The most important part of my growth throughout my recovery from addiction has been my spirituality. Enlarging on the spiritual principles I have been taught in order to further my relationship with my higher power has been the difference in why I was able to get and stay sober this time, as opposed to the countless other times I tried. Over the course of my life I had varying degrees of interest in spirituality. It was a concept that I found worth looking into. But as my addiction ramped up, all thoughts of a power greater than myself, or drugs, went out the window. Now that I have accumulated some sober time, I have found a number of spiritual principles that have helped make me a better person. 

Most of the spiritual principles I have latched onto came from the 12 steps. The 12 steps have been very pivotal in my spirituality. In the past I was quick to dismiss AA as something that was not for me. I’m a bit younger than the majority of the demographic and was much heavier on narcotics than I was alcohol, but this time around I stopped trying to be different. Because regardless of whether we’re talking about an addiction to cocaine or we’re talking about alcoholism the solution, for me, was the same – spiritual growth. The fact of the matter is that I have an addiction to drugs that, left to my own devices, I cannot beat. So I listen to people who have dealt with what I’m up against. I’ve outlined the most important principles that drive my spiritual growth in detail below.

Honesty

I wasn’t able to grow in my sobriety and spirituality until I started being honest. Honest with others and honest with myself. It seems very simple and straightforward but because of the life I had been living, honesty was not natural for me. Throughout my life I found that a lot of times lying served a great purpose. If I was causing trouble I could simply concoct some elaborate story as to why I was actually not in the wrong. 

Learning to be honest took a lot of practice for me. I didn’t find a text or receive advice on how to just be honest so it looked a little more awkward. Going back to people who I lied to and telling them that I was dishonest, then telling them the truth became a somewhat normal occurrence. Through making a conscious effort to be honest and going back and taking accountability for the times that I am not, my relationships have grown much stronger. 

Integrity

Integrity is another very important principle in making me a better person. Integrity is the fuel that enables me to grow in all of my other spiritual principles. As is the case with honesty, if I didn’t have the integrity to own up to the white lies that I instinctively told, then I wouldn’t have grown at all. The temptation of knowing that I could get away with certain things without anyone knowing about it is strong. Whenever I’m tempted to do something that wouldn’t align with the morals I’m trying to live up to, I call people in my sober network to get an outside perspective.

Humility

I do my best to practice humility everyday. One of the ways I do this is asking God to show me his will for me and help me live that out. By doing this I’m attempting to take my ego and wants out of the forefront of my focus. It’s easy to get caught up in a me first mindset where I’m constantly thinking about how to help myself. That’s not how I want to live though. To become a better person I have to think of others and how I can pack more love into the world as opposed to taking everything for myself. By doing this I’m a better person than I was when it was all about me.

Service

Acts of service are the most important things I can do for myself. It’s basically the secret weapon in my spiritual arsenal. In my darkest moments of self doubt and depression, nothing helped me out more than helping someone else. It’s plain and simple; if I’m actively engaging in helping someone else then I don’t have time to focus on me. My growth as a person and my desire to help someone else constantly gets me out of my own head. It stops me from obsessing about what I don’t have and what I think I need. There are many ways for people to help others all it takes is the effort to make a difference.

There are so many principles that have helped me but these 4 are at the root of all. Making a conscious effort to implement them in my day to day life becomes easier and easier, because the benefits of doing so grow with me. I’m a much happier and more content person than I was when I was using drugs to change the way I felt. Now I don’t have to seek out external ways to fix the way I feel. I have all of the tools I need at my disposal, I just have to use them.

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By Jack Agatston

Jack has a passion for addiction recovery and is dedicated to sharing his message of hope with others through his writing. He is a long time resident of Atlanta, GA. 

Christmas and New Year’s Eve is right around the corner. It’s often a time focused on friends and family, celebration and reflection. While many are excited about this time of year, there is a demographic of people who may not be looking forward to this time of year so much. People in early recovery from drug addiction and alcoholism often find it hard to enjoy the Christmas season. To the laymen it would seem that being around family and celebration would be a great thing but to those early on in recovery it can cause tremendous anxiety. 

When people initially enter recovery their relationship with their family is usually extremely damaged. Even if someone in recovery is doing well for months in a row, there is still very high tension and fear on both sides. So when it comes to the time of year when families get together from all around the country, anxiety hits many in recovery. Things that cause anxiety include:

• Seeing family
• Being away from family
• Triggers that can cause cravings
• Financial stress
• Feeling inadequate
• Feeling unwanted
• Being pressured into doing something you don’t want to do

The list could be continued a lot more but you get the idea. Holidays can be very hard for many from all different types of avenues. So what can you do? Fortunately, there is a lot you can do to prepare. 

