By Victoria Contoret
Relations with people are the main and inexhaustible source of life practice. Some of them bring us joy, others bring sadness. There are attitudes that frustrate us. We might also face people who are angry at us. A whole palette of emotions and sensations of human life passes through the neck of the relationship. And our relationship with loved and the closest ones play a particularly significant role in the process of the shaping of ourselves.
I’m talking about relationship within the family, primarily with parents, children, partners. Then follow the relationship with our friends, colleagues at work. I am also talking about family relationships in a broader sense of the family, such as for instance relationship with relatives. Very often distant relatives are very close to us, and close relatives are so far away that we almost cannot communicate with them.
I do not know anyone who lived a life without experiencing any kind of controversies or conflict with people who surround us. Relationships are a vital component, dynamic and constantly evolving. Therefore it is very important to realize that our sense of happiness and harmony depends on peace in our family, harmonious and balanced relations with our environment in a direct proportion.
I want to consider the option, when relations undergo crises, when they collapse, do not work out. Why is it ever happening? What’s the reason? Why is there a misunderstanding between people and how to get rid of this misunderstanding and of the thoughts that are constantly coming back to these situations of misunderstanding and make our life unhappy?
There is a solution that I tried on myself and I want to share it with you. This solution is called “Distance of ecological communication”. Differences and similarities of people are key elements in understanding why certain relationships work, while others do not, why some people please us, and others make us feel sad. Here I do not mean the similarities and differences of people referring to their age, material status, social level, education, geography or language.
The basic principle by which we differ is Awareness. In the assessment and resolution of conflict situations, as a rule, the factor of Awareness is not taken into account as a measuring category of human characteristics. The lack of comprehension that we are all alike and different in the category of Awareness is often leading us either to deadlock situations or to long-lasting conflicts in our relationships. We are people, and all of us have a different level of awareness. If two people, whose levels of awareness are very different, try to build close relationships, then this practically never can lead to a positive result. Nonetheless, on the other hand, all people can communicate with each other in a friendly and peaceful manner in the way that the difference in the level of awareness is taken into consideration.
Relations are built in harmony when consciously or unconsciously we keep the Distance of Eco-Friendly Communication. What am I talking about?
At the core of the relationship lays communication. Communication between two entities is always the transfer and obtainment of information between these entities. Information can be expressed in verbal and written form, with a look, a movement or a hint. Whatever form of relationship is it, they will be healthy and long-term, if two people have in their relationship a finely-clocked distance of ecological communication.
Eco-friendly communication where two subjects can interact, i.e. transfer information to each other, without any misunderstandings and emotional attacks of aggression. I can describe this distance in communication through the concept of the word “eco-friendly” – it is not harmful to anyone, not harmful to yourself, capable to act and develop dynamically.
If our relations are in the zone of ecological communication with members of our family, then peace and harmony reign within our family hearth. As soon as there is not enough distance in communication that allows ecological communication to take place, the relations start to fall apart. The more roughly the distance of ecological communication is surpassed, the sharper will be the manifestation of mutual hostility, the more often and intensely you will face the signs of mutual rejection and the sharper will be the conflict. The importance of maintaining a distance of ecological communication is determined by the following components:
Human relationships are the main source of joy or sadness for everyone;
You cannot build all the relationships following the same template;
Healthy relationships are based on properly built communication;
Correctly focused communication is determined through the diagnosis of the level of awareness and the determination of the distance of ecological communication;
Surpassing of the distance of ecological communication leads to stress in relations and conflicts;
Any people can coexist peacefully if the distance of ecological communication is set up correctly;
Peace in the family depends on the correct adjustment of the distance of ecological communication between all members of the family in pairs;
Peace in the soul and happy relationships are the source of health, longevity, and prosperity in all the scopes. When the relations are peaceful, harmonious and bringing joy, we never think about why these relations are so, what has led them to the harmonious state and how it turned out that they work out in such a wonderful way by themselves. Nonetheless, when relations begin to fall apart, distort or break, we begin to think about the reasons why this happens in our lives.
So, for each of us, relationships are important, each of us has the experience of good and bad relationships. Each of us takes a good relationship, both this and the due and each of us tries to establish a bad relationship if they suddenly arise.
Relations with people are a core element of peace in the soul, emotional and mental release of the each of us. A conscious attitude towards relationships with loved ones brings to our life a long-term sustainable effect: a happy life.
I share my insights on how to set the Distance of Environmental Communication correctly, how to measure the awareness of people, including my own in my webinars and workshops. You can all the necessary information in social networks. Come, I will be glad to see you and to share my knowledge with you.