Social psychologists generally agree that all of our behavior can be categorized into 5 unique personality traits that they label Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism. Much of the research has shown that people who exhibit high levels of neuroticism (which is our tendency to experience “negative” emotions such as anger, anxiety, sadness, and depression) is correlated with poor health, unhappiness, and other problematic outcomes. However, new research has come out that shows that people who exhibit high levels of Neuroticism, but also show high levels of Conscientiousness (which is our tendency to demonstrate self-discipline and aim for achievement against measures or outside expectations) actually have better health, happiness, and likelihood to achieve their goals.

So, what does this mean? Well, most self-help gurus, spiritual teachers, and psychologists warn against the harmful effects that neurotic tendencies, such as anger, anxiety, or depression can have. Some go as far as to say you should never be angry or never feel depressed or anxious. This type of belief and teaching can actually have the opposite effect because it can lead people to feel even more anxious when they are feeling anxious or to feel depressed about feeling depressed;…when in reality these type of emotions are part of being human and can actually motivate us to make positive changes in our life.

A more helpful belief and practice would be that it is not actually feeling anxious, depressed, or angry that is potentially harmful; but it is our response to our anger, anxiety, or depression that is important. In fact new research actually shows that people who exhibit higher levels of anxiety, depression, or anger (Neuroticism), but respond to those feelings in a Conscientious manner actually have better physical health and higher levels of happiness. This is in part because those ‘negative’ feelings can prompt us to make positive changes in our thinking and behavior.

There are various strategies we can use to put this into practice by making better use of our thoughts, feelings, and behavior. For example, probably one of the quickest and easiest ways we can counteract these ‘negative’ feelings and manage our stress is through exercise, whether that is a 10 minute walk, yoga, or going to the gym. Other ways we can quickly respond to our anxiety include taking more control of our thoughts and being more discipline with our thinking when we our feeling anxious or stressed. Some helpful thoughts that we can use to reduce anxiety and increase our ability to feel better when we are faced with feeling anxiety or stress include:

        “I will rise, rise, rise, and rise”
        “I don’t know how, but this situation will help me learn and grow”
        “I am here to serve”
        “I am dismissing this negative thought because I do not need it to
achieve my goal”
        “I intend to connect to my whole self right now”

Research has shown that these types of cognitive and behavioral interventions can truly reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression, make us feel better, and help us calmly take more direct action that increases the chances of us reaching our goals.

Most people set a goal and initially become very excited and motivated to achieve it. However, sometimes that initial excitement or motivation can wane or diminish when we are stressed, exhausted, or have worked tirelessly to achieve our goal for years with seemingly little or no objective results to show for our efforts. If you are looking to increase motivation to achieve your goals or fulfill your destiny or life purpose, but are feeling exhausted, annoyed, or stressed, then these tips can help.

1. Reconnect with the initial vision or inspiration that excited you.

That initial vision, passion or dream provided you with enough courage to take the initial steps in faith. Don’t let your exhaustion or stress get in the way of you taking the remaining necessary steps in faith in order to live your life purpose. Sometimes along the way we have to do things that are difficult, unwanted, or tough to live our life purpose. But, reconnecting with that initial feeling or vision can sustain us and increase motivation when we are feeling exhausted. What initially called out to you has not betrayed you or walked out on you. That initial inspiration is still present and capable of making you feel alive and motivated.

2. Ask yourself:

“What quality, characteristic, or skill do I need to develop to manage these current life circumstances?”

Sometimes, we might not like our current life circumstances, but we know deep down that we can handle them. In fact, sometimes our current life circumstances our capable of helping us develop the very strengths, skills, qualities, personality traits, or characteristics we need to develop in order to be the person we need to be to prepare us for future successes and responsibilities that come with those successes.

3. Focus on what you are grateful

By focusing on what we are grateful for, it switches our attention in our mind. Instead of feeling sorry for ourself, pissed off at life, or down, gratitude allows us to focus on unexpected joys in life. This fills up our energy and increases our motivation.

