Author Archive for Matt Welsh

6 Invaluable Lessons for Creating an Abundant Business

Posted by Matt Welsh 
· August 21, 2018 
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By Jackie Lapin

John E. Fetzer found as much joy in his quest for spiritual enrichment as he did in the wealth he acquired building a financial empire that ultimately made him the sole owner of the Detroit Tigers from 1961 to 1983 and put him on Forbes Magazine’s list of 400 richest Americans.

And that may be the most valuable lesson that he offers us today. He maintained that these two were not mutually exclusive and, in fact, his connection to a higher consciousness was integral to his success building wealth from the foundation of his radio and TV stations, to his investment in the burgeoning cable television industry and to his culminating acquisition of the Tigers.

As related in the new biography John E. Fetzer and the Quest for the New Age, author Brian C. Wilson shows how Fetzer was a forerunner of the New Age Movement, exploring multiple paths to find true “freedom of the spirit” via the insights of emerging spiritual leaders, movements and approaches – Eastern and Western – including Theosophy, Freemasonry, UFOlogy, parapsychology and Buddhism, among others.

After reading this revealing book, I believe the conclusions that Fetzer came to during his quest — and personally lived by — provide valuable guidance to anyone seeking to accelerate his or her own business growth and wealth.

Here are a few tenets that I think can be gleaned from the John E. Fetzer playbook of success:

* “Money is energy,” he often said. For Fetzer, spirituality was a recognition that all is spirit, which he conceptualized as an eternal, conscious energy that, if one were open to it, would inevitably lead one back to the “great central source.” Everything consists of this energy-even money. And if one understands this connection and taps into it psychically, then wealth and success, he believed, were within one’s grasp. This meant to him that money was to be used in the service of good, since business success and wealth could only be spiritually uplifting if used for love and service. Although immensely wealthy, Fetzer and his wife Rhea always lived very frugally, spending most of their lives in a modest home in a middle-class Kalamazoo neighborhood. For Fetzer, wealth was not for self-aggrandizement, which would have embarrassed him, but rather for the pursuit of a spiritual mission in service to the world. John’s approach was to serve first, and then money came back to him.

* Fetzer believed in Karma, and in resolving Karma in order to reach a higher order of consciousness as one passes through the many lives of one’s soul ascension. Thus, he sought to refrain from selfish, ego-driven actions that would have negative repercussions — not only in this life, but in future lives. John’s approach was to rein in his ego, seek equitable solutions for all, be generous with his workforce and partners, do his best and leave a wake of goodwill.

* Fetzer trusted a higher intelligence in guiding him to good business decisions. He meditated, contemplated and sought to gain insights that he felt came directly from source. And when he needed more guidance in plotting his business strategies, he used pendulums, astrology, Tarot cards, and even the Ouija Board. Or, he would turn to trusted mediums, psychic advisors, dowsers and channelers. He found multiple ways to tap into the infinite intelligence. And he could point to specific situations which paid off handsomely. John trusted the Universe to provide answers, listened to his intuition, and tapped multiple sources for his answers.

* Fetzer was still seeking to learn, grow and unravel more of the Universe’s mysteries, even as he approached his 9th decade. He never stopped trying to raise his consciousness. And in order to bring others along to a more advanced state of consciousness, so that they, too, could experience the love, compassion, and spiritual connection that creates abundance and peace, he funded some of the seminal spiritual/paranormal/scientific research of the 70s and 80s, to validate the existence of a higher power that can change our lives vibrationally. John never stopped questing, because it kept him vital–engaged in life and business.

* Fetzer was a believer in “oneness,” that we are all one unified force with the source of creation. So he lived by the “Golden Rule,” because he knew that he was connected to each and every one he encountered. He dealt with people with a fair and even hand. He brought respect to the negotiating table. He was beloved by his players on the Tigers and the employees in his company. John sought the good in all, refrained from gossip or unkind words, treated his employees with love and regard, dealt in good faith and was a positive light wherever he went.

