By David Allen, author of Life According to the Soul
Alcoholism, alcoholic and addiction are all terms that we understand well but they aren’t a helpful description of such behaviour, even my book The Sophisticated Alcoholic, uses the term because of its widely recognised effects and associations. However, in the same manner as a drug associated, sex associated, or gambling or some other behavioural extreme, we are essentially dealing with a behaviour that isn’t consciously wanted but is emotionally needed.
The book explains and explores a completely new approach to, not just supressing the behaviour, but to eliminate the excesses of it and the damage that comes with it.
Before we get into the detail here’s what people have said about the book.
- Dr James Kustow BMBS MRCPsych | Consultant Psychiatrist.
- This book challenges the current model of understanding alcohol addiction and provides both renewed hope and practical ways forward to promote real and permanent change.
- Ed Mitchell | Former ITN Newsreader and Journalist. Author of From Headlines to Hard Times.
- The Sophisticated Alcoholic is a welcome addition to the literature on excessive and addictive drinking. The book is aimed at those who know they are drinking too much, want to drink less and need to find out how. Its pragmatic, practical and optimistic approach to alcoholism is a useful counterweight to those who take the view that alcoholic addiction cannot be reversed but can only be held in abeyance by abstinence and a lifetime of regular attendance at self-help groups. It takes the view that the disease model of alcoholism is defeatist, irresponsible and wrong (and depressing). Central to the book is the argument that changing beliefs and perceptions is at the heart of tackling excessive and damaging drinking. Changes in perception are most effective at the unconscious level using hypnotherapy. The aim is to completely change a person’s relationship with alcohol so that it is no longer important. It has useful step-by-step guides and an illuminating section on the importance of spiritual enlightenment. The book offers the refreshing and optimistic view that everyone can change — you are not a slave to your genes or an incurable disease.
- Anna Jedrziewski | inannaworks.com
- Allen extensively explores modern concepts about alcoholism and its treatment. He acknowledges both modalities that parallel his, and those that are at least partially contradictory in approach. As the child of an alcoholic, and someone who monitors her relationship with alcohol because of that, I found this book to provide new and thought-provoking insight into the problem. It is much more innately hopeful than most of the literature in the field. It is clear, however, that a serious commitment to do the work is necessary for the program to be effective. This is not a program for dabblers.
What is an Alcoholic?
Why do I drink so much and why is it so difficult to stop?
And many other questions perhaps including, am I an alcoholic? Are there different types of alcoholic? How does it start? Can it ever end? Why can some people take it or leave it and I can’t….. and perhaps more? The question that may be uppermost in your mind might well be will this book make any difference or is it just another made up approach for something that cannot be truly cured, if indeed it is an illness?
I hope that all these questions will be answered but it’s important for you to establish where you fit in the ‘drinking too much’ scenario so I’ll begin there.
This is my definition of alcoholic behaviour:
- If you cannot stop…
- a compulsive behaviour that is destructive in some way exceeding levels you know to be generally acceptable exceeding levels acceptable to those close to you
- …then you are addicted
If your substance of choice happens to be alcohol, then you are an alcoholic. If the term ‘Alcoholic’ makes you feel uncomfortable and you would rather describe yourself in some other way that is less severe, then do that because the name doesn’t matter. If you disagree with this definition, then that’s fine as I’m sure there are many others to choose from and ironically the definition itself perhaps doesn’t matter either. What is important is you know you drink too much, and you know that you can’t stop behaving that way. So, the question is how do you begin to deal with such a problem?
What Causes Alcoholism?
You may not be surprised to learn that, other than the quite obvious ‘drinking too much alcohol’ there is no agreed cause of this behaviour within the generally accepted participants of the conventional establishment. Equally there is also no generally accepted ‘cure’. In fact, the prevailing and widely accepted hypothesis is that there is no ‘cure’, just a management strategy and whilst a management strategy might be necessary for some it doesn’t presume to ‘cure’ and in any case there is no reason why one cannot do both. One seeks to contain, and the approach presented here seeks to eliminate.
The reason why something else is needed, why it is important to look at addictive behaviour in a different light is that the conventional approach doesn’t work well enough or often enough for us to be satisfied with it and presents an uncertain future for even those whom it has helped.
The conventional approach to alcohol addiction and other similarly destructive addictions is to supress the behaviour entirely in much the same way as dealing with a fear of flying. Just don’t do it. It works but it doesn’t fix the problem. If the reasons to quit disappear or the emotional drivers of the behaviour increase, then falling off the wagon is the result, and a very regular one with this approach. Relapse is always present, but if the drivers of the behaviour are removed then the behaviour goes right along with them.
If alcoholism, alcohol dependency, heavy drinking, binge drinking by any name you care to use isn’t your fault then how can you possibly recover? If it is in your genes, how can you change that? If it’s just the alcohol that is the beginning, middle and end of the problem what can you possibly do to remove it from your life?
This is how our society treats alcoholics. No wonder then, that alcoholism is seen as untreatable; with abstinence and total support being the only way for people to rejoin a meaningful and constructive life. What a depressing scenario. It turns out that alcoholism has very little to do with alcohol, or to put it another way, it’s not the substance driving the behaviour; for gambling is intensely addictive, and there is no substance involved.
The’groundbreaking’ realisation that led me into years of helping people with this problem was that if it isn’t the substance then what is driving the damaging behaviour and once that has been realised then the road to finding out what, suddenly appears. So, ok, one caveat. Those who rely on alcohol morning noon and night to function and whose bodies have adapted to processing alcohol rather than food are physically addicted to the substance and medication is necessary to break that cycle. However, that is the extreme end. Once the physical addiction has been mitigated, the search for the cause remains.
The Real Reasons for Addictive Behaviour.
Alcohol starts as being the cure not the problem.
It is a fundamental truth that people drink for a reason and for those who do so to excess and who cannot change their behaviour it works or else they just wouldn’t use it. The desire to drink is a feeling, at times strong enough to be a craving which is often strong enough to take precedence over all other things until it is sated.
This fact is highly material because if feelings determine behaviour, then what feelings are they? Could there be more than one, could they be described, might there be feelings underneath or behind the strongest of feelings we could call a craving? If we could find a way of limiting or removing those feelings would that modify behaviour? If it did, is there a way of preventing the feelings from occurring ever again? As we know that desire is a feeling, it seems quite bizarre that society views suppression of the feelings as the way to go, rather than the removal of them.
If one were to be so presumptuous as to ask the question, why do you drink so much? One might get the response that “it’s because I like it”. Those who have come to the decision that they do drink too much, don’t use that justification because of the changed parameters of their circumstances, but for those that do, one might want to consider that likes and dislikes are really just a function of perception. if you believe you like/dislike something then you will retain that position unless and until something happens to change your view.
Feelings are emotions and emotions drive behaviour. Social constructs encourage alcohol consumption because one wants to fit in; to be a part of the group and that’s a powerful emotion. Unhappiness and happiness, celebrations encourage alcohol use as does a feeling of loneliness or low self-esteem.
The next question is, what drives these emotions, particularly negative ones and that answer to that is belief. Beliefs that reside in your core belief structure, about self, about worth and they are the fundamental beliefs you hold about yourself. The book describes ways to change negative core beliefs using hypnosis and EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) but these aren’t the only ways to change core beliefs, however, when you do, the emotions driven by those beliefs no longer manifest and disappearing along with them is the need to indulge in damaging behaviour.
The book is for people who want to change an unwanted behaviour. It describes in detail how and why this happens and how to fundamentally change things permanently.