Have A Plan

No matter where you may be this Christmas season, you don’t want to just wing it. You never know what during the day can set you off and put you into a funk. Having a plan includes:

• Knowing where to go for a meeting by you
• Having people you can call at any time necessary
• Having the right attitude
• Have an escape plan on the day

As far as meetings, there are many places for both NA and AA that hold marathon meetings. That means that there will be a place the runs meetings for 24 hours straight and sometimes more on the day of a holiday like Christmas or New Years Eve. This means if it’s midnight and you are feeling really uncomfortable, you have a place to go that can make you feel more comfortable. I have gone to many of these meetings in my life and there is always a special energy about those meetings. 

Shift Your Attitude

It is really easy to get caught up in your head and about all the small things this time of year. I have a habit of only thinking about now and about me at times and it really can be crippling. Like is all about perception, if you are not happy about something you need to talk about someone with it and they can help you change perception. Something I was told that really shifted my perception my first Christmas sober was that not every Christmas would feel like this. 

My problem was that I was away from my family and really was sad that I was. I was 6 months sober and just assumed that I would fly home for Christmas now that I was sober, that wasn’t the case. My mom just wasn’t comfortable with it yet and she had every reason to feel that way. That didn’t keep me from being really upset though. I had my sponsor make it clear to me that what I was doing was making sacrifices during that Christmas to ensure the rest of my holiday seasons in the future would be everything I wanted them to be. He was right. 

My first sober Christmas I went to an event my treatment center had been holding and I got to share the day with people who were all in the same position as we practiced gratitude together. It was nothing extravagant, but it was a day I’ll never forget. As I was going through the day and completely accepted things as they were, I knew I was going to be okay in life as long as I stayed on the path I was on. It was a very important day for me.

This holiday season, do what you can to make it the best you can no matter your situation. If you are around family and are worried about that, go out of your way to let them know how much they mean to you and how grateful you are to have them in your life still. If you are along and stranded from family, go help somebody else. There are plenty of people having a worse holiday than you I promise. Like I said, this isn’t forever, it will get easier. The greatest gift you can give yourself this Christmas is another day sober. 

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About the author:

Daniel is a writer in recovery and believes absolutely anyone can get sober provided they are ready to take action. 

By Daniel Wittler

I am one of those individuals who have been to treatment a handful of times. Some of those times I relapsed the same day I left treatment. I look back and wonder why and still have no answers. I had all the signs of being an addict. My life was clearly in jeopardy each time and I did not take it very seriously while in treatment up until my last trip there.It’s been my experience that most of us are not ready to truly enter recovery until we have exhausted every other option and have had life really beat us down to the bottom. I know that was the case for me along with many of my peers. Some of us don’t reach a bottom until we are 6 feet deep in the ground.

So what did my bottom actually look like? I was living in South Florida at the age of 26, I had just fled from New Jersey after being fired from my father’s business for stealing from the warehouse. I had broken his heart and my mom thankfully paid for a flight for me to fly down to Florida. I was in shock, I had flown up to New Jersey about 2 years earlier ready to make a positive impact on not only my own life but to help my family. I was sober for about 6 months as I headed up there and thought I had conquered the disease of addiction. My ego got the best of me and within a year I was back to full on addiction. I did what I usually do in active addiction and I blew up every bridge I had possible at home, hence me on another trip down to Florida, this time with no plan whatsoever.

I found a room to rent for very cheap that was in terrible shape, I would stay up getting high for days at a time without speaking to anyone for weeks at a time. My room was what I like to call my ‘cocoon’, I was safe from everything in there and had a very unhealthy feeling of comfort in that room. From October 2014 to March 2015 I was completely in my own world feeling more isolated than ever before. On March 17, 2015 I got a phone call from my mom, she informed me that my father had died. He had a heart attack while he was sleeping and never woke up from it. He was 60 years old. I was devastated. Fortunately I had reached out to my dad 3 days prior, remember, we had not left on good terms. We had a pretty good and very deep discussion when I reached out, I will always be grateful for that conversation, I remember it very vividly to this day.

I headed back to New Jersey for my fathers service, surrounded by my ex co-workers who knew I had stolen from their company, but they had to be nice. My dad, their boss, was now dead. I felt awful about everything happening that day, it was never more clear that I was wasting my life away than that day. I spent 2 months in New Jersey, not sober of course, crying myself to sleep every night. Around the middle of May 2015, my mom had informed me that I could go to treatment again with money that my father left behind. I quickly said yes and headed down to treatment for another try at this.