* For Fetzer, leaving a legacy for the world was paramount. In the 1980s, when Fetzer was beginning to wind down his business activities and sell off his holdings, including the Detroit Tigers, he used his fortune to endow the organizations that would carry his mission forward, to improve “the human and cosmic condition” through the advancement of the spiritualized science that he felt was so necessary for global transformation, and to support the programs that facilitate building a spiritual foundation for a more inclusive, loving, peaceful world. The lesson here is to weigh what legacy you can leave for the world – and while it may not be funded by great wealth – it can be the fruits of your time, efforts and gifts from which others can enjoy and prosper in the future.

For those who are seeking validation that business success and enlightenment can actually work hand-in-hand, Fetzer’s extraordinary life stands as evidence.

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Jackie Lapin, author, speaker and publicist, connects conscious leaders with conscious media and speaking opportunities.

Brian C. Wilson, PhD, is the author of John E. Fetzer and the Quest for the New Age. He is a professor of American religious history in the Department of Comparative Religion at Western Michigan University. To download a FREE CHAPTER of his book and learn more about how John E. Fetzer explored the interconnectedness between science
and spirituality, visit www.infinitepotential.com

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Categories : Books, Guest Posts

Q&A with Arlene B. Englander, LCSW, MBA, Author of Let Go Of Emotional Overeating and Love Your Food: A Five Point Plan for Success

Posted by Matt Welsh 
· August 20, 2018 
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1. What is your book about and why did you write it?

“Let Go Of Emotional Overeating and Love Your Food: A Five Point Plan for Success” is meant to help those who’d love to eat what they like yet be able to stop just at the point of satisfaction without overeating. By learning the difference between healthy eating (which is eating for pleasure and the satisfaction of hunger) and emotionally overeating (eating to distract ourselves from painful thoughts and feelings ), we can learn to eat in a healthier more satisfying way. What’s equally important is to learn to successfully cope with stress away from the table, so we can actually find more pleasure in and more control of, not only our eating experiences, but our lives, as well.

I wrote the book because as a Columbia University trained psychotherapist, with twenty years of experience and a former emotional overeater, this was good news that had taken me half a lifetime to learn. I’m excited about being able to share this message more widely to help even more people than my practice alone would permit.

2. What advice would you have for someone who uses food as a way to celebrate in life?

For many of us, even “positive” changes in our lives, such as promotions, weddings, vacations, etc., can be stressful. Why? Because change of any kind can bring new challenges and expectations and if you’re hard on yourself the pressure may be hard to bear. Even if you’re given a wonderful surprise party — voila! There you are with family and friends you may not have seen in years and now you may feel you’re expected to be the “perfect” host! Change of any kind can be stressful and sadly emotional eaters will utilize food as an escape from that stress rather than savoring what they eat and stopping just at the point of satisfaction.

3. What advice would you have for people who want to eat healthy, but are faced with social or professional pressure to eat unhealthy at social or work lunches or dinners?

There’s almost always a way to eat healthily. Choosing small portions of well-balanced foods and slowly sitting as you savor your choices is always a possibility. Filling up on salads or broth-based soups as a start, and then taking a smaller portion of foods that are less nutritious and more calorie dense is something I’ve learned to do and many nutritionists advise.

Remember you can take control! Those who dare to judge or criticize what you do or don’t eat probably have issues of their own! Brush it off lightly and politely and change the subject.

4. How can we balance eating healthy with still allowing ourselves to enjoy foods that taste good?

This approach is about learning to savor small portions of all the foods we love and expanding that list to include as many typically “healthy” foods as we can. The beauty about learning to eat intuitively, rather than being trapped by the concept of dieting, is that when all foods are allowed we are free to enjoy what we like in small amounts. We know we can do the same thing again whenever we choose without feeling that we’ve “broken our diet,” which can cause self-condemnation, stress, and guess what? The urge to emotionally overeat!

5. Why do you think that foods that taste good are often unhealthy for us?

I respectfully disagree. Most of the foods I love would be classified by most nutritionists as healthy. But when we feel that many foods are “forbidden” — I.e chocolate — we tend to crave those foods, and unfortunately abuse them by eating too much, almost unwittingly, when they’re available.

Instead of a huge Hershey Bar, I now savor one small piece of Godiva chocolate, which I eat slowly, feeling in the moment, enjoying its scent, taste and texture.

