An Excerpt from The Karma Queens Guide to Relationships, By Dr. Carmen Harra, PhD and Alexandra Harra

tn_TheKarmaQueens_coverReprinted from THE KARMA QUEENS’ GUIDE TO RELATIONSHIPS by Carmen Harra, PhD, and Alexandra Harra, by arrangement with Tarcher, a member of the Penguin Publishing Group, a Penguin Random House Company, Copyright © 2015.

The doors of infinite possibilities open when you acknowledge your karma and heal or resolve it. There are three truths about karma you must accept: that it is the accumulation of every thought, intention, and action from this and prior lifetimes; that it can always be healed; and that healing requires action.

The First Truth About Karma: Karma is the accumulation of every thought, intention, and action from this and prior lifetimes.

Whatever actions you take have lasting effects because everything in the universe is energy and everything is connected in the field of energy. It’s like what happens when you drop a stone into a pool of still water: ripples emanate. You can watch them move outward, rocking a small stick on the water’s surface and changing the reflection of the sky on the water. All of your actions send waves of energy outward, affecting others in ways greater than you can imagine. Some actions create bad karma because you are hurting others, whether you know it or not. But if your actions are loving and kind, and make others feel happy, at peace, loved, and valued, then you are generating excellent karma. Having a clean karmic record frees your spirit.

You can’t always see the far-reaching, long-lasting effects of karma you’ve generated, but the memory becomes part of the consciousness of the individuals involved as well as part of the collective consciousness of the universe that our individual minds are connected to. The parent who couldn’t express unconditional love to you when you were a baby created bad karma, which was stored in you as a memory that may have been forgotten by your conscious mind but was held in your unconscious mind and your body’s energy field, and even etched into your brain. This subconscious memory can resurface at any given moment if the right situation presents itself.

You see, each time you experience a thought or emotion, neurons in your brain fire off electrical impulses that create or reinforce dendrites, or arms, that reach from one neuron to another. You reuse this neural network or path because it’s easier than creating a new one. But if the old path is the path of jealousy, vindictiveness, distrust, or anxiety, you’ll experience those feelings, and thoughts that support them, habitually unless you forge a new path. The karma you create by not being honest with yourself and your partner, by not working through the real problems, accumulates. Again and again, you find yourself being uncomfortable and challenged to resolve your karma. Bridges must be burned to erect new ones.

The Second Truth About Karma: Karma can always be healed.

Changing your karma is far easier and more sensible than trying to change other people. Transforming karma is difficult and requires much time and effort. First, however, you have to become aware of it. That means allowing yourself to feel embarrassed or even ashamed and defensive. Your ego will try to keep you from admitting that you play a role in all your problems. It’s easier to blame your spouse, your daughter, your parent, or your coworker. Deep down, perhaps you will feel a twinge of guilt when you vent about someone who upset you. Pay attention to that feeling and listen to that voice inside that says, “Yes, but what about what you did?” It is impossible to control what others do, but if you master your karma you can control how you feel, act, and think. This, in turn, will affect how others behavior toward you.

And second, you have to remain aware of your karma, or you will find yourself on the wrong road, thinking, “How did I get here? I meant to go somewhere else!” You must develop the habit of being both mindful and reflective. If you are constantly thinking about tomorrow or last week, or what happened ten years ago or what might happen “if only that person would change,” you’re not being mindful of how you are perpetuating your karma.

Third, you have to understand your karma’s nature and origins. In this way, you can appreciate why it’s so powerful and become more accepting of yourself and others. It is not easy to change karma, so don’t harshly judge yourself or the people you care about. As you’ll learn, your karma may have been created in a previous lifetime and carried over to this one—it may even be so strong that you’ve held on to it for several lifetimes with little or no awareness.tn_photo1_AHCH

You can become aware of your karma and commit yourself to creating new, good karma that heals old, bad karma, but you have to do more than intend to change your habits; you actually have to change your habits….”


Carmen Harra, PhD, is a licensed clinical psychologist, intuitive counselor, and author of seven books, including The Karma Queens’ Guide to Relationships and the bestselling Everyday Karma. Her daughter Alexandra Harra is a certified life coach, and a regular contributor to The Huffington Post and to Dr. Harra speaks from experience when she says that there are practical ways to meet the challenges of resolving karma that cause our relationships to become complicated and painful. In their new book, The Karma Queens reveal the secret to transforming the karma in all of your relationships—with lovers, spouses, family and friends. And it illuminates what you can do to change your karma so you can attract or keep your soul mate. For more information, go to and