By With February Being the LOVE month…with Valentine’s Day BEing celebrated…by a large number of us…with chocolate covered strawberries, roses, Cupid’s arrow, and those proverbial Hallmark wishes…Let’s Talk About Love!
Let’s talk about Truth…NOW! …BEcause Love is in the air!
I recall a recent interview I gave where I talked about the following.
Our primary relationship is with ourSelf.
When we love ourSelf fully and unconditionally, we throw open the channels between ourSelf and the Divine …Spirit…Source…God to give and receive love.
Got IT?…Get IT?…GREAT!!!
If someone were to ask me: “What is the most difficult challenge that you’ve faced in your life?” …I would unhesitatingly reply:
“In time past…To BE mySelf.”
To BE one’s Self in all situations is often a difficult job that calls for effort, courage and brutal honesty.
But, to BE mySelf, I need to know mySelf. And to know mySelf, I must Love mySelf .
Some may hate to describe themSelves as Self-loving because we have been told
that this is selfish. That there is an element of wantonness in admitting:
“I am a wonderful person and I Love myself”
Ask YourSelf: When I look into the
mirror, am I happy with whom I
see? Do I ever allow my imperfections
to neutralize what is best in me
Do I accept mySelf without conditions?
Dale Carnegie, the best-selling author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, tells the story of a woman, Edith, who, as a child, used to be sensitive, shy and overweight. She never went to parties, never had any fun and always felt that
she was different and undesirable.
Later, she married a man several years her senior. Her in-laws were all outgoing, poised and confident people. But that did not affect Edith’s shyness. She felt she was a failure and feared that if her husband found out the truth, it would be the end of their marriage.
So, Edith put up a show of gaiety, while deep within unhappiness eroded her. One day, she overheard her mother-in-law say, referring to the secret behind her children’s poise and happiness: “No matter what happened, I always insisted on my children being themselves.” Almost overnight Edith changed. She began a
search for herSelf, building on her strong points, accepting without apology
her weaker points.
Striving for authenticity in thought and action is the first mature step in
Self-evolution. We feel alienated from others because we don’t show our real
Self for fear of rejection. The result is internal dissonance. We can connect
with our inner Self only when we peel off all masks. To accept the totality
of our BEing, we must BEcome compassionate towards ourSelves.
Accepting our less than perfectness is an integral part of the human experience; we can then extend this to others. This is true compassion.
The American philosopher, Emerson, makes a valid point in his essay On
Self-Reliance: “There is a time in every man’s education when he
arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide;
that he must take himself for better, for worse, as his portion; that though
the wide universe is full of good, no kernel of nourishing corn can come to him
but through his toil bestowed on that plot of ground which is given to him to
till. The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows
what that is which he can do, nor does
he know until he has tried.”
Ironically, we spend a major part of our lives with a begging bowl, pleading
for love from others. We believe that we will feel better if people love us.
But the love I want BEgins with me. I can experience real love only when I fill mySelf with love…and am willing to give it to others.
The more I give, the more I receive.
All our life’s experiences comprise an endless learning act. We merely need the
willingness. We must all learn to bypass the cacophony of the world to reach
into the silence of our soul. In order to love… in order to BE happy… we must
learn to BE present in each moment.
Don’t keep your happiness on hold.
Hey, Life is not a dress rehearsal.
Now is the only time we have.
If we work for them, all our material
dreams can be achieved. But if what we seek is something beyond, something that endures within us, we must give priority to love and happiness.
We are willing to invest time and money in the pursuit of material gains. But,
we don’t do the same to establish love, happiness and peace of mind. If only
each of us could pray to alleviate the pain and suffering of others, we could
make that vital connection with the real us.
In his book Seat of the Soul, Gary Zukav asks his readers not to pass
value judgment or censure anybody. If we do so, we in turn will be judged by
the universe and penalized accordingly.
Judgments build walls between people,
create hostility. When negative thoughts intrude, break its flow by repeating
to yourSelf words such as love, joy and harmony. Words weave patterns in our
lives. Build up a vocabulary of words that have positive connotations.
Tomorrow really never comes. We have only today, maybe only this fleeting
minute. So let us BE grateful for every moment that comes our way.
Many successful people BEgin and end their day by an act of gratitude. The
universe, God —call it what you will—has been magnanimous with us today.