6. What are your top 5 foods you would recommend people eat to let go of emotional overeating?

My approach, as a practicing psychotherapist, is to help people successfully cope with stress away from the table so that they are free to relax, savor their food and eat whatever they like, yet stop just at the point of satisfaction. It’s important that we learn to truly accept ourselves, utilizing techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to recognize negative thoughts, and compassionately respond to those so we can truly nurture ourselves. Exercise (finding fun ways to move) and other healthy habits also help.

This is a lifestyle change and one that’s pleasurable, not a matter of eating the right or wrong foods!

7. Why should we let go of our love of food if food brings pleasure and joy into our life?

We shouldn’t! The whole point of the book is that when we truly love and accept ourselves, we can love our lives and our food even more. This new type of eating, in an atmosphere of relaxation and self-acceptance is what brings real control.

Only when we feel good about ourselves are we free to relax, be in the moment, savor our food and stop ourselves from overeating.

8. Anything else we haven’t covered?

I’m so glad to be able to share this joyous message, and appreciate your interest.

Many more tips on how to do everything we mentioned above — eating mindfully, successfully handling stress, coping with challenging eating situations with friends and family, are provided in the book in an easy to remember and doable way.

About the Author:
Arlene B. Englander, LCSW, MBA, is the author of Let Go Of Emotional Overeating and Love Your Food: A Five Point Plan for Success (Rowman and Littlefield Publishers; September 2018).

Ms. Englander has been a licensed psychotherapist for over twenty years. She trained at Columbia University and is currently in private practice in North Palm Beach, Florida where she specializes in treating persons coping with eating disorders, relationship issues, depression, anxiety, grief and stress (personal and work-related). Love Your Food® is her non–dieting, psychologically-oriented program for compulsive overeaters in which clients learn to eat whatever they like, but stop just at the point of satisfaction without overeating.

Ms. Englander developed many of her theories about stress management while working at Cancer Care, Inc. where she counseled thousands of patients and families dealing with advanced cancer. She subsequently developed stress management programs for use in hospitals, law firms, and other settings. As Director of Community Education at the Holliswood Hospital, a private psychiatric hospital in New York City, which was renowned for its eating disorders program, her responsibilities included the production of educational seminars, often attended by audiences of as many as 500 professionals, including psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, psychiatric nurses and guidance counselors.

Aside from her professional training and experience, Ms. Englander is also personally familiar with the issue of eating disorders, as she is a former compulsive overeater. For more information, please visit https://arleneenglander.com.

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Categories : Books, Exclusive Interviews

The Rise of Addiction in Modern Societies

Posted by Matt Welsh 
· August 17, 2018 
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What is an addiction? You might think of people becoming hooked on illicit pleasures like narcotics, or the legal but equally addictive smoking habit that is so hard to break. If you take a look at the news media, it seems pretty much any human interest or activity can become an addiction. For example, you’ll find stories about gaming addicts who play their lives away, chocoholics who can’t do without their confectionary, and TV junkieswho devour box sets in a single sitting. You’ll often hear people around you claim they are addicted to foodthey like eating, or they’re hooked on Sudoku. Are these really all addictions, and if so, why has addiction become so prevalent?

Addiction or dependence?

There are both physiological and psychological aspects ofwhat we commonly call addiction. There are physical changes in the body chemistry of an addicted person that can be detected when they are examined and tested. These changes are part of what makes withdrawal effects so hard to deal with, as they can involve nausea, pain, and muscle spasms during the period where the body is readjusting its chemical balance. Psychological dependence can arise even if there are no physical changes, as a person arrives at a point where they can’t get through the day without whatever it is they are addicted to. Addictions and dependencies all have psychological aspects, and some have physiological ones as well, so the old understanding that addiction was physical and dependency was psychological has become less well-defined. In the medical world, dependency is now used to describe a state where a person struggles to cope with life unless they can indulge their desires, whereas addiction is the state where the desire has become the sole focus of a person’s existence.

Most addictions are dependencies

When you understand what true addiction is, it’s clear that most of the activities and interests we call addictions are dependencies, and in many cases not even as serious as to warrant that term either. They might more correctly be seen as intense interests or maybe obsessions to a degree, but they won’t cause the life-altering problems that full-blown addiction or serious dependency would. Having said that,there are still worryingly high numbers of dependants and addicts in the modern world. Lives are being seriously affected, and in many cases ruined or lost because of addiction and dependence, yet these are illnesses that could be avoided if we could prevent the behaviors that lead to addiction and dependency getting started.

