By Timothy Victor
“Being kind is a choice. Once we make this choice, we begin connecting. This connection is the source of our happiness.” – Timothy Victor
Are You Happy?
Harvard university studies on kindness and happiness have revealed a profound connection between these two concepts. Is being kind part of your personality? The way you think, feel, and behave in your life?
The Harvard studies define a kind personality as having the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate. This combination of who we are improves happiness.
According to the Harvard studies when we fit this profile we are likely to create happiness in our life. Those of this profile will reduce social anxiety and increase their social connectedness.
Living a life of kindness strengthens social bonds, creating a sense of belonging, a major component of our happiness, while fostering gratitude,and mutual respect. Engaging in acts of kindness has been consistently shown to boost personal happiness in the Havard studies.
Extensive research from positive psychology, neuroscience, and social studies provides strong evidence that practicing kindness has enduring effects on our happiness.
I would like to share at this point, an understanding of kindness. That comes from my years of personal experiences. I am 72 in this year of 2026.
Being Kind is a Choice
Like many other choices we make in life, being kind is also a choice we may choose to make. Being kind becomes a way of life when we make this choice. That cultivates our connection to each other and the Divine.
Being kind creates a connection between us humans. It is this connection that creates happiness.
Acts of Kindness
Acts of kindness can be subtle, such as a smile, or a sincere compliment. It can be simply holding a door for someone as you enter or leave a store.It can be being patient or compassionate.
You may choose to volunteer, or offer to help a neighbor with their yardwork, or nurture a kind personality by helping in any way life presents an opportunity.
Being kind is a way of life if you choose to make it so. Greet those near you, with a smile, nod, or a friendly hello. Practice having a soft glance that projects warmth, and mutual respect.
Kindness cultivates our connection to each other and the Divine.
Kindness Boundaries
We all need to have boundaries in our life. That allows us to be comfortable in whatever social situation or relationships we are in. Having boundaries with our expression of kindness is a reality we must face.
It is far better to prepare ourselves mentally for this reality, than suddenly having to awkwardly deal with those who are not so kind.
Unfortunately some of us humans have an unkind agenda.These are the predators, on many levels. There are also those who seek to control, and those who seek to manipulate for their personal gain.
This is said not to discourage you. But to remind you such people do exist.
The key to expressing spiritual kindness is not wanting anything in return. To remain true to this rule and you will avoid being disappointed.
Boundaries are simply ways to guide others to know how they are allowed to treat you. In this case how others are allowed to respond to your gift of kindness.
It is kind to see the good in everyone while not closing your eyes to whatever else is there.
Be Honest
In mental health circles, I statements are an excellent discipline to assert yourself in any situation or relationship. This is an effective way to tell others what you are comfortable with, as well as what you are not comfortable with.
Avoid using the pronoun you when making a negative comment, as in you could do more to finish these chores, as opposed to, I would appreciate more help doing the chores.
It is likely to start an argument, using that pronoun. Others are likely to feel a confrontation coming on. I statements are assertive and can avoid hurting anyone’s feelings.
There are two main types of boundaries, flexible and rigid. An example of a flexible boundary is you saying I need some time to myself or I would prefer having dinner with you on Friday instead of Saturday.
An example of a rigid boundary is I am not interested in spending time with anyone who imposes their will on me or I feel my kindness is being taken as a weakness.
Try to be kind to everyone. Try to care about everyone. But if the need arises to empower yourself, know you have the right to be comfortable in every situation and relationship.
Osmosis Kindness
Harvard university recognizes a phenomenon known as osmosis kindness. Their studies have found kindness can be contagious. This is based on the fact that children as well as adults imitate behavior.
When exposed to examples of kindness, over the course of time, children as well as adults will express kindness.
Acknowledge the Kindness
I was shopping recently in a grocery store and reaching for an item just beyond my reach, someone stepped in and handed it to me. I spontaneously said thank you, you’re very kind as I looked into her eyes.
Her whole face lit up. It was a delightful happy moment. Me acknowledging she was being kind meant so much more than a simple thank you.
Recently a physical ailment required me to use a cane which resulted in many people holding a door for me as I entered and exited stores. It amazed me to see the happiness on their faces when I acknowledged their kindness.
It is curious how anxious people are to be kind and how happy they were when their kindness was acknowledged. Me telling them they were kind made that connection of the kindness more meaningful than a simple thank you.
When we do, kindness connects us. This connection produces happiness.
Core Virtues
At the heart of all teachings, like in Christianity, kindness is a core virtue. It is also a core virtue in Islam, Buddhism, Judaism, and Hinduism. To me this is a wonderful fact that these major belief systems agree.
Keep in mind: Being kind does connect us and brings happiness into our lives and the lives of others.
Keep in mind that kindness is contagious. Whenever we are kind it inspires others to do the same.
Author Bio
Timothy Victor, is a spiritual writer of three self help books. He rebuilt his life from a blank slate, after total amnesia and an ego regression. By experiencing the connection to his inner child, he discovered that Total Acceptance is the gateway to self awareness, mutual equality, spiritual acceptance of ourselves, and of others, while choosing love over ego.
Website: https://authortimothyvictor.com/