Secrets of Love is a hybrid docu-film on the evolution of love and keys to sustaining long lasting and deeply fulfilling relationships. Below is a copy of an interview with the Executive Producer of Secrets of Love, Jane Gehr., M.A.
1. Why did you make Secrets of Love?
Secrets Of Love came as an invitation from a producer friend, Bill Wade, whom I met at the Self-Realization Fellowship in 08, during my volunteer work there. At that time, I had been in an intense personal inner journey myself, towards greater and more unconditional loving. In a much synchronistic way, I had also just recently finished writing a living vision in which conscious media production was the creative color that poured out of my soul onto my co-creative canvas. My heart was open and filled with awe at the realization that my ability to expand in my love towards “the other”, was directly related to my ability to love and accept myself for all that I ever was, am and will ever be. I had been working diligently to uncover the unconscious programming that had been in great part limiting my mental clarity, influencing my emotional body and hindering my ability to tap into my higher Self for the wisdom bank that patiently awaited my next level of awakening to this newer reality and way of being. I was also writing my first book, which was an exceptional transformational exercise that facilitated much of my inner growth at that time, and as I opened and expanded through letting go of unconscious limiting fears, I could feel the Universe quickly responding with great support, sometimes in the form of synchronies and spiritual epiphanies and other times as vision manifestation, of which Secrets Of Love was a perfect example. It wasn’t even three months into the writing of my living vision that the invitation came in complete alignment with my soul’s unique direction and so, I surrendered at the sight of my own destiny unfolding and joined Bill on this extraordinary and rewarding journey through love.
2. Who are the presenters in Secrets of Love and what was it like working with them?
Secrets Of Love Features Catherine Oxenberg and Casper Van Dien’s personal love story and the gauntlet they’ve had to endure to come out on the other side reborn into a new love reality much stronger than they had known. Their dramatic story is weaved through the wisdom teachings of many of our ancient and contemporary masters on the topic of love and consciousness, including Marianne Williamson, Deepak Chopra, John Gray, Dr. John Hagelin, Kathlyn and Gay Hendricks, Daphne Kingma, Dannion Brinkley, Dr. Greg Baer, Marci Shimoff and ten more and it is hosted by CNN & Today’s Love Doc Dr. Brenda Wade.
Unquestionably, the blessing of being a part of such journey like the making of Secrets Of Love, lies greatly in the joy of spending time and sharing in the positive energy field of such a potent group of beings who have mastered the art of teaching higher consciousness each in their own unique “language” and style, in service to furthering the evolutionary impulse of our planet.
3. What do you think viewers will learn from Secrets of Love?
1- What are the three stages of love relationships?
In Secrets of Love we learn that relationships have the potential to go through three stages: Attraction, Awareness and Communion. The first stage of attraction is where you see traits in another that you desire, and so you want more of that person around you.
The second stage is called second awareness or attention. In this stage a greater sense of appreciation is developed. Affection, caring and an ability to listen to the other is more present. We start sensing not only with the flesh but also with the mind and soul and so we perceive particular values in the other that no other can perceive.
The third and final potential stage of a relationship is communion. This stage is characterized by the absence of judgment, equality, empathy, integrity, intimacy, transparency, honesty, and truth. It is the ultimate communion on a soul-to-soul level.
2- What are some of the greatest myths on love?
The greatest myth about loving relationships is that when you believe you have found your potential soul mate that everything now should be roses and that all should now go right all the time. The truth is that even the most well aligned partnerships will bring within their dynamic a spectrum of potential opportunities for growth, commonly referred to as challenges. These challenges will show up to allow us to redefine and continually reframe our belief systems and offer chances to reacquaint with whom we are or who we are wishing to become. They can also be seen as opportunities to make new choices while revisiting an old decision, event or perspective.
Another great myth about love is that trust should be automatic. The truth is that trust is a journey as well, and that each one of us has our own particular threshold for trusting, that within healthy levels, can be nurtured and strengthened with the passing of time. Trust issues can also be seen as an opportunity to observe ourselves in integrity between our words and actions as trustworthy and consistently reliable partners, even if we already thought ourselves to be.
Whatever the challenge may be, it is most important to keep in mind that this is an invitation from Spirit to take our soul’s frequency to the next level of activation in service to our highest good.
3- How can we discern true from false love?
The easiest way to discern between true and false love is to observe the way we relate to love. If our general predisposition to relating through love is still conditioned by the collective hypnosis and madness of ego-based social programming, we may be biased to believe that we are truly in love when someone we have fun with, also satisfies our needs, flatters our ego, excites us and looks very attractive or is very successful. That perspective is what Dr. Greg Baers, in Secrets Of Love, calls imitation love. It is nothing but an approach to love as a commodity.