As I said in the beginning, the past 6 months before my sober date, May 17th, 2015, were absolute hell on earth. Looking back I am grateful for those months. Of course I’m not grateful for my dad passing away, it’s been nearly 5 years that he is gone and I miss him more than I ever did. Those months prior to getting sober though really humbled me and made me teachable. Once I became teachable I just did what I knew I always was supposed to do in recovery that I hadn’t done before. I not only made a relapse prevention plan but I followed it finally. I also allowed guidance in my life finally rather than thinking I knew what was best. All I knew about was getting high and breaking my family’s heart. My dad was and still is a huge inspiration to me in my recovery. My first motivation in recovery this time was to make him proud and that lives on to this day.

The most important information I can pass on to anyone reading this is that my life did not change for the better until I completely gave up doing things my way. As I mentioned before I have been to treatment many times before and when I discharged I would always ignore suggestions and just do what I wanted to do. No matter how good spirited those ideas I had of my own were, it always made me relapse. This time, I finally completely gave up and completely gave into accepting guidance and my life has been incredible ever since I made the decision of surrender from the heart. If you are struggling, get out of your own way and try it someone else’s way, someone who was once where you are but found a way out.

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Daniel Wittler is a writer in recovery who enjoys sharing his experience, strength and hope to show absolutely anyone can get sober provided they are willing to take action.

A negative mindset can be toxic to anyone’s mental health. It can prevent you from achieving goals and lower your overall happiness. A negative mindset can be toxic especially to those recovering from drug and alcohol addiction because it can be a driving force for relapse.

In today’s world, it is very easy to get trapped in a negative pattern of thinking. When we do, we tend to have difficulty seeing things from a positive perspective. It is possible to turn negative thinking patterns into positive. It just takes practice. Once you do, it becomes a lot easier to control your emotions and improve your mental state. Changing your negative thinking patterns can greatly improve your life and mental health. It is also valuable while trying to sustain sobriety.

We all face obstacles and problems in life. A lot of us who are recovering from drugs and alcohol have a tendency to dwell on our past mistakes and failures. We beat ourselves up over our poor decisions. It is very easy to live in constant fear and anxiety. Problems in any aspect of life can easily affect your mental state. Finding employment, financial debt, failed relationships and familial issues can create harmful stress and negative thoughts. You may even be struggling with cravings for drugs and alcohol. You might be telling yourself that you cannot maintain sobriety. Negative thought patterns for people in recovery can be dangerous but there are things you can do to overcome them and improve your mental well-being.

Catch Yourself

It is important to identify when you are beginning to have negative thoughts. The sooner you catch it, the better. A lot of people struggle with racing thoughts and are unable to stop negative thought processes. I suggest catching your negative thoughts and writing them down. Writing can be a good outlet and seeing your thoughts on paper may give you a different perspective.

Let Go of Shame and Guilt

Do not dwell on your past failures and mistakes. It is easy to beat ourselves up. Instead, try to use the power of acceptance. Once you learn to accept a person, place, thing or situation as is, the easier it is to move forward with your life. Shame and guilt can easily play a role in negative thinking. Mindful meditation is a common practice for those in recovery. It emphasizes relaxation and living in the present moment.

Find Support

We are only human. Negative thoughts are going to occur no matter what. How you handle and control them can make a difference. It is important to stay away from potentially toxic people. Surround yourself with positive people. Having a strong support network is vital in recovery. Do not be afraid to seek professional help. A therapist can be beneficial to you.

Be Grateful

Practicing gratitude can be vital to living a happier life. When you get caught up in a negative train of thought, consider making a list of things you are grateful for. Focus on what you do have rather than what you do not. Remember that things can always be worse.

Help Others

The greatest gift of recovery is being able to help others. Helping others can help you. Being of service to others is rewarding and makes a positive impact. It allows you to shift your focus and energy in a positive way which can help remove any negativity in your life. You also feel a sense of purpose and a heightened sense of self-worth.

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Scott Denton is a freelance writer in recovery who writes for websites such as https://www.ohioarc.com. He works closely with others in his local recovery community, spreading hope and encouragement.

While growing up, I never felt “a part of” anything. I was never able to connect with my family or friends on an intimate level, even though human connection was all that I had been craving. I knew early on that something was different about me, but I could never pinpoint exactly what everyone else had that I did not. I was lonely even in the middle of a crowd and being alone happened to be my worst fear. I always had a creeping sense that something would go wrong, to the point of driving myself to full-blown panic attacks. Feeling alone and fearful, I began to act out at home. I would start screaming matches with my mom, which ultimately just drove a deeper wedge between the two of us over time.