4. Focus on what you are proud of.

We may not have achieved our dreams yet or developed into the person we want to become, but chances are you have made giant strides over the course of your life. Sometimes, we get so caught up in the moment and our current life circumstances that we forget all that we have overcome in the long term since we started our journey. Also, some of our short term ‘mini’ successes say so much about our humanity and are worth being proud of. For example, did you listen to a friend or family member in the past week, smile at a stranger, get that errand done you have been meaning to get done, or have the courage to ask yourself what you really want out of life? Take time to be proud of those mini victories that are so easy to forget. Focusing on what you are proud of and past successes, even if you haven’t accomplished everything you want to accomplish, can give you the motivation and momentum you need to take on your current challenges and continue to pursue your dreams.

In actuality, a lot suffers from anxiety and tension. These emotional and mental strains are apparently a bothersome in general. While others are continuously fighting these kinds of stresses on a daily basis, many find it quite hard to be free from these burdens.

Today, different sectors and industries of the society are still looking for the right answers and solutions to these situations. Although there are numerous medications that can be consumed on a daily basis to improve the quality of life in totality, it is still advisable to resort to a more natural way of solving these things.

Accordingly, little did most people know that doing yoga can actually help you conquering tension and anxiety. Nowadays, people tend to cope more with their own emotional and mental stresses with the help of yoga. The benefits are actually efficient and effective as I have tried this method many years ago.

I would largely recommend for you to try doing yoga especially when you are in deep stress. These are the reasons why:

1. Meditation to relax a distracted mind

One way to fight stress hormones and decrease the levels of these is to actually do meditation. Take note that stress hormones are usually the reason behind why you keep on having distractions and tensions on a daily basis.

Now, doing meditation everyday enables your mind to be at ease and at peace. Moreover, it can reduce your worrying moments which are mainly the causes of tension.

Every morning once you wake up, try to meditate for 5 to 10 minutes. Although personally, I prefer more to meditate for 15 to 20 minutes, you could start at 5 to 10 minutes. Also, try to choose a peaceful, calm, and tranquil place in your house. Practicing this on a daily basis can eventually help you relax your mind even in a stressful situation.

2. Do Yoga Asanas and achieve a happy and healthy mind

Aside from achieving a relaxed and calm mind, you could apparently achieve a happy and healthy mind by doing different yoga positions or yoga asana. These positions are not only simple to execute but also very beneficial to your overall physique.

You may opt to do the bow pose or the Dhanurasana, cat stretching or the Marjariasana, or simply you could do the corpse pose or what they usually call as the Shavasana. These simple poses that you may execute everyday after your meditation can actually help flush out your negative toxins inside your mind and body, thus, you could achieve the yoga siddhi in the long run or the psychic powers.

3. Breathe right with pranayamas to relieve anxiety

There are generally 4 Pranayamas or breathing techniques you could include on your regular routines. These breathing techniques are found to be very efficient and effective decluttering your thoughts. Basing on personal experiences, pranayamas helps me achieve a clean mind. Moreover, it flushes negativities out from my system which are apparently root causes of my anxieties and tensions.

The most useful and prominent technique you could exercise and practice is the Nadi Shodhan Pranayama or the Alternate Nostril Breathing which is very efficient in releasing stress and anxiety.

4. Keep your mind calm with Matsyasana

Matsyasana is also known as the destroyer of all diseases. In addition, not only it destroys all the unhealthy factors inside your mind and body but it also helps you keep a healthy and calm mind regularly for your overall healthcare.

Commonly, Matsyasana is referred to as the fish pose and considered to be one of the beginner’s yoga pose. I have started yoga by doing meditation and the fish pose which then helped me to further develop my knowledge of yoga.

Well, you only need to primarily sit with your two legs. Eventually, sitting on your two legs and bending your head to the ground. Once your head touched the ground, make sure that your back is bent and never reaches the ground.

5. Strengthening the mind-body connection with child pose

The child pose or what is usually called as the Balasana is very beneficial both to your mind and body. Doing this pose regularly can actually assist you in strengthening and deepening the connection between your mind and body. Consequently, in having a healthy and strong connection with your mind and body will cater you more peace and calmness in totality.

