1. Why did you write “Finding the Wild Inside” and what does the “wild inside” mean to you? 

I started writing because I wanted to reflect on some important experiences I’ve had in my life, moments that impacted me greatly.  I had a sense of how they were related to one another, but I wanted to look more deeply. It soon became apparent that in my writing, I was following the underground river of my inner life from early childhood to my elder years. That beautiful river flows just beneath the surface in all of our lives. I realized that sharing my story might inspire others to explore that part of themselves more deeply and my writing became my book, Finding the Wild Inside.

I wanted to write about the non-rational part of being human.  This part of us is easily overlooked in our society because we are completely enamored with our rational minds. We want to shine a light on everything and examine things to the nth detail and just look at all the knowledge we have attained relying on this part of ourselves. But there is a whole other part of us, what I am calling our “wild inside.” This part of us thrives in the shadows, the twilight, the darkness. It likes to see things in their wholeness rather than all their tiny parts. It loves to wander in mystery and speaks to us in feelings, image, and metaphor. 

Our rational minds would just soon pretend that this other part of us doesn’t exist, but like the stars that are still shining, though we are blind to them in the day time, our non-rational selves are there and affecting us in every way. When we walk in the world relying on the knowledge attained from only one part of ourselves, we are not walking with our full potential. 

The reason I find it so compelling to explore this wild, undomesticated part of ourselves is that in this place, we humans have far more in common than we have differences. Imagine what it might be like if we truly understood that as we try to solve all the problems we face in our lives and in the world at large.

2. What is expressive arts therapy and who can benefit from it?

Others may describe it differently, but for me expressive arts therapy accesses this part I’m calling our “wild inside” through using art, music, movement, writing and drama for self-exploration. Our rational mind tells a certain story about our lives and our challenges. It has its own slant and is full of many judgements about who we are and who we should be. 

The arts are an open door to our non-rational self. If you are saying, “But I’m not creative,” let me reassure you. We don’t have to be one of the talented few in any of the arts to access the wisdom that can come to us in this way. We are all artists, musicians, writers, poets, dancers, actors, because it comes with being human. We all have a deep wellspring of inner wisdom. We just need to learn ways of accessing it and understanding the language it uses when it speaks to us. 

Expressive arts therapy dwells in the mystery of feelings, images, symbols, metaphors, dreams, intuition and synchronicity. We are creative beings. We are creating our lives in each and every moment whether we acknowledge that or not. When we make a move to align ourselves with our innate creativity we bring a sparkle, a freshness, and revitalization into our lives. Instead of falling into old patterns, spontaneity returns and from there, many new possibilities for our lives begin to reveal themselves. Everyone can benefit from exploring their lives in this way. In my work, though we address problems along the way, I have tended to work with clients who want to expand their horizon of what it means to be human. 

3. Can you talk about your creative retreat “For the Joy of It!”? What have you learned from leading creative sessions and workshops for over 40 years? 

I have been seeing clients in my expressive arts therapy practice here at For the Joy of It!” since 1987 and offering personal creative retreats on my property since 2010.

My work itself is a creative project, a living thing that comes from my own creative center. In my practice, I have had the privilege of witnessing the inner lives of so many. I feel my studio bursts with the energy of life lived, our light sides, our dark sides, the community of characters we all carry inside of us, all peeking out into the light of day asking to be seen, asking for our love and acceptance. 

In the end, I’ve come to believe that a full and creative life asks that we find a compassionate place inside where everything, the best and the worst of us gets a place at the table. As we find that love and acceptance inside, I know we will be more loving and accepting of those around us. 

My idea to have out of town guests come to For the Joy of It! on retreat is more recent. I live in the forest on a seven-acre property outside of the town of Mendocino, CA. Guests step away from their busy lives and slow way down. Here they can move for a time at nature’s pace. They stay in a room on the second floor of my house and have expressive arts sessions with me over the time of their stay. They have access to my art yurt while they are here as well. The yurt is full of all kinds of art supplies, a piano, drums and other instruments. It is a creative play space designed for everyone to enjoy. My creative retreats are uniquely designed for each guest and do not require talent, training or experience in any of the arts.

I know for myself and I see in my retreatants, that when we step away from “life as usual,” we are open to change in a way that our work-a-day world doesn’t allow. Supported by mother nature, and relaxing into ourselves, can help us direct our lives from a deeper place inside of us. This is what I most hope for, for guests who come on creative retreat. 

4. Have you experienced any serendipity or synchronicity in your work? If so, what is a good example?

The way I have experienced synchronicity in my life is when events in my outer world align in a meaningful way with what is happening in my inner process.  In Finding the Wild Inside, I tell several stories of synchronous experiences with wild animals around the time of my divorce after 25 years of marriage. For instance, I had to bury a little fawn who died in my meadow, just as I was awakening from the immature innocence of my childhood dreams about marriage and family. Soon after, as we were splitting up our worldly goods, disrupting my home as I had known it, an elk tore my tent apart on a camping trip. More recently, when the advance reader copy of my book arrived, I was surprised when within an hour of holding my book in my hands for the first time, a bear visited my meadow. My adventures with bears play big in my book. I had not seen a bear here in a couple of years. A friend suggested that my co-author had arrived!