Within true love lays a completely different way of relating. True love potential can only exist within a framework of values that seek to provide the individual with a richer inner life and a window to each other’s souls. In true love all imitation love criteria have no inherent preset value, even if they happen to be present. A true lover’s primary impulse it to see and be seen and accepted in depth for whom they truly are. True love seeks real intimacy, transparency and authenticity. It demands a high level of honesty and courage since it is the greatest catalyst for transformation.
True love moves us and inspires us in ways that we have never experienced before. It fills us with courage to go to the inner places we had not yet explored in order to fulfill our destiny. The potential for true love makes us feel like we have moved one step closer to Spirit and that we can now truly exist as more divine beings. It fills us with a sense of greater purpose and a greater desire to be more, to co-create, to give abundantly and to love unconditionally.
4- What are the most important things to have in order to attract true love into our lives?
In its deepest core and simplest understanding, true love holds the frequency of unconditional positive regard, unwavering truth, a great dose of self-awareness and the absence of judgment. The closer we get to living within these frequencies, the better our chances are to attract a partnership that will fit that wavelength. This world is one of resonance and the more we awaken to that awareness the more we will be empowered to co-create and manifest all the love and beauty we want to have in our lives; as our dearest Ghandi has dared reminded us, we do need to become that which we seek in the world. Some of the qualities that will most align ourselves with the frequency of true love would naturally be those such as honesty, transparency, self-awareness, self-acceptance, self-love, courage, ability for intimacy, vulnerability, authenticity, a love of service and an open and compassionate heart.
There truly is nothing more attractive in an encounter than meeting an authentic, self-aware, self-accepting, truthful and transparently honest being with a bright smile that reflects that inner peace and confidence that is present only in those who have braved going within to sort the truth from the illusion and uncover the love and the sheer divine miracle that they really are.
5- What is true intimacy and how do we develop it?
True intimacy is a frequency-state that signals the presence of truth, honesty and transparency between two individuals. True intimacy is felt as a profound sense of connection between lovers or friends and it is only possible when we know who we are and we allow ourselves to be known/seen under clear light. Intimacy is present when in the acceptance of ourselves we feel received and accepted by the other. Our ego defenses are no longer needed and any and all masks are dropped. Authenticity and a comfortable sense of vulnerability and transparency are the hallmarks of true intimacy. Differently than many may think, Intimacy is not of the body, in fact intimacy is an aspect of the soul. It demands courage, but the rewards of living a soulful life are innumerable and immeasurable. However, many of us have felt at times challenged by these ideas because they are so threatening to the ego. Our fears of being seen for who we really are stem from not only a misperception of ourselves, but also from an underlying system of beliefs that have been long programmed and conditioned subconsciously by cultural, familial, historical as well as personal “shadow material”. Naturally, in order to develop greater capacity for intimacy, we have to be able to recognize the root cause of our fears and which belief system is creating them. Further it is necessary to replace those beliefs with more accurate ones reflecting a more current level of consciousness and clarity about reality then the ones that were subconsciously created or passed down unquestioned early in life. Through this process we are finally able to unblock the channels that will lead us to experience that so talked about ecstatic embrace that only true intimacy can bring.
In simplest terms “Shadow Material” is the stuff that we like to keep inside the “closet”. It is the unconscious content that we have protected from others and kept hidden from the light because it is too scary to bring out. Shadow material includes some of the most difficult things we may yet need to accept about ourselves before we can overcome in order to evolve. Some of them include any type of addictions, compulsions, and all that “negative” side of our personality that we would rather not deal with. Our shadow can be personal as well as collective. All that which we have been taught to be taboo, or forbidden to talk about either by our family, our religion or our historical heritage is absorbed as shadow from the collective. All our repressed desires, aspirations and dreams are also part of our shadow material. It is a most important and yet poorly understood aspect of ourselves, which, if we do not understand, accept and integrate we are doomed to remain a “victim” to its influence in our behavior, feelings and actions for as long as it will. Our resistance and fear of our own shadow or “dark side” is what keeps us feeling separate, alone and out of synch with love. Working with our shadow material is so important as it is a clearing of the path to love in all its forms. Shadow work enhances our capacity for self-love and from there expands in all directions as wide and far as we can integrate it and bring it to conscious awareness in order to heal it.
