, and gender roles are so much more fluid. That was not the world I worked and mothered in. My advice is as follows:  At every stage of our lives we have to make choices so that balance tilts in one direction or another. I think the huge issue (and mistake) that my generation struggled with and it seems women continue to struggle with, is trying to have it all and thinking if we do it the right way and society is flexible, we can have it all.  I believe we can have it all; BUT THE MISTAKE is thinking you can have it all at the same. You can’t. This is where choices and shifting balances come into play.

7. Did serendipity or synchronicity ever play a role in your life? If so, how

I think the answer is probably no. Things seem to happen because we make choices along the way. I like quiet places – if there are two sites that offer the experience of seeing Neolithic burial cairns, I am going to go to the one off the tourist track where there will be fewer people and no tour guides. I feel I can experience the site more authentically that way. And, yes, I will be more likely to absorb the ritual setting and also meditate on man’s quest for meaning. 

1. What is This One is Special about and why did you write it?

This One is Special is about my experience of becoming a mother of a child with profound disabilities. I asked the question: when your child has a condition that can’t be cured, where do you go for answers? The book is about the powerful spiritual lessons I learned along the way. It’s about learning to trust in intuition when your child’s life and wellbeing depends on coming up with the best solutions. Highly personal as my story is, I believe there are insights there for everyone. The more honest and personal I could be in telling my story, the more universal my message has turned out to be.

2. What advice would you give to potential parents who are worried their child may have some sort of disease or illness that requires special attention and added time and money?

Suspecting that your child may turn out to have special needs can undoubtedly be alarming. However, I would suggest that you base all your decisions on love rather than fear. Develop a toolbox of coping strategies. Know that there are good, positive, empowering parents support groups out there that can help you with information and not feeling alone. Grants may be available if needed. Dare to accept that you are your child’s best expert. If your child does turn out to have extra needs, understand that your child will still be normal – diversity is part of the human condition. And above all trust in the beneficial power of the universe. However you wish to express this, cultivate a sense that you and your child are in essential ways looked after. And make a point of trying always to accept help when it is offered!

3. How did you balance the demands of being a parent with your own self-care?

The balance is not easy. But over the years I have learned to listen to my internal wellbeing monitor. That means recognising my need to work, to rest and to play. For me it starts in the morning with a short sequence of stretches, affirmations and meditation – a way of tuning into the energies of the day. I have discovered that if I can cultivate a deep and authentic sense of calm while honoring my own passions for life, the whole household benefits.

4. In your book, you talk about learning to trust our instincts through or dreams and intuition. What advice would you give to someone who is questioning their intuition because it has led them to past failure, struggles, or is currently leading them to a decision that seems foolish or irrational?

For me, intuition works by noticing what you notice. What is coming forward for your attention? You can hone this ability by keeping a dream diary in which you record your sleeping dreams and waking visions. If you are not sure whether to trust a particular intuition, ask yourself how it makes you feel. If it contains a downward, dragging, fearful energy, that’s not intuition, it’s fear. If there is a sense of love and reassurance, you can trust in your inner hunches.

5. Have you experienced any serendipity or synchronicity as a result of following your intuition? If so what?

This has happened to me many times! One example was when I felt it was time to stop being a governor at my son’s special school – a post I had held for ten years. The week after I left I was offered a trusteeship at The Healing Trust, the UK’s biggest healer-training charity. I would not have had time for that new role, if my intuition had not stepped in first.

6. What is your experience with holistic health and how can we balance holistic health with the traditional medicine that uses a more traditional or scientific approach?

When my son was little he was highly vulnerable and I was nervous about holistic options in health care. But I followed recommendations from sources I trusted and now I wouldn’t function without looking at the whole picture, which includes complementary approaches. At the most basic level, pain and stress levels can be lessened with a few drops of lavender essential oil by the sick bed. Energy healing can help symptoms. It’s about balance – we need both conventional medicine and holistic strategies. Only then can we flourish.

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For more information about the author, please visit her website at:   suzanneaskham.com

• What is your book about and why did you write it?

In 2014, I was trying to be an American Supermom, and failing. From the outside we looked like a perfect family, but on the inside I struggled with anger, resentment, and dissatisfaction. I was a midwife, providing home birth care for women in our community, and on top of that I was trying to “ do it all” – keep a beautiful house, cook organic healthy meals, have my kids in enrichment activities, keep a marriage going, and I was overwhelmed by handling all the details. I would look at myself in the mirror, dark circles under my eyes, and wonder, “Is this it? Is this what I can expect for the next decade of my life? Is this the only way to do family?”