Memorable synchronicities with the natural world often occur during my sessions with clients. A raven in the forest will call out, putting an exclamation point to something important being spoken in our session. Once a huge clap of thunder boomed, just as my client came to a profound insight about her life. It often happens that it starts raining just when a session turns to sadness and tears and the sun appears just as clarity is settling in. And, I was once talking with a couple about their sex life, when a buck deer, chasing a doe, circled my art yurt three times before disappearing into the woods. We were speechless and then couldn’t stop laughing. The conversation changed dramatically afterwards, with each seeing the other’s position much more compassionately. 

When synchronous events happen, I always feel like magic is afoot.  I feel blessed by the sparkle of what just happened and I am left wondering if maybe there is more to being human than I ever imagined. Maybe our inner worlds and our outer worlds are not as separate as we think. In those moments, it seems possible that we belong in our world in a way we have yet to fully imagine. If we open our eyes to that reality, then we must see that we are an integral part of the web of life that connects everything and everyone. Imagine who we might be in the world if that was our orientation?

5. Why should we embrace aging? And, what does elderhood mean to you?

It is important to embrace aging because it is a part of living.  Turning our backs on this natural process robs us of accepting our belonging to this wild universe of which we are a part. 

Ancient cultures understood much more about the circle of life than we do. The Divine Feminine archetype presents herself, the world over, in three phases, the Maiden, the Mother, and the Crone. In our culture, we are enamored by the Maiden, pay homage to the Mother but denigrate and deny the death bringing Crone. She is the one who is in charge of endings, disintegration, dissolution and the inevitability of our dying. Our inability to deal with this part of our human experience leaves us ill prepared to deal with all the losses we experience in life, the loss of a loved one, divorce, losing a job, children leaving home, illness. These are endings that we, most often, move through finding new life emerging. Change is central to our human experience, and throughout our lives we come to know the life, death, life cycle again and again. Holding the energy of the Crone at bay takes an enormous amount of energy, energy we could be dedicating to living more fully while we are still alive. 

Embracing aging doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try to remain as healthy as we can for as long as we can. We can cherish our vitality and honor the power of Mother Nature to determine whether we live or die. Underneath all of our rationality, we have animal bodies. Throughout our lives, we in this culture use our brilliant minds to run away from our animal selves, like Goldilocks ran from the Three Bears. I cared for my elderly parents in the last years of their lives. My mom lived to be almost 102 years old. What I saw was that in old, old age, our animal body comes back to claim us as its own. There is a harsh kind of beauty in allowing ourselves to be part of the circle of life. If we can’t allow ourselves to be held in that circle, we wander endlessly without ever knowing our true home.

For me, elderhood means being willing to stand in the circle of life, embracing life’s beginnings and being able to remain present for life’s endings. It means knowing that we are just a tiny grain of sand in the big picture of things and yet willing to dedicate ourselves to bringing our own unique expression in the world into full bloom. Elderhood isn’t about bucket lists, though it is important to ask what yet wants to be lived.  For me, it is more about asking what yet wants to deepen in me. It is about listening inside, ignoring the chatter and asking, “What is yet mine to do?” Elderhood is about holding my place in society but listening to the younger generations and trusting into their knowledge and good energy.  It is easy in old age to fall into bitterness and cynicism about the future but I want to be the one holding a beacon of light, trusting into the power of life longing for itself and offering my grandchildren hope for their future.

6. What are your thoughts on feminine spirituality and connecting to Mother Nature? 

We do not exist without the blessings of Mother Nature, yet we find it easy to take her for granted. The feminine is denigrated in our culture on every level. It was important for me to explore earth based spirituality and the matriarchal world view that existed before the patriarchy came into being. In her book, The Dream of the Cosmos, Anne Baring suggests that in our human consciousness, the Great Mother energy “was” everything (earth, sea, sky, everything), before a transcendent God became the “maker” of everything. When that happened nature and spirit were torn apart and we live with that split to this day. I never imagined replacing my childhood God with the Goddess, rather I am longing to heal that split, and bring Mother Earth and Father Sky back together. Our lives aren’t one or the other, day or night, light or darkness, sun or moon, masculine or feminine but rather about healing all of those splits inside of us and making our world whole.

7. Is there anything else you’d like to share?

I was one of so many who travelled to the path of totality for the solar eclipse in August of 2017. Watching as the moon and the sun became perfectly aligned was a moment of awe that will be with me forever. I felt like I was part of a timeless universe, where so many had experienced this kind of cosmic event over eons of time. At one point, I looked around at all those who were sharing this experience in that Idaho cow pasture with me and the thought passed through me that in the face of this cosmic experience, the political differences between us were so small as to be inconsequential. 