7- What are the most common causes of conflict within loving relationships and how can we best resolve them?
By definition conflict is a discord of action or feeling; an antagonism or opposition of interest or principles; an incompatibility of idea or desire with another. The source of many surface conflicts can usually be traced back to unclear or inept type of communication, which can lead to misinterpretation and in turn can cause confusion and entanglement. Fortunately, these types of conflicts are easier to address, harmonize and avoid though exercising more clear communication skills and practicing non-violent communication. However, the deepest and most serious forms of conflict stem from our core fears. These core fears are the root cause of our inability to commit to truth, integrity, and higher values that require a certain internal level of coherency for which we need to let go of our fears in order to develop. Our fears hold us back from all that which love needs to be whole and real. They hold us back from revealing our most intimate selves for fear of rejection; it stops us from telling the truth for fear of judgment, it prevents us from being consistent between our thoughts and actions to create greater integrity, also as a consequence of fears which are deeply rooted in the ignorance of Self and the true nature of our reality. At the core level, one needs to escape the limiting confines of our pragmatic outlook on life and be willing to dive deeper into understanding our subtler reality to fully comprehend our true nature and finally liberate ourselves from the grip of a finite fear-based material reality and into a most infinite and blissful one.
8- What are intimate relationships a “mirror” for?
Relationships are mirrors to how we relate to ourselves, the world and to God as well. The same underlying rules, judgments and premises that drive our “reasoning” and decision making, however consciously or not, are, by default, running all other programs as well. With that in mind, your relationship dynamics style can be used as a source of insight into your inner reality and the way you relate with yourself and the world around you.
The Twin-Flame relationship is the highest humanly attainable form of earthly love within relationships. It has been considered by some as the next up-level of the Soul-Mate relationship in its ultimate form. Soul-mates have been long described as a relationship that connects body, mind and soul and it serves as an evolutionary step towards our own divinity. Because the soul transcends lifetimes, usually meeting a soul-mate feels like we somehow have known them all along…There’s an unexplainable sense of familiarity and a feeling of timelessness. Sex becomes much more than a physical act and takes a more sacred and ritualistic form and a profound sense of connection with our divinity becomes more present. Some of these relationships have the ability to produce high states of consciousness and peak experiences can be common during love-making. It is believed however, that the twin-soul relationship potential comes about when two souls are ready and have done the preparation work that clears and brings to light most of all aspects of the personality that needed to be integrated into the fullness of the soul-self. It is believed that our twin-flame walks into our lives when we are ready and have found within ourselves that centered inner-peace and quietude. When we feel balanced, experience gratitude, self-love, easiness to forgive and feel a sense of the divine at play in our life. When that moment happens the couple may still have a little more work to do on the self, but there’s abundant reserve of energy left to co-create and there’s a strong felt calling to be of service together in the world. Life then becomes more fluid, synchronicities abound, magic happened and we become a beacon of light and inspiration for all others to appreciate and learn from.
10- What is the relationship between Love and Spirit?
Love and Spirit are one and the same. However you may choose to call the Source of all that is. Be it God, The Universe, Supreme Being, Divine Source, Life Force or Holy Spirit, It represents the ultimate manifest and transcending consciousness state of perfection in Love and all the supreme qualities it represents. In simple terms, Spirit is Love in its purest, highest and ultimate state and true Love is how we recognize Spirit in action in its manifest form throughout creation.
11- What is Love’s true greatest purpose?
Love as we know here in our limited capacities as we volunteer into this human experience, serves as the greatest, most powerful catalyst towards soul evolution. Love is the most powerful motivating force in the universe. That’s why when we “fall”, or better yet, “Rise in Love” we feel intoxicated by the high states in which that frequency vibration delivers us before our shadow material comes into play. The unparalleled appeal and lure of that wonderfully rare intoxication that is so extraordinary is what motivates us to work on ourselves and to muster the courage to bring our darkness into the light. It is that subliminal promise of someday being able to sustain those higher states along our evolutionary path that gives us the strength necessary to endure the gauntlet of purification towards a more enduring and enchanted Love. One of the primary awakenings a person can have is that which reveals a window to see ourselves as souls venturing in this wonderful experiment called Love. We gain greater perspective and joy when we learn to navigate through relationships and life with investigative soul-eyes. We then see everything that presents itself as another chance to get to know ourselves better, make new choices, and take responsibility as co-creators with Spirit while we continue to renew our vows to leave our “helpless victim” perspective behind.
To watch the trailer for Secrets of Love and purchase the DVD, please visit http://secretsoflove.tv/.