I got this crazy idea – to pull the kids out of school, rent out the house, and take the family on an eight month pilgrimage through India and Nepal. The good news was that my husband had spent a year in India in his twenties, and was open to my wild scheme. In the places where the Buddha lived, in the Himalayan village H.H. the Dalai Lama calls home, in the ashram of Amma the Divine Mother, we would get insights into the true nature of reality, and get perspective on the purpose of this beautiful, precious life we have been given, which I felt I was wasting by running like a hamster on a wheel.

So we did it – we took our remarkable voyage. With backpacks on our shoulders, we criss-crossed India by train, bus, and rickshaw. We trekked in the Himalayas, walked along the Ganges in Varanasi, and lived in the jungles of Kerala. Our daughters Bella and Sophia, then ten and fourteen, were intrepid travel companions, and brought such a richness to our travels, because people love children where ever you go. Of course the journey transformed us in ways we never expected.

Then we returned home and I was faced with life returning to “normal”. When people asked “How was India”, I couldn’t possibly explain – so I started to write this book to answer that question.

“We write to taste life twice – in the the moment and in retrospect”, Anais Nin wrote.  I found that writing The Budhha Sat Right Here deepened my understanding of what happened on our whirlwind adventure, and the writing became a journey of its own.

2. What inspired your family trip to India and why did you choose to visit India?

I have felt a deep spiritual connection to India since I was twenty, and it had always been my dream to go there. As a young woman,  yoga saved my body, and then Buddhism saved my mind. The Buddha was born in what is now Nepal, but he lived, and awakened to Buddhahood, and taught, in India.

I met my husband Adam when I found him sitting under a tree, meditating. He had just gotten back from India where he had studied with Tibetan Buddhist masters in rather extraordinary circumstances. Watching him meditate, my first thought was “Whatever he is doing, I should be doing that too.” I sat down beside him and our amazing partnership began.

Our plan was always to go to India together, but babies, house, and businesses followed one after the other. We put off our India travel dreams. Then a remarkable thing happened – my sister, a foreign correspondent living in New Delhi, gave birth to her daughter there and I went to visit her. When I returned, all I could think about was going back, for longer, with the family. “India is a fire in my blood”, I would tell people. India is a fire in my blood.The only way to put out that fire was to go back.

3. What was the hardest part of the trip? What was the best?

The hardest part of the trip was definitely managing the family dynamics of the four of us traveling together, sharing one room in a guest house most of the time, and basically doing everything together for eight months. We had an an angsty fourteen year old who had a brilliant knack for finding and analayzing the flaws of everyone and everything, a bouncy, imaginative ten year old who loved to give us the slip and get lost, and Adam and I – who loved each other but had fallen into some pretty terrible patterns over the stressful years of parenting, and had relationship issues ready to bubble up. What could possibly go wrong?

The best part of the trip? That one is harder to answer because there are many things. The love of adventure we all share! The togetherness mentioned above was both challenging and extraordinary.  The girls got so close, waking up in one room each day to share our dreams, sitting as a family to feast-like dinners night after night Riding night trains, stacked in our tiny berths, waking up to arrive somewhere new and beautiful. The moments when we met the Dalai Lama, hugged Amma, rode a temple elephant in Bodh Gaya, saw the sunrise in the Annapurna…

Above all, the best part of the trip was being able to focus on my spiritual life, something that always got put on the back burner at home. This was a pilgrimage, and we traveled with the intention to get closer to the heart of what really matters. Ultimately we are made of star stuff and our true nature, with all the illusions torn away, is love and wisdom. We took a break from our ordinary lives because the truth had been covered over by habit patterns of distraction. Travel, getting out of the usual routines, created space for transformation, and like layers of an onion, that which is not true was peeled away.

4. You are Buddhist and considered the trip a pilgrimage of sorts. Will you go to India again? How did this trip deepen your faith?

India deepened my faith in so many ways.  When you spend time in holy places, such as Bodh Gaya were the Buddha sat under the tree, people are there for pilgrimage, like you.  Everyone you meet helps to lift you up. We made friends with monks and yogis of many stripes and lineages, and their friendships with us filled our days with teachings and inspiration. In these holy places, no one is gossiping our talking about their latest shopping spree – the collective reverence and devotion elevates us all.

Then, we had the good fortune of attending teachings with great masters in India, such as the Tibetan Karmapa, the Dalai Lama, and Amma the Hugging Saint. We also received teachings from lesser-known masters whom we met along our journey. In Dharmasala, the Himalayan town where the Dalai Lama lives in exile, we attended a month- long seminar with a Buddhist teacher named Chamtrul Rinpoche.  Spending this much time studying esoteric Tibetan tantras was a precious gift, right in the middle of raising children.  After class I would go sit meditation in the Dalai Lama’s temple. I touched a deeper, truer part of myself than I had felt for years. Our six weeks in Dharamsala were transformative for our whole family. I felt that the monkeys in the trees showed me where I was coming from, and the monks showed me where I wanted to go.