I believe that images guide us toward an unknown and not yet speech ripe future. That image of the masculine energy of the sun and the feminine energy of the moon marrying there in the sky with such astonishing beauty, can serve as a guiding image to help us heal the split between the rational and non-rational parts of our human experience. To my mind, hope for our world rests on manifesting our human potential in this way.

What are your books, Love is the Seed: Teachings from the Spirit World and The Three Supreme Gifts: A Practical Approach to Self-Mastery and to Transforming Your Life Here and Now about and why did you write them?

The story behind both of these books is pretty incredible.

In the Fall of 1981, my father began channeling messages from various souls and Wise Ones and my mother sat by his side, for a period of two years, taking dictation of every word that was spoken.

The purpose of the souls and Wise Ones coming through was to share messages to benefit mankind. That was their primary intention for channeling through my father, to share messages to benefit us all having this human experience.

Growing up, this was always very exciting to me, and I knew that one day I would share these messages with others.

In September of 2018 I wrote my first book, Love is the Seed: Teachings from the Spirit World, where I share over 150 of these sessions with Spirit. As you read and see meaning within these sessions with Spirit, you begin to discover ways to free yourself of negative patterns that no longer serve your life. You begin to break free of obsessive thought and “victim” mentality that we sometimes find ourselves stuck in.

It is through the sessions with Spirit that I learned the empowerment of the three supreme gifts of love, thought and free will. When I started to take an in-depth look into why these three supreme gifts are so important to understand and why they are emphasized repeat­edly in Love is the Seed, I was simultaneously brought to tears and illuminated with excitement, and awakened in many ways to the absolute gift of this life.

It was at this point of enlightenment that I wrote my second book, The Three Supreme Gifts: A Practical Approach to Self-Mastery and to Transforming Your Life Here and Now.

Within The Three Supreme Gifts, you’re taken on an extraordinary journey within to discover why you came into this life and how to make it everything that you want it to be.

You write about relax in the knowing. What advice would you have for someone who has a history of trauma or inclination towards anxiety and has difficulty relaxing because of previous trauma or losses in life?

“Relax in the knowing” is really a core message in everything that I share and stems from the sessions with Spirit documented in Love is the Seed: Teachings from the Spirit World.

Relax in the knowing that:

• we are never alone in this life
• there is a divine timing for all things
• we have, inherent within us, the full empowerment to get through times of challenge and struggle
• we are not required to have all of the answers
• we have all that we need at this very moment to create a life of greater joy and fulfillment

I have great compassion for those who experience trauma and loss; I’ve experienced my own trauma and loss, experienced panic attacks, and I know people who suffer from anxiety and depression and there is no “one size fits all” method to healing.

But here is what I know for sure based on my own experience, those of my father and the messages reflected within the sessions with Spirit, is that we have a choice in the thoughts we think, how we feel, how we view what is happening in our life and the actions that we take. Our greatest power comes from within.

What is learned through the teachings of Spirit is that we each are given, upon our creation, three supreme gifts, which are what empower us to feel better, more in control and know that we can, in fact, have a life of greater joy and peace.

My advice to those who experience anxiety and past trauma is to seek out others for support, be willing to ask for help, be willing to call on your faith to help you through, be willing to pray, be willing to give of yourself to benefit another, because all of these things can change your perspective on your life, give you a greater sense of purpose, and reconnect you with who you really are. It is a gradual process, but the results can be felt immediately.

I think the most important first question to ask yourself if you’re one who has an inclination towards anxiety or has experienced trauma is, “Am I willing to feel better?” That’s a really important question and the answer is not always an immediate “yes” for people.

When the answer is “yes,” then you can begin to make the shift from a life of perceived problems, to one of solutions, empowerment and blessing begets blessings. One way of doing this is through powerful mantras. I share a number of specially crafted mantras in The Three Supreme Gifts.

How can love, thought and free will transform our life?

As expressed within the sessions with Spirit, love, thought and free will are supreme gifts that we each are given upon our creation. And each of these gifts is its own system of empowerment.

When these gifts are utilized and understood from a greater, divine perspective, what you get is an amazing, harmonious integration of empowerments, which allows you to attain self-mastery to the best of your ability and transform your life.

You will, of course, still be met with challenges in this life, but you handle them better.

When you become more aware of how you can incorporate love, thought and free will more fully in your life—as defined in The Three Supreme Gifts—you will begin to notice subtle shifts happening in your life; it’s very exciting when this happens. The more you see it work, the more you allow the three supreme gifts to be a natural part of your lifestyle.

Because of implementing the teachings and practices within The Three Supreme Gifts in my own life, I get to see firsthand the way this divine energy of love moves throughout all of life. I can only describe it as, “things line up.”

When negative emotions arise or I feel myself becoming more impatient for one reason or another, I immediately recognize it, implement the practices that I share in The Three Supreme Gifts and because of that, I feel a deeper sense of inner peace and fulfillment on a regular basis.

What are the three “stories of life” that you speak about?

