Losing a loved one is a life changing experience, and the accompanying grief is different for every person. How you grieve is usually effected by your spirituality, your personality, and life experience. Healing happens gradually, it can’t be forced or hurried, and time needs to pass for healing to begin. For some people time means weeks, but for others it can mean years.
Some people believe if you ignore grief if will go away. That is false. Feeling grief and sadness, and facing the pain will help you to heal faster than if you deny your awful feelings. Some people feel they need to put on a strong face when dealing with loss. This is also not true. Feeling lonely, heartbroken, or sad is a completely normal reaction to loss. You don’t need to put on a brave face to protect anyone. Showing how you really feel can help.
Grieving is a very individual process. What may help one person move on may not work for another. Try to keep in mind that all of your reactions are natural, and you will in time start to feel better.
In coping with loss there are things you can do to help yourself. Facing your feelings and taking care of yourself can help. Minimize any expectations of your feelings, and don’t let anyone tell you how you are supposed to feel. It can also be helpful to plan ahead for triggers of grief like milestones or anniversaries.
Create a space in your house as a place to pray or reflect with objects that remind you of the person you lost. Arrange the objects in a way that honor your loved one who passed. These mementos can include pictures, possessions that were special to your loved one, or anything that brings the loved one’s essence to mind. Use this space to reconnect with the loved one’s spirit during the times you miss them most, and use them to talk to your loved one so you can resolve the feelings of them being gone, or even write them a letter. Let them hear your words. Pray, scream, reflect, cry, do what you need to do to connect with the one you love. Most importantly, be open to the spirit of your loved one.
Allow your loved one’s spirit to comfort you when they visit in your dreams. Spirits have an easier time contacting you when you are asleep. Try to remain open to the experience, and I am sure they will tell you some of the things you have needed to know to heal. Some spirits linger longer after death than others. It is easier to contact them sooner after death. Allow the spirit of your loved one to comfort and nurture you so that you can adjust to your new reality on this plane of existence.
If you cannot contact to your loved ones spirit on your own sometimes finding someone who is sensitive to the afterlife can be helpful. Follow all the directions of the sensitive person and allow the final connection with your loved ones spirit to help you move through the grief. Follow their aftercare advice as well for connecting with the spirit of a loved one can be quite a moving experience.
Everyone grieves in their own way, on their own timetable. Staying connected to the loved one who passed may be possible but make sure you are moving ahead with your life on this plane as you honor the loved ones who have passed.