And the rugged conditions of travel in India – the crowded, chaotic train stations, and long bus rides in hot, packed, buses  – afforded us the perfect opportunity to put the teachings into practice.

5. Did this trip change how you parent? Were those changes applied to daily life when you returned to the United States?

I would say that the trip helped me be more peaceful, open, present, content. These are the qualities one gains by spending time in the sacred places of India, in the company of the wise. Less driven by “shoulds” and worries from external pressures, I have been able to parent in a way that is more balanced, flexible, and respectful of my kids’ genuine needs as well as my own.

6. What were some of the challenges of traveling with kids? Some of the joys?

Traveling with kids is the best. First of all, people were so friendly to us everywhere we went, and I am sure our darling children had a lot to do with it. People love children the world over, and in India they were amazed to meet American children. There are NOT many American children traveling around India. We were sort of an oddity, and given warm welcomes and open doors again and again. We would also get thronged by children wanting to meet and shake hands with our daughters, and people wanted to take pictures of us all the time, too. “One snap, please, one snap?” They would say, aiming their cellphones at us. I felt it was a fair trade, since we were taking pictures of them and their country, too. Our kids are intrepid travelers. They grew up camping, and going to places like Rainbow Gatherings and even Burning Man with us, so they knew that magical places and challenging living conditions often go hand in hand. They were up for the adventure. I loved having this time with them, spending quality time with them instead of just driving them here and there, and nagging them about homework and bedtime.

The biggest challenge was when little Sophia got dysentery in Kerala.  Another time, we all caught a flu in rapid succession, in a po-dunk town we found rather ghastly, in Rajasthan. We couldn’t leave, because as soon as one of us got better, someone else came down with it, and became too sick to travel. So we were quite stuck. That episode didn’t make it into the book – consider it bonus material. Dealing with sick kids is no fun at home or while traveling.

7. Do you have any tips for parents wanting to travel to India with their own children?

YES. Do your homework and learn about the seasons in India. India has three main season, the dry, the hot, and the wet (monsoon). Plan your itinerary around the ideal season for each location, and everywhere you go, you will be just in time for the amazing, once-a-year festival or event. This happened to us so often I almost called my book Just in Time!  Also – pack light! Buy Indian clothes to wear when you get there so you fit in, and don’t bring more than you can comfortable carry on your back. Remember, you can buy anything you need, for cheaper and better, as you go. Except toilet paper. Keep a wad of it with you at all times.

8. Anything else?

People want to know it my book is just for Buddhists. My book is for anyone who dreams of travel, for parents who thirst for adventure, and for people who are open to seeking meaning in their lives beyond the acquisition of material things. What I learned about Buddhism is woven through the memoir, but the themes of love, compassion, and peace are universally relevant.

1. What is your book about and why did you write it?

*Enlightened Parenting: A Mom Reflects on Living Spiritually With Kids* is a series of 55 brief essays to help readers who want to make parenting their prime spiritual practice. Sections include attitudes you can shift (embracing faith over fear, being more in the moment when you’re with your child, not guilting them into doing what you want them to), actions you can take (adding a little spiritual celebration to their birthday bash, making sure the art hanging in your home uplifts everyone, enlarging your community beyond your immediate family) and ways parents can nourish themselves when they are so pressed for time. I wrote these essays over a number of years, because I realized right after I had my first child that when you’re a parent, you don’t have much time to meditate, do yoga, attend spiritual retreats or even read long spiritual books, so you have to bring your spirituality to what you’re doing in the moment, which is parenting.

2. How can parenting be a spiritual practice?

Anything you do mindfully and from a place of connection is a spiritual practice. The challenge for parents is that so many parenting moments can knock us out of connection–our child does something that embarrasses us, say, or we worry that they’re not going to thrive–so it takes constant reminders. But I’m a big believer that the most powerful spiritual practices are those we bring to our daily lives–it’s the reason my prior book, the novel *Downward Dog, Upward Fog*, was about a woman trying to stay on her spiritual path not by going to India or Bali but by working at her job and dealing with her annoying boyfriend and her horrible mother. Readers really resonate with that notion, because our mundane days are where we spend most of our life.

3. How do you manage having less free time after being a parent and what is that like?

Parenting, especially when our kids are young, is all-consuming. Things you used to love to do–for me it was doing and teaching yoga, attending a lot of spiritual lectures, and writing for fun–you simply don’t have time for. But instead of shifting completely into all the activities the kids want to do, it’s important to stay mindful about what keeps you centered and brings you your own pleasure outside of your child. I think it’s crucial that parents take a tiny bit of their very tight time to do something you were passionate about before you had kids: if it’s cooking an elaborate dinner, maybe make a complex entree one night a week, or if you love to write fiction, you may not have time for that novel right now but you can start a short story.