The “three stories of our life” is a way of understanding how we can sustain greater flow, connection and joy.

ONE: There is the story that we write.

TWO: There is the story that is being written through us.

THREE: And there is the story that we co-write with God.

The story that we write translates to us as personality seeking out purpose and fulfillment. We “write” how we want our life to go. We determine what we want and go after it.

The story that is being written through us is by the grace of God. And this story is not always the same as the story that we are writing, yet it is always for our benefit.

And then there is the story that we co-write with God. And this comes when we have faith in the story being written through us and we’re willing to co-create how we want this story to go. When we co-write our story with God, we become the instrument by which creation happens.

As an example, I know many people who have desired a specific career path, so they make plans and take action to follow that path. (They begin writing their own story.) But then, they find that things are not coming easy or lining up for them and they keep getting guided toward another career direction. (There is a story being written through them.) At some pivotal point in their struggle and suffering to “make things happen,” they realize that perhaps they are not meant to do what they are doing and they surrender to where they are being guided, and when they do, they find that their life begins to flow again and they feel fulfilled within their work. (They have started to be an active participant in co-writing their story with God.)

When we co-write our story with God, it is like writing a poem. At some point, the poem begins to write itself—there is flow. This is co-creation at work.

What is the best way to begin incorporating these three gifts in a practical way without getting overwhelmed?

What I have discovered to be the most effective and attainable method for most people, no matter how busy they are, is through mantras and prayers.

In the book The Three Supreme Gifts: A Practical Approach to Self-Mastery and to Transforming Your Life Here and Now, I provide a number of specially crafted mantras. The beauty about mantras and prayers is that they can be done at any time; you can be out walking or working at your desk, or where ever you are, and they instantly break up the mind-chatter that often holds us back from feeling good and being able to accomplish what we desire. Both practices have physical, emotional and mental benefits.

You talk about how most people live in a paradigm of habitual problem-centered and ambition-centered living. How does this impact our life?

Yes, this is true. When we take a moment to think about our life and when we pay attention to our thoughts, we often find that we are consistently focused on a problem to solve, something that bugs us, something that is not going right, or that next thing that we want to attain or accomplish.

The way that this impacts our life is we make ourselves miserable and we disconnect ourselves from the joy that we want and that is possible to experience on a daily basis.

But fortunately, there is a way that we can find our way out of these paradigms and into greater clarity and I expand on this in The Three Supreme Gifts.

Why is the “thought” aspect of “love, thought and free will” so important to understand?

One of the main reasons is because thought is where we get most stuck.

I’m sure that everyone can think of a time when something upsetting happened, like you have an argument with a friend or spouse, and you replay this argument over and over again in your mind, thinking about what you should have said, what you should say next, and you even sometimes go as far as to play out various scenarios of what may happen next.

When we do this, we get stuck in a negative thought-cycle, causing us to feel miserable and out of control.

“Thought” comes in between “love” and “free will,” affecting both. “Thought,” when based in fear, can block the empowerment of love inherent within us and it can misguide our free will actions, taking us down a negative path.

And there is a deeper exploration of thought in both books, but to summarize the importance of thought is to say that the quicker we can harness the power of our thoughts so that they are of service to us, the more we can live the fulfilling life that we desire.

What is so empowering about understanding “there is always a solution” that you often speak about?

One very important realization that I made from the sessions with Spirit documented in Love is the Seed: Teachings from the Spirit World, is that there is an energy a solutions that exists. It is an energy of clarity, of enlightenment and of love. It is a divine energy. We can connect with this energy at any time.

When we are in the midst of challenge, suffering, negative thinking, or anything that takes us in the opposite direction of joy, and we declare and remind ourselves that “there is always a solution,” we align two very important aspects of our life:

The first is that we allow a clearer connection with God, who works in the energy of solutions; we release what we can’t control and surrender to an invisible force at work for our benefit. And second, we instantly ease our mind.

These are the five most empowering words you can say to yourself and share with others.

Have you experienced any serendipity or synchronicity in your life? If so, what is a good example?

Many years ago, I was trying to jumpstart a new venture while working full-time in a different field. I knew I needed to network and despite not really enjoying many networking events that I had previously attended, I psyched myself up to attend an evening business development event. The event was mostly geared toward professionals in coaching, consulting, speaking and business development.

Shortly into the event, a woman (who I later learned was a Shaman and Healer) came up to me and asked, “are you ‘open?’” I instantly knew that she was asking me if I was “spiritually open”. I smiled and said, “yes” and she proceeded to tell me that she was walking around, and Spirit was screaming at her to come talk to me.

She then began to tell me exactly how I had been feeling about my life and work, and that I was not doing what I was meant to be doing as a career. Honestly, I knew this as well, but I was still stubbornly trying to pursue a path that was not completely authentic to me.

This chance-meeting with her was a life-changing experience. We went on to not only become great friends, but she has been an amazing guide to me for years. I went into that business event with a specific set of expectations and I came out from that event enlightened in an entirely unexpected way, which helped to lead me to doing what I love today—writing and speaking on messages that Spirit so eagerly wanted to share for the benefit of mankind.