Physical and psychological factors in addiction

If you take smoking as an example, you can see how these habits take hold of people, even when they know that it will cause them harm. Teenagers are going through a process of dramatic change, and part of this shift involves the separation of child and parent to prepare the child for life as an adult. That’s one of the reasons teens can be rebellious, and undertake risky behaviors. Young people often come under pressure from their peers to prove they belong, or that they’re tough and independent, and one way to do this is to smoke cigarettes. They’re forbidden and dangerous, and thus have a fascinating allure for young people. By the time they have matured enough to realizethat smoking is affecting their health and costing them a lot of money, they have become physically hooked as well as psychologically requiring the maintenance of the smoking ritual.

Psychological dependencies

For addictions and dependencies that lack such a direct physical effect, the main motivation is that these are benign activities that are a perfectly normal part of life. In most people, participating in them leads to no harmful side effects; for instance, having a flutter on the races now and again or placing a bet on who you think will win the Superbowl or the World Series is a harmless bit of fun. You can take a trip to Vegas and play poker, or have a binge on the slot machines and enjoy a fantastic time with your friends, and never think about gambling once you return home. But for some people, the urge to place bets becomes a gambling addiction, taking over their lives to such an extent that they can become seriously in debt and have been known to steal from friends and family, and even defraud their employers to feed their addiction. So what is the difference between the people who can take it or leave it, and those who become problem gamblers?

Why are some people more susceptible to addiction than others?

This is the $64,000 question! If it were possible to isolate a specific cause for an individual’s problem with addictive behaviors, then maybe it would lead to therapies that would effectively prevent or treat those who are prone to addiction. For example, if a gene could be isolated that caused addiction,then therapy could be developed to reprogram or replace the undesirable gene. However, the idea that gene therapy could cure all of humanity’s problems is far too simplistic compared to the reality of how genes work. There has been extensive research performed over the years to try and get to the root of the issue, but it seems there could be a combination of factors combining in certain individuals that make them predisposed to addiction. People who have experienced a difficult or traumatic upbringing are often more susceptible to dependencies, which can take many forms, including being in a co-dependent relationship. It has been argued that the reduction in spirituality amongst western societies has also contributed to the increase in addiction. There could be some validity to the theory that lacking a religious or spiritual belief leaves a gap in your life that then gets filled with hedonistic pleasures.

The allure of escapism can be a very powerful temptation when you are having problems coping with life, or you’re looking for a way to relieve stress or have some fun. If the rewards – be they physical, psychological, or both – become more satisfying than the rest of your life, you could be in danger of retreating into this world and losing yourself to your habit.

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An interview with author Dan Millman on The Life You Were Born to Live

Posted by Matt Welsh 
· August 13, 2018 
· 1 Comment

An interview with author Dan Millman on THE LIFE YOU WERE BORN TO LIVE — Revised 25th Anniversary Edition

 Dan Millman, former world-champion gymnast, coach, martial arts teacher, and college professor, is the author of seventeen books published in twenty-nine languages and shared across generations to millions of readers. His internationally bestselling book Way of the Peaceful Warrior was adapted to film in 2006. Dan speaks worldwide to people from all walks of life. He lives in New York City. www.PeacefulWarrior.com.

After writing your autobiographical novel, Way of the Peaceful Warrior, what drew you into the speculative field of numerology with The Life You Were Born to Live?

DM:  My first books in the peaceful warrior saga convey transcendent teachings through story. I then wrote No Ordinary Moments in response to readers who asked how they could apply those teachings in everyday life. At that point it seemed a natural progression to explore life-purpose and self-knowledge, which led to immersive work on The Life You Were Born to Live.

Such a progression may seem pre-planned and organized, but the process was nothing like that. My books emerged from my own winding path of discovery, as well as meetings with unusual mentors.

I had no innate interest in numerology, which seemed irrational to me — after all, how can adding up the digits in one’s date of birth provide valid and accurate information about the core issues of one’s life? I remained skeptical until a life-changing session with a man I’ll call “the warrior-priest.”