So let us close our eyes, recall every happy moment that we have experienced,
and thank this power with all our heart. As gratitude and appreciation grow and
fill your Life, you will learn how to sincerely love yourSelf for who you
really are.
There is not a single person in this universe who leads a problem-free life.
Yet we encounter people whose lives appear dynamic and joyous. What sets them apart?
The answer: they do not allow themSelves to be immobilized by little
things. They respond to problems with ease, change things that can be changed
and accept those that can’t. In the process, they come closer to the wisdom of discernment.
Contemporary wisdom would have us believe that packing each day with things
that need to be done is the secret of success. But Life isn’t all about getting
things done as much as it is about enjoying each step along the way. Many a
marital discord erupts from couples’ obsession with getting everything done in
record time and to perfection. If, on the other hand, I ask myself each night:
“Has my Life made a little bit of difference to at least one person?”
…And hear a resounding “Yes!” in reply, all the things I haven’t managed to do over the day would not matter at all.
Remember…
Self love forms the foundation of your single, most important relationship –
that with YourSelf.
The strength of all your other relationships is exactly equal to the strength of that foundation. To love YourSelf is not just a self-esteem boosting piece of advice. It is the prerequisite to truly loving others. The Golden Rule tells us to, “love your neighbour as you love yourself”.
You are likely to have heard it many times, expressed in different ways, thinking it is about loving others.
Look a little closer though, and you willfind that at its very centre is the command to Love YourSElf!
To love yourSelf is to BE in awe of the miracle of your existence. It is to accept yourSelf as you are – the “light” parts and the “dark”, the “good”, and the not so good– while knowing that the real you is above the perceived dualities of the physical realm. It is to be willing to receive as much as you are willing to give and do both equally. It is about knowing your values and your boundaries and honoring them. It is about teaching others how to treat You by showing them how You treat yourSelf. It is about being kind to yourSelf. It is about looking after your mind, your body and your Spirit; all three. It is about knowing You are worth it, not because of what you have achieved or what you look like, or what others think of you, but because Love is your birthright no matter what.
In closing…In this month of hearts and Cupid’s arrows…Ask YourSelf…
Would You BE Your Valentine?
And just in case no one told You today, I love You…And I BElieve in your ability to Fix Your Reflection First…And Live Your Best Life Ever!
To YOU Loving YOU!
With Love & Blessings!
Rhonda??
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Rhonda M. Farrah, MA, DRWA, a LIFEstyle Empowerment Alchemist, Coach and prominent figure
in personal development, has dedicated her years of insights as a psychotherapist to be a guiding light for women facing unique challenges, helping them embark on a transformative journey of Self- discovery and Empowerment.
In a world where external issues often command our attention, Rhonda Farrah stands out as a catalyst for inner growth with her mantra, “Fix Your Reflection First.” A beacon of hope for women who find themselves trapped in the throes of personal turmoil, be it in relationships, careers, or daily life.
Through her extensive career and profound dedication, Rhonda Farrah has spearheaded the Fix Your Reflection First method of realizing that both the joys and the setbacks in your life can serve you IF you can look past your immediate emotional response and use your Self-awareness to grow instead of pushing yourself down. Farrah’s holistic approach centers on Self-reflection and the restoration of Self-love as the cornerstone of personal growth and Change.
As a seasoned author, Empowerment Alchemist coach, speaker, entrepreneur, spiritual teacher, and educator, Rhonda has cultivated an extensive toolkit designed to assist individuals in addressing the challenges that hold them back and embracing the joys that propel them forward. Working with clients and companies from International Centers For Spiritual Living to the US Open Wellness Team, Rhonda’s teachings emphasize harnessing Self-awareness and leveraging life’s setbacks as opportunities for growth rather than obstacles.
Rhonda’s mission is to Empower women to prioritize their Self-love and Self-awareness, nurturing a profound alignment that positively influences every facet of their lives. Her work fosters a renewed sense of confidence and a hunger for personal growth, igniting a powerful journey of Self-discovery. Having written several e-books, Rhonda has participated as a Contributing Author to America’s Heroes, Leaders, Legends, The Power Of The Human Spirit, and America’s Leading Ladies Who Positively Impact Our World, featuring Oprah Winfrey and Melinda Gates.
Please click here for Rhonda’s group coaching.