Do you offer resources for people looking to know more about these sessions with Spirit and the books?

Yes, I do. On my website www.LoveIsTheSeed.com, I offer free practices, mantras and daily prayers as well as videos and articles that expand on the divine teachings that came through the sessions with Spirit. Additionally, I offer a free video series for those reading Love is the Seed: Teachings from the Spirit World, as well as free downloads for those reading The Three Supreme Gifts: A Practical Approach to Self-Mastery and to Transforming Your Life Here and Now, so that readers can get the absolute most out of the books.

1. What is Dancing to the Darkest Light about and why did you write it?

It is a memoire, It starts from our lives as Persian Jews in Iran, the revolution, our escape, arriving in the land of opportunity, making it here and then tragedies. The worst kind. One after the other. The last chapter ‘Dancing With Life’ is about living for the ‘Whys’ in your life and not the ‘Why nots’ and still seeing beauty in life.

2. Tell us about your life. What was it like to leave Iran?

The situation was so dangerous in Iran that when we left, we are happy, even though we left everything behind. We had each other and our freedom. That was enough for us.

3. What was is like getting your bachelor’s degree in Business and  master’s degree in Art Gallery Management while taking care of your  first two kids while they were in diapers.

It was the ultimate act of juggling. But I would not have it another way. I think it is very much the attitude of an immigrant. We saw this great land of every opportunity and …why not? We did not have that possibility back in Iran, I was happy to able to do it. The hard work was just an inconvenience that I learned not to pay attention to.

4. What does family mean to you?

Everything! Family is my backbone, my caisson, my brick wall, my safety net, my savior, my to go to therapy, my source of joy and the place for love.

5. How did you overcome so much tragedy?

By trying to fix ‘me’ and not the people or the conditions around me. Because I realized those unfortunate events were not in my control. Such was life and I had to change accordingly. As Rumi said, “it is your path and yours alone, people might walk it with you but no one can walk it for you”.

6. What did you learn about yourself and others throughout all of this?

That the potential of a human being is limitless. If you dig in yourself you can discover so many qualities. That how we see ourselves is just like looking at the tip of an iceberg sticking out from the ocean and thinking that is the extent of it. Just put your face inside of the water and see how deep down it goes. That is us!

7. Anything else you would like to share?

So much more, That we should not take life so seriously, that life is really not interested in us. We think we are important. Life is just interested to go forward. That life is!
‘ Pantarei”, ‘everything flows’ Heraclitus, 6th century BC.

That no matter what …life is still beautiful, that the past is in the past which ‘Was’
and the future is ‘Not Yet’ , enjoy what you have ‘Now’ and not yearn for what was.
AND A LOT MORE!

A whole book more!

What is your book about and why did you write it?

The Spirit of Life is a book of inspiration and meaning. For so long now, man has disconnected further and further from his truth, and in so doing, has disconnected from all that makes him whole.

We are on the epicentre of a huge shift in consciousness that is coming to our planet. It is hard to ignore the huge shift that has already started taking place in our hearts and minds. No longer are we prepared to stand for the lies. No longer are we prepared to stand for suffering and greed. No longer are we prepared to stand for the destruction of the planet, but many of us do not yet know how we can play our parts in this shift that is undoubtedly coming.

‘The spirit of life’ seeks to inspire people to reconnect back with their gifts and passions. It seeks to show people that great healing can take place through this process as we start to walk the path that our soul wishes us to walk instead of the one that society deems.

As we start to have more awareness of self and more awareness of the ‘great lie’ that has kept us bounded and shackled, that has seen us putting our dreams on hold in our quest to make money at all costs and has seen us treating both ourselves and others poorly, in a bid to continue to live this lie, we start to notice how much power we give away to those that will take it and how we allow ourselves to be held in the lie by the very power that we give away.

By starting to realign with our true selves and the true power of who we are, slowly slowly, step by step, we start to find not only the strength, but the vision, to be able to take that power back. To be able to use it for not only the good of our own well being, but also for the greater good of mankind.

And as we start to take back that power, so too do we start to see how our own gifts and passions can heal not only ourselves, but those around us too, as we gently shine our inner light and encourage others to do the same.

‘Every one of us has a gift, a gift that will help to heal the rift’. By reconnecting with these gifts, each and every one of us has the opportunity to offer something to help humanity heal.

You used to be a stockbroker and then became a medium, healer and author. How did you have the courage to switch careers and what was that transition like and what led to such a drastic change? Were you ever afraid you would fail?

It certainly has been a huge change and not one that I took lightly, but twelve years of working as a stockbroker, in both London and Hong Kong, took a huge toll on my health.

I defined myself as a career girl and a party girl so when my health started to decline and my daily life became a chore, I had to start questioning who I really was.