As I got older, my mental despair just worsened. I could never find a reasonto explain the way I behaved, I just knew that I could not control myself. My head would start to spin and I hadn’t developed any tools to stop it. This led me to seek therapy, where I was diagnosed with OCD. OCD showed up for me as extreme anxiety, mostly social, and the constant inability to stay still or stop fidgeting with things. My doctor didn’t believe in medication, so we ended up trying the natural route.

With natural remedies not working to soothe my OCD symptoms, I started to self-medicate with men and substances. This led me into an extremely abusive relationship fueled by drugs, alcohol, and toxic feelings. The abuse gave me an “excuse” to use drugs at a more intense level, and I soon became addicted. I was suffering from co-occurring disorders that just kept building upon each other, worsening each day. Eventually, the drugs did not soothe my symptoms and the abusive relationship I was in led me to develop PTSD.

Once the drugs stopped working, I hit an emotional bottom. I couldn’t sleep due to nightmares from my PTSD, I could barely leave my house because of my anxiety, and I had a deep-rooted hatred for myself for allowing my life to get this bad. I played the victim for years and at this point, I began to blame myself. I felt hopeless, shameful, and completely numb all at the same time. These feelings led me to a suicide attempt, that landed me in a dual-diagnosis treatment center.

All of my life, I craved social connection but pushed it away at the same time. My whole identity was a contradiction. When I stepped foot into that treatment center, I finally felt welcomed and “a part of”. The thought of never using drugs or alcohol again terrified me but by some force, I was granted the sense that everything would work out for the first time. I still hated myself, but the support of other recovering addicts and medical professionals who truly wanted to see me get better allowed me to realize that maybe everything wasn’t my fault.

I was taught about how addiction and mental illness fuel each other and began to learn the proper coping mechanisms that I had lacked. I participated in individual therapy, group therapy, and 12-step meetings while in treatment. I began to learn how to build up my self-worth and I realized that if I don’t love myself, I will continue to hate everything else around me as well as myself. I was ready to quit living a life of unsatisfaction and despair, which meant I needed to look inside of myself and repair what was broken. Trauma therapy became my best friend. Eventually, the nightmares from my PTSD came to an end and my flashbacks are rare. Anxiety is still a struggle, but I have learned coping mechanisms that work more effectively than any drug ever has. I became willing to go through the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and found a relationship with a higher power that has given me strength and purpose.

Going to treatment completely turned my life around for the better and gave me a strong foundation to build a real future upon. I went from completely hating myself, to being able to love and appreciate who I am as a person- inside and out. My devout atheism has been transformed into spirituality and faith, which has allowed me to trust in the process of life instead of trying to micromanage everything. My life today is filled with love, serenity, and trust.

About the Author:

Kailey Fitzgerald is a writer in the South Florida recovery community who is passionate about spreading awareness and breaking stigmas in relation to addiction and mental health.

By Kyle Swanson

Staying sober can be difficult especially for people in early recovery. The cravings and chance to relapse are higher within the first ninety days. Our mind and bodies are trying to adjust to life without addiction to drugs and alcohol. There are several things you can do to make a sober lifestyle easier. Here are some things I recommend based on my personal experience:

1. Physical exercise – Physical activity is great to occupy time and boredom. I believe it is important to keep yourself busy in early recovery. It is also beneficial for mental and emotional health. Staying active can help curb cravings in early recovery. I suggest finding a physical activity that suits you. A normal gym routine, working out at home, jogging/running, yoga and martial arts are a few great options. 

2. Meditation – Practicing meditation is great to calm the mind and body when feeling stressed out, anxious or depressed. Meditating teaches you how to relax, breathe and live in the present moment which is very helpful in early recovery.

3. Seek a therapist – There is nothing wrong with turning to a professional for further help, advice and guidance if you need to. A therapist may be able to see things from a different perspective and offer a unique approach to situations. A therapist is also great to speak to about certain things you may not feel comfortable talking to others about. 

4. Medication – If you struggle with addiction and have trouble quitting, I highly recommend medically assisted treatment. Medically assisted treatment can aid in both withdrawals and help you quit for good. This type of treatment is becoming more popular due to a higher success rate compared to other treatments for addiction.

5. Attend AA/NA meetings – Attending ninety meetings in ninety days is a common recommendation for people in early recovery. The first ninety days in early recovery are seen as the most critical as the cravings are stronger and chances of relapse are higher. Attending meetings is great for inspiration, knowledge and wisdom. It is also a great way to meet people who want to change their lives for the better. Meetings are a great way to build a strong support network. 