Sitting on your two legs and lap, slowly bow down your body and head to the ground. Once your head and body reached the ground, make sure your arms are in a forward position appearing as a “bow-pose”. After a few seconds of deep breathing, move your arms slowly encircling your side going to the back.

In conclusion, doing yoga routines on a daily basis cater not only physical health benefits but also can improve your overall mental health. I know for a fact that these 5 stress-busting yoga techniques and tips can largely help you improve the quality of your life since I have improved mine. In addition, you can easily conquer and overcome your tensions and anxieties by doing these yoga tips.

Author Bio:

Ryan Varela is the CEO of Boost Health Insurance which provides customized and affordable health care plans for thousands of customers across the United States. Ryan has nearly a decade of experience in the health care industry and continues to serve the greater need to educate and deliver access to affordable options to those who need health care the most.

  Many self-help authors, psychologists and spiritual teachers suggest avoiding negative emotions such as anger, anxiety, depression, sadness, and guilt. However, I think their recommendations are incomplete and potentially unhelpful because they fail to understand the complexity of emotion….

First, many fail to understand that emotions are not black or white. Rather, there is a range of intensity in emotions. For example, a person is not either angry or not angry or in fear or not in fear. Rather, anger could be on a continuum of intensity ranging on a scale of 1 – 10, with 1-3 representing no anger (or perhaps repressed, denied or passive anger) to 4-6 representing mild or controlled anger. This range may represent assertive anger, where expressing your anger in a calm and direct manner can address an injustice or boundary violation and prevent future injustices or future boundary violations. However, anger ranging in 7 – 10 intensity range may be considered extreme or aggressive anger, which is usually characterized by anger controlling you to leading to acts of aggression such as yelling, intimidation, threats, insults, and violence and feelings of guilt or regret after the uncontrolled expression of extreme anger.

Thus, anger, and all emotions (grief, anxiety, depression) vary in their range or intensity of the emotion. Further that range of intensity or way in which emotion is managed or expressed is what is associated with helpful or unhelpful additional emotions and behavior and outcomes. Thus it is how the emotion is managed or expressed that contributes to our wellbeing and outcome, not simply the emotion itself…

This is important to realize because I believe and would argue that extreme levels of anger in the 7-10 range are rarely or never healthy because they are characterized by the emotion controlling our actions and expressing the emotion or anger in ways that we regret (e.g. insulting someone or acts of extreme aggression).

On the other range of emotion (in the 1 – 3 passive range), people may deny or repress their emotion or anger, which is not healthy either. A person may appear to be calm in this state, but may actually be bottling up their emotion or avoiding dealing with an emotion. This is the risk of self-help authors or psychologists or spiritual leaders telling someone to just be positive, think positive thoughts, and do something to make you happy. Many people would characterize this as being passive, in denial, or repression if you are ‘being positive’ at the cost of avoiding dealing with the actual negative emotion. This may have short term benefit of avoiding the experience of feeling or expressing a painful emotion, or confronting someone who we are angry at. However, denying or repressing an emotion or being passive with our emotions has a long term negative consequence of future outbursts, resentment towards others and self, and risks future boundary violations or injustices occurring because they were never addressed in the first place. It is also potentially inauthentic and dishonest to deny our painful emotions because we are not being true to how we are actually feeling about our self or with others. Simply being positive and not dealing with our painful emotions is especially unhelpful advice when someone is grieving the death of a loved one, job loss, or relationship break up or is understandably angry at an abuser or any sort of unhealthy boundary violation.

On the other end of the emotional intensity spectrum (7-10 aggressive range), some self-help gurus, spiritual leaders, and psychologists will tell you to always express your emotions and feelings no matter what. This has the risk of leading to uncontrolled expressions of emotion and behavior, aggressive acts, our emotions (e.g., anger) controlling us, and consequent feelings of guilt and regret about our uncontrolled expression of behavior, things we say to other people, or acts we may commit when we uncontrollably let lose with emotion.