It took six years of my health conditions spiralling out of control to finally find the courage to walk away from that lifestyle and that paycheck. I was suffering with colitis, fibromyalgia, exhausted adrenals, chronic fatigue and acute stress but I still battled hard against the change that was coming for me.

When I finally found the courage to walk away from the life that I knew, having suffered a small breakdown and being told by my doctor that my colitis could lead to me losing my bowel if I didn’t make a drastic change, I had no idea where my new path would take me and quite frankly, I was terrified. 

I knew that I was a medium but I had shied away from that gift, seeing it as more of a curse than a blessing, and had blocked out any contact with spirit for over ten years. I knew that I could write but throughout my stockbroking career, no words came as my creativity dwindled to nothing. I knew that there was more to life than what I was currently doing but I had no idea what it was that I was meant to be doing. Most importantly, I knew that something had to change.

Change can be terrifying for all of us, not knowing what is on the other side, sometimes we convince ourselves that we are happy in our current situation, no matter how difficult our current situation is but if my journey has taught me anything, it is that change comes when it needs to and that often, what is on the other side of change can lead us to finding our gifts, passions and dreams, if only we could find the courage to take that leap of faith.

How did you connect with your spirit guide and what has that connection meant to you?

Having left Hong Kong and finding myself back in my home town of London, I enrolled on a mediumship course, having finally succumbed to spirit’s pestering for me to do so!

A year and a half into my development, we were asked to do an impromptu trance session which sees the spirit communicator being able to blend a lot more closely than in a normal mediumistic connection. As I gently blended with my communicator, I felt that I had been joined by an incredibly enlightened wizard and I have never felt inner peace or wisdom like it.

As I brought through words of wisdom from my communicator, I recognised the language being used as being very similar to that which flows through me when I write. It was then that I decided to sit with him, alone, and write, to simply see what would happen. By reading this book you will bear witness to those conversations, from start to finish – no editing, no changing, just as it came.

Connecting with Merlin, the enlightened wizard that I speak of, has taken me on a journey like no other. Not only has he encouraged me to reconnect with my own gifts and passions but he has taught me how to heal. Through the process of healing myself, I have also discovered that I have the ability to heal others, not only through my healing hands but also through the words of wisdom that come through in this book, as well as in my daily life.

Merlin has taught me to reconnect with my own ancient wisdom in a bid to help others to do the same. Through the launch of this book, I hope to seek to empower people to reconnect with their own inner knowing, not by telling them what the truth is, but rather by guiding them to find that truth for themselves.

Did you experience any serendipity throughout your career change or writing your book? If so, what?

I would like to share a beautiful story with you. Several months before my father passed away from stage four brain cancer, I had a calling to trek to Everest base camp. I can’t say that I was too happy about this calling as trekking a mountain was not exactly on the top of my to do list, but over time, I have learnt to trust when spirit calls and therefore, somewhat unwillingly, accepted the challenge.

My connection with Merlin, and therefore the writing of this book, began three months after my father passed away. I was due to start the trek on the 31st October 2015 but due to my luggage arriving a day late, I was unable to start the trek until the following day which just so happened to be my dad’s first birthday since his passing. 

When I completed the first day’s trek, I sat on the mountain and wrote an insert for my book. As I channelled the words of spirit, I started to realise that I was writing the conclusion and so, I finished writing my book on my dad’s first birthday since his passing, whilst sitting on the beautiful mountain of Everest. This was an incredible way to know that my dad is not only still around me, but is also helping me with my work.

When I first started channeling this book, I recognised how similar the information coming through was to the Conversations with God books, although written in a very different way. I had read book one and two a couple of years before but had not yet had the opportunity to read book three. I had remarked to myself that it was very important that I did not read book three until I had completed my book as I wanted to make sure that I was a pure conduit for spirit, without outside influences. 

After finishing my trek, I went to Pokhara for a few days to relax. I was craving avocados, having not been able to get much nutrient rich food on the mountain, so when I stumbled across a little Australian cafe, serving smashed avocado, I knew that this was going to be my sanctuary for the next few days. 

After ordering my breakfast, I was drawn to a book that had been left on the side. That book, of course, was Conversations with God, part three. As I spent my next few days in that cafe, eating avocados and reading that book, it just went to further validate the information that I, myself had channeled. The sources may be different but the truth is still the same.

I would therefore like to thank Neale Donald Walsch for helping to light my way. Understanding his struggles with releasing such a book has helped me to work with mine. Seeing how many people his books have touched has helped me to understand the importance of releasing mine. Seeing his bravery has helped me to unlock mine.

Author bio:

Niaby is an ex stock broker who saw the light in the darkest hour of poor health and recognised the call of her soul to walk a different path.

That path has led her to be of service to spirit as she gently brings through words of wisdom from a higher source. Both a healer and a spiritual medium, she hopes to inspire people, through her writing, to find the power to heal themselves, so in turn, they too can inspire others to do the same.