6. Find a home group for AA/NA – A home group is a meeting that you attend on a regular basis. I suggest attending various meetings in your area and find the one that suits you best. The sooner you find a home group in early recovery, the better. I suggest finding a meeting you thoroughly enjoy. I also recommend a meeting that you feel socially comfortable in. Find a group where you feel like you belong and fit into. You want a home group that can help you build a strong support network and friendships. 

7. Get a good sponsor – Finding a good sponsor is crucial in early recovery. A sponsor is basically someone who has been there, done that. Find a sponsor that you can relate to. I suggest finding someone who shares a similar story and path to sobriety as your own. I also recommend a sponsor with ten years or more of sobriety. You need a sponsor you can trust and learn from. A good sponsor should always make themselves open and available to you especially in times of need. A sponsor will also work you through the twelve steps. This is one more reason I suggest finding an excellent sponsor you connect with on every level.

8. Work a 12 -step program – Working a twelve steps program can be a grueling but rewarding process. The sponsor of your choice will be responsible for guiding you through these steps. I suggest starting the steps as soon as possible in recovery. The twelve steps are great for easing and removing the burdens we bear from active addiction. The steps give us an opportunity to re-establish connections with family, friends and loved ones. It allows us the possibility of forgiving ourselves and others as well. 

9. Read the Big Book – Reading the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous is highly recommended. The Big Book is a great spiritual guide. It is not only a guide to getting and staying sober, it is a guide to life. You will find inspiration and motivation. You will also find personal accounts of people that you can relate to. Reading the Big Book in your down time of early recovery can be beneficial. 

10. Build a strong support system with people who are sober – Build friendships and connections with people who support and share the same goal of getting clean and sober. AA or NA meetings and finding a home group is a great place to start. Build from the inside out in early recovery. Eventually you will feel more comfortable with who you are. You will begin to open yourself up to people and branch outside of the recovery community. 

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Kyle Swanson is a freelance writer recovering from drug addiction. He has found purpose in writing for websites such as Medically Assisted and sharing about his experiences. In his free time, he works with his local recovery community in hopes of guiding others to a life of sobriety.

In order to enter recovery successfully and really live a sober life, you need to be ready for a few things. One is, you need to absolutely let go of any control of your life at the moment. It has likely been chaotic at least recently and if you could of fixed it yourself you would have. It’s time to let other people, ones who have your best interest in mind, and whatever forces are in the universe to guide you in life. We call this surrender in recovery and it is the most vital part of getting sober. At the same time, it is also the hardest thing to do when getting sober.

In active addiction we are so locked into what our mind tells us to do that we will do things we never imagined possible. The slow down spiral of addiction (or fast sometimes) makes us slaves to the minds and the mind is exactly where our disease of addiction lies. When we promise others and ourselves that we are going to stop, because its getting out of control, our mind is the voice that tells us its okay to get high just one more time and then stop tomorrow. If you have ever dealt with or are currently dealing with addiction you know exactlywhat I am talking about.

So how do we counteract our sick minds from dominating us? We remove it from the equation. The main reason I personally have been able to stay sober for a few years is because in the beginning, I completely stopped listening to my own ideas about everything. I had relapsed too many times on my own ideas and I was so sick and tired of thinking that I knew what to do and that I was right. I went to treatment, did exactly as I was told, met some great people in an alumni program that was there, and when I left treatment I kept listening to others who had been where I had been before. My first year sober was so incredible because I had given up my will and fully accepted guidance in my life. Any other time I tried myself was such a failure compared to that.

It is also important to find someone in recovery who simply has what you want. Usually we spot this not by words but by actions and how someone carries themselves. After we have surrendered completely, we put it into the hands of whatever is out there to show us someone to now be our teacher. I know, it sounded crazy to me too. To let something out there people were calling ‘god’ or a ‘higher power’, something that I couldn’t see, and to trust it to introduce me to someone who can help save my life. Like I said I was all out of options at that time though, I had nothing to lose, so I trusted whatever is out there will introduce me to someone I need to meet and that’s exactly what happened not more than a day later.

Moments like that are what hooks us into recovery. The hardest part is first putting in the necessary work to get us to that first ‘aha!’ moment. Many people never get to it, go back out to addiction and don’t survive. If you are reading this and are just entering recovery, I beg you, leave the thinking up to somebody else for the time being and see how it goes. Worst case it doesn’t work and you can go back to whatever lifestyle you want. My first year sober was the best year of my life, finally living an honest and meaningful life is the greatest feeling you will ever experience. The hard part is getting there, let someone get you there.

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Daniel W is a writer in recovery from New Jersey who likes to share his experience with others to show that absolutely anyone can get sober provided they are ready to take action