4. What advice would you have for someone who is afraid that being a parent will mean not having enough time or space to engage in spiritual practices like yoga or meditation?

Why not try doing some of those practices with your child? I adored doing yoga with my daughter when she was younger, and there are so many great books and videos that can show you how to keep the kids entertained. If your child can’t or won’t sit for a meditation, try a walking meditation outside. I also advise catching small snippets of time yourself to do a few short breathing practices–even if you have to do it in the bathroom, or while you’re making dinner.

5. What has been the biggest pleasant surprise of being a parent?

I think all parents are surprised at how much your capacity to love expands. Until you have a child, you can’t imagine how much it opens your heart. And that’s wonderful, because parents can use that even when their child is challenging them. When I lecture about my book, I have everyone close their eyes and envision how they felt the first time they held their newborn. When you bask in that feeling for a few minutes you remind yourself of that unconditional love, which you have the ability to bring into any parenting moment no matter what’s going on.

6. What has been the biggest unpleasant surprise of being a parent and how do you manage that?

As they get older, kids learn how to push a parent’s buttons. And when they start wanting things that are different from what we want from them–if they pick friends we don’t adore or make school or career choices we wouldn’t, for instance–it’s easy to get into conflicts with them. I remember how frustrated I was when my son was in the eighth grade and stopped doing his work. But they’re not you and they get to make their own choices in life–and we parents are happier when we remember that. (BTW, my son did finish eighth grade, and college, and is now a computer engineer.)

7. Anything else?

I end my book with a quote from the spiritual teacher and author Esther “Abraham” Hicks, that I think is a great message for parents: “Everything is unfolding perfectly, and as you relax and find ease, in your attitude of trust, knowing that well-being is your birthright, amazing things will happen.” In other words, it’s all good.

Below is a Q&A with Joseph Sutton, author of The YEARS the Giants Won the Series: A Fan’s Journal of the 2012 and 2010 World Series Seasons. Drawn from his personal journal, Joseph Sutton’s observations of the San Francisco Giants’ climb to win two World Series will remind you over and over again how a bunch of ragtag ballplayers in 2010 and a band of young ballplayers in 2012 became champions of the world against all odds. Interspersed with comments from his notes of twenty years ago as Little League coach for his young son Ray’s teams, Sutton enhances the importance that baseball plays in cementing relationships between fathers and sons, and some daughters too. Below is a Q&A with him…

1. What is the most challenging part of being a parent for you and how do you manage that challenge?

It was extremely challenging when my son was depressed, had low self-esteem or was unhappy. I kept asking myself, “What can I do to get him out of this negative state of mind?” A parent, above all, needs to be patient and empathize with his child.

2. What has been the most rewarding part of being a parent?

Seeing my son grow, mature and turning out to be something I never had the slightest thought of him becoming. My son Ray is a high school counselor.

3. How was it to balance being a parent, husband and following your passion to write books?

It wasn’t easy being a parent, husband and writer. Until my first book sold, I was a high school teacher until I quit and became a costume jewelry salesman. I had very little time to write during that ten-year period in my life, but being a writer never left my mind. After my first book was published, it gave me the time to write full-time.

4. It seems like today, many young people are less likely to get married and then have children. What are your thoughts on that and what advice would you give them about getting married and having children?

I come from a large family of six boys. But that doesn’t mean I believe in large families. The world is overpopulated as it is. I had only one child and it was a very fulfilling and rewarding time for me. It seems to me that couples without a child are missing out on one of life’s great challenges and adventures.

5. What advice would you give to newly married men about being a husband and a father?

My advice to newly married men is to realize that your wife is imperfect and that compromise is necessary for a loving relationship. As for being a father, love your child and take a keen interest in him or her from the get-go. Feed your child’s passion, whether it’s sports. academics, music, dance or whatever. Feed it and nourish it. Above all, be patient and trust your child’s judgment.

6. Why do you think it took 20 years for you to publish your first book; and then subsequently you were able to successfully publish 10 more books? And, what helped you maintain your commitment to being a writer during those 20 years?

It took me that long to publish because one publisher was willing to take a chance on me. After that my confidence soared. Confidence is so important to the psychological makeup of a writer, athlete, teacher or any other profession. What helped me maintain my commitment was my persistence—I somehow have something in me that won’t say die. Of course I had my doubts along the way, but my love of writing, of creating, stayed with me.