Niaby is the author of the book ‘The Spirit of Life’ and has written articles for Female First, Wake Up World and Elephant Journal. She can be contacted on her instagram page at: https://www.instagram.com/thespiritoflifebook/

Why did you name your book “Just Enough?”

I named the book Just Enough because I thought it encapsulated my philosophy both on spirituality and on cooking. A very basic skill in cooking is being able to add just enough salt, for example, but knowing how much salt is “enough” is actually quite hard for people! It’s also subjective.

When I began writing this book I was also reintegrating into modern, secular society after many years in the Japanese monastic system. I was taking a real look at how my life had been on these poles of extremes: first hedonism and luxury as a young person in the West, and then self-abnegation and discipline as a Buddhist nun. When I started writing this book I was clear that neither extreme worked for me any more. So an underlying theme in the book is how to arrive at balance or moderation in our personal and spiritual lives.

You trained as tenzo (head chef), serving traditional Buddhist vegan and vegetarian food to temple members and guests. What did that time cooking and serving teach you about your life as a woman, a Buddhist and a Vegetarian?

Cooking is a great joy. I always loved working in monastery kitchens because it illuminated to me how spiritual practice is not separate from daily life. Daily life is spiritual practice. What else is there to work with? Oftentimes we think of meditation or spirituality as this rarified, special thing. But there’s nothing rarified about peeling potatoes and scrubbing pots.

Training as head chef did not change my views on being a woman, other than to clarify for me that I love cooking. I’ve always been a feminist and there is a current of thought in contemporary feminism that recognizes how women have been confined to domestic spaces, to activities like cooking and cleaning. I agree with this and also am aware that I will always love cooking. It’s not contradictory to be a feminist and a home cook. I think what’s contradictory is if you are cooking primarily from obligation and expectation rather than genuine interest.

 You’ve trained as a cloistered Buddhist nun and you have also been a Buddhist teacher living out in the “bigger world.” What are the pros and cons of monastery life? Should everyone spend some of their lives in a monastery?

It is much easier to practice Buddhism in a monastery. By this I mean the schedule and institution is set up to include meditation, chanting, etc. You are also surrounded by people who hold the same values and priorities, and who encourage you to follow the Buddhist precepts (ethical guidelines). As opposed to working in a capitalist structure, Buddhist communities value qualities other than productivity and earning money. While hard work is valued, money is not the goal. This really shifts ones relationship to work, self, and value. I found that when I was in a monastery I felt ok being poor. Poverty didn’t matter to me because I was in an environment that prioritized spiritual practice over the accumulation of wealth. The monastic container allowed me to focus on my own heart and mind in a way that other environments do not.

There are many wonderful things about not living in a monastery. Romantic love, for example, is a really wonderful part about being a layperson in society. So is building and raising a family. There is more freedom of thought and emotional expression outside of the monastery. When I left the monastery, I felt like the lid was blown open on my heart. I couldn’t find anywhere to land or rest. On the other hand, I had everywhere to go. The world was open to me. It was terrifying and liberating. When I was younger, the infinite possibilities of the world scared me. I needed limits. I needed my options to be restricted for me. Now I am strong enough that I can look at the world and answer fairly confidently, “Who do I want to be in it? What sliver of consciousness am I going to inhabit? What communities do I want to be a part of?” I don’t need to be in a monastery any more to give me a sense of purpose and belonging; I can create that wherever I am.

If you have an urge to go to a monastery, then go. You don’t need to go, but if you have the longing, then honor that. If you don’t have that desire, then stay where you are. Both are valid.

 What did practicing with other Buddhist nuns teach you about gender and all-women spaces?

That is a big question! I suppose the biggest takeaway for me was that women’s spaces are important. When Buddhism came to the West in the 60’s and 70’s, we were quick to want “equality” of the sexes and never established women’s communities. But those are so important. There are a few all-women meditation retreats around the country, but it’s not the same as living residentially with other women.

Practicing with Buddhist nuns also expanded the definition of womanhood for me. So often in spiritual spaces, womanhood is tied with children and motherhood (think of “mother nature” or even “the mother of all buddhas”). But for most nuns, children don’t factor into the equation, marriage doesn’t factor into the equation, yet they are still women. Or not. Days and weeks would go by in the monastery where I wouldn’t see a man. If there are no men, can there really be women? Lots of us stopped thinking of ourselves as women, or we would transition in and out of thinking we were women. It wasn’t a big, explicit identity crisis, but it was something we definitely talked about.

 What is your favorite recipe from the book and why?

Marinated fried eggplant is a favorite. I dream about it. Of course, this isn’t my recipe. It’s a common Japanese side dish, and I learned it from the Japanese nuns around me. I enjoy that recipe because so much of it is about transforming the vegetable. You need to score the skin with a knife. Then you deep fry it. Then you put it in broth. Then you add toppings.

And, it tastes really, really good.

How has the rise of secular mindfulness impacted Buddhism and meditation in the West?