Alternatively, if we can identify our authentic emotions and then identify the intensity of the emotion, then we can manage and express it in a healthy or assertive manner (4-6 assertive range).  For example, simply identifying that you are angry (or sad or anxious) can actually help you decrease the intensity of that anger and put you in more control of your emotions. Further, identifying the intensity of that emotion can help you know if you are at risk of managing your emotion in a passive or aggressive manner and then prompt you to manage it in an assertive manner.

Managing and expressing painful emotions is often more complex than simply avoiding negative emotions or always expressing the full depths of our emotions. A healthy and assertive way to manage and express negative emotions is to recognize that extreme levels of emotion on both ends of the emotional intensity spectrum, either aggression or passive management of emotion are almost always unhealthy and put you at risk of problematic behaviors. The solution is the ‘middle way’ or the identification of the intensity of emotion and healthy assertive expression of the emotion. For example, there is nothing wrong with feelings of anger or fear, in and of themself, if that anger or fear is expressed in a healthy, controlled and assertive manner.

The following steps are helpful ways to manage the INTENSITY of your emotions and express them in an assertive manner. They will not eliminate the negative emotion like some authors would advise you to do; nor will they have you expressing the full depths of your emotion without any regard to the negative consequences of uncontrolled expressions of emotion. Rather these steps will help you regulate the intensity of the emotion to a healthy manner so that you are more in control of your emotions, and are more likely to authentically and consciously choose how to manage painful emotions.

1. Identify the emotion
2. Identify the intensity of the emotion on a scale ranging from 1 – 10
3. Ask yourself: Why am I feeling this way?
4. Focus on your breath
5. State your emotion in a calm and direct manner to someone who will listen to you in an empathetic, caring, and safe way. For example, simply state out loud: “I am feeling angry right now.”

If you do not feel safe stating that to someone then you can write this down in a journal.

This will help decrease the intensity of your emotion so that you can act in a more controlled, authentic, and assertive manner. It will also help you express your painful emotions in a more authentic and safe manner so that they do not stay bottled up nor do they get aggressively unleashed.

This process of managing painful emotions is echoed in Rumi’s poem The Guest House, which is copied below:

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Peace,
Matt Welsh
Founder of Spiritual Media Blog

According to Tedeschi and Calhoun (2004) posttraumatic growth is:

“the experience of positive change that occurs as the result of the struggle with highly challenging life circumstances” (p. 1).

Examples of posttraumatic growth may be a greater appreciation for the value of life, increased belief in knowing that you can count on people in times of trouble, an enhanced sense of closeness with others, a greater belief in one’s ability to handle difficulties, putting more effort into relationships, and having more meaningful interpersonal relationships (Tedeschi & Calhoun, 2004). Examples of highly challenging life circumstances where posttraumatic growth may occur include the death of a loved one, job loss, ending a romantic relationship, serious illness, or an unexpected accident.

I have researched posttraumatic growth and a few interesting components of the phenomenon include:

1.) Struggle
2.) Highly challenging life circumstances
3.) Experience of positive change

Interestingly enough, the experience of positive change would not be possible without the struggle or highly challenging life circumstances. I am not trying to diminish the significance of traumatic events. While going through a death of a loved one, job loss, or end of a romantic relationship, it is normal and understandable that we would experience pain, hurt, and deep sadness. Grieving these losses puts us in touch with our humanity and allows time to feel how truly important these people and events are or were to our lives. During this time of feeling our sadness and grieving the loss of what was; or what could have been, we should nurture ourselves and trust ourselves that we are doing the right thing.

The struggle we go through during these incredibly difficult times can have value. They can add meaning and greater understanding to our life. The struggle that occurs during highly challenging life circumstances is also capable of helping us develop qualities, capabilities, and desires that would not be possible to develop in the presence of easy or comfortable conditions.

Posttraumatic Growth is not a new concept. It has it’s roots in spiritual texts. For example, Romans 5: 3-5 states:

“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope…And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.”

Peace,
Matthew Welsh
Founder of Spiritual Media Blog