I think of secular mindfulness in the same way that I think about Starbucks. On the one hand, it’s a big corporation designed to make tons of money. On the other hand, the coffee is really good and has a lot of caffeine in it. My father recently noticed that when a Starbucks moves into a neighborhood, it forces the local coffee shops to up their game. They start making better coffee.

I think secular mindfulness has had a similar effect on American Buddhism. More traditional Buddhists now have to reconcile the surging popularity of secular mindfulness and figure out ways to compete. Not to sound like a capitalist (I’m not I swear!), but I think this kind of competition is good for Buddhism. We need to adapt and address the needs of average people. Mindfulness is a billion dollar industry and it’s not from nothing. It’s because it helps people, often quite profoundly.

Of course there’s going to be people who complain that Starbucks is ruining the local coffee culture, or that mindfulness is ruining Buddhism, but I sort of feel like if an artisanal coffee shop is good enough, it’s going to stay in business no matter what. The same is true with traditional Buddhism. If it meets the needs of people, it will survive. If it doesn’t help the community, it will die out. Secular mindfulness and Starbucks can seem impersonal and heartless, but they do some things very well and very effectively, and we ignore that to our own detriment

What does Buddhism need to do to include more women, queer people, and people of color?

This question is flawed to begin with. People of color invented Buddhism, and women have been a part of it from the beginning. The black, queer feminist Mia McKenzie writes about how often people ask her, “How can feminism include more women of color?” She argues that this is the wrong question, and it’s the same with talking about diversity in Buddhism, I think. Riffing off McKenzie, I often say that the question should not be, “How can we include more people of color,” but how can white people be worthy of Buddhism? That is a better question for me to grapple with. How can I, as a white woman, be worthy of this tradition? It means a lot of unpacking and personal work, to be honest. A lot of reading, and being challenged, and finding blocks in myself that need to be unlocked. It means working with my own shame, it means figuring out how I want to do reparations in this culture.

And, I think it’s never going to be perfect. I’m training to be a psychotherapist and something I’m playing around with is the idea of doing free therapy as reparations for African American people. This idea was put forward by Patrisse Cullors, the found of Black Lives Matter. And yet this idea of therapy as reparations is also fraught. It will offend some people. It is a risk. But I think we have to risk. It’s so easy to do nothing, and so hard to do something, even if the something is as simple as offering a sliding scale or scholarships.

With regards to queer people in Buddhism, I am a queer woman married to a man. Something I’ve noticed is that lots of Buddhist spaces are very resistant to talk about sex and sexuality. This makes sense; Buddhism is grounded in a philosophy of celibacy. But for many queer people, sex-positivity is crucial to our sense of wholeness and vitality. I would like to see Buddhist communities address sex and sexuality in a better way. We have a lot of growth to do in this area.

 Can non-Buddhists, atheists and agnostics still enjoy your book?

Of course! It is a cookbook first and foremost. Really, it’s two books for the price of one—a cookbook of vegan Japanese food, and also a meditation on the philosophy of “enoughness.” You could just read the narrative parts, or just use it as a cookbook. It’s designed to be both.

You’ve described yourself as “A fiery, insatiable, and rebellious feminist.” You often write articles for major magazines and you have a significant presence online. What has it been like to be an out feminist on the Internet and social media?

I often write feminist pieces or slightly angry pieces because no one else is saying what I’m thinking. For example, I was one of the few Buddhist teachers to write about Noah Levine (a famous Buddhist teacher who was accused of sexual assault) publically. Everyone else seemed to be holding back, not making any statements. I understand that it was a tricky issue legally, but I still felt that I had an obligation to say that what he was doing was wrong.

Of course there are trolls or men who disagree with me. The old adage “don’t read the comments” is very, very true. When I published my article “Enlightenment is a Male Fantasy,” it went sort of viral and I made the mistake of reading the comments. That was disheartening. I try not to do that anymore. On my own personal Twitter and Facebook accounts, I have zero tolerance for bullshit. My page, my rules. If you’re rude to me, I will name that and tell you to stop. If you’re invasive or verbally abusive I will block you. I think I’ve sort of trained my audience not to mess with me in certain ways.

I try to have good boundaries while also observing Buddhist precepts, especially right speech. It is a practice. Some public feminists like Roxane Gay are great role models for how to have boundaries online, but some of the things she says I would never say. I will never insult male commenters, for example. That’s her prerogative and I think she’s brilliant, but I have a different style. The phrase “What you’re doing is not acceptable to me” is one I employ a lot.

If readers could take one thing away from reading Just Enough, what would that be?

Salt is your friend. More salt than you think you need. But not too much.

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Gesshin Claire Greenwood is the author of Just Enough and Bow First, Ask Questions Later. She also writes the popular blog ThatSoZen. Ordained as a Buddhist nun in Japan by Seido Suzuki Roshi in 2010, she received her dharma transmission (authorization to teach.) in 2015. She returned to the United States in 2016 to complete her master’s degree in East Asian Studies. A popular meditation teacher, she lives in San Francisco, California. Find out more about her work at Gesshin.net.