I had previously studied many systems of insight, including the MMPI and so-called enneagram material (years before any books were published on the subject). But none of these systems seemed as objective, accessible, and accurate as the material that I learned and internalized for nearly eight years, until I finally wrote The Life You Were Born to Live.  It was an extraordinary challenge, but more than a million readers validate the effort.

What new information does this new edition cover?

DM:  The original book described thirty-seven life paths, one of which will apply accurately to anyone born between 1750 to 1999. But some children born after the new millennium have new (single-digit) birth numbers. The revised and updated 25th Anniversary Edition covers all forty-five birth numbers (life paths).

Like the original edition, it reveals a quick and accurate means to determine one’s own birth number (and corresponding life path) and the life paths of friends, loved ones, colleagues, parents, and acquaintances. It also covers the strengths and challenges of each life path in areas of health, money, and sexuality, as well as key spiritual laws to help anyone overcome the hurdles on their own path.

In addition, the new edition reveals what makes a “master number” and why — how the single-digit numbers impact the life paths of many young people — and how this knowledge helps to clarify all the other life paths. I also added new examples of well-known people on each life path, and how I learned the system and why I chose to share it.

What is a birth number? How does it relate to a life path?

DM: Both mystics and physicists have proposed that all existence is comprised, at the atomic and subatomic levels, of numbers (frequencies or vibrations). In a way that no one has fully articulated, each of us is connected to the rhythms and dynamics of the universe, our solar system, and the solar and lunar cycles. But what seems to happen is that when we take our first breath, our parents give us a name and the universe gives us a frequency, expressed as our birth number. How? You’ll have to ask Pythagoras.

Once we derive our own (or someone else’s) birth number — either by looking it up quickly and accurately at the “Life Purpose Calculator” at my website, www.peacefulwarrior.com, under the menu item, “Life Purpose,“or by doing the math as shown in the Appendix at the end of the new edition — that number reveals our life path and all that entails.

I need to clarify here that if we divide the forty-five life paths into the population of the planet, that means millions of people are working the same life path. Does this make them the same in some sense? Of course not — each of us is unique, and has our own story to live.

Let’s point to a tree growing nearby. That tree is also unique, since no other tree on the planet is exactlylike that tree (i.e. the angle of every leaf and branch). Yet we can outline qualities of redwoods that are different from aspens or oaks or cypress trees. In the same way, we each have genetic heritage, life experience, and other factors uniquely our own — yet we also fall within certain overall patterns (or life paths) which we then manifest in our own ways.

Can your life path change?

DM: The local date and time you are born; that is, when you take your first breath (whether you arrived as expected, or induced, or via C-section), that is when you take on a birth number (or frequency) and life path. You have this path for a lifetime.

There are related factors I address in the new edition, such as whether you were born at or near midnight, or influences of the day before or after, or if you don’t know your date of birth for certain.

Although our life path remains the same, as we grow, mature, and evolve, we can face the issues on that path in more mature and resourceful ways, reducing the liabilities, overcoming the hurdles and challenges, and engaging the strength of that path (as outlined in the book).

Ultimately, through spiritual practice, we may even liberate ourselves or transcend that life path, so that it no longer defines or delineates us.

What does it mean if two or more family members have the same life path?

DM: My sister and I, and one of my daughters, happen to be working the same life path — each in our own way, but sharing core qualities, challenges and strengths.  Having  the same life path as a friend or family member has no special meaning, but does provide a chance to compare notes — similarities and differences in how we respond to, and even perceive, the events of our lives.

What’s the best way for a new reader to make use of this system?

DM: The book begins with a one-page guide titled, “How to read this book.”  To answer the question more generally, I encourage new readers to approach the material with healthy skepticism, but also an open mind.

Anyone reading this short piece can visit www.peacefulwarrior.com, click on the menu link, “Life Purpose,” access the free Life Purpose Calculator, put in their date of birth, find their birth number (and primary meanings) and read a summary paragraph or two about their life path. Of course the book reveals more detail, including spiritual laws key to overcoming the hurdles on that path — and also presents the dynamics of the composite number and path of any personal or relationship, and insight into our current place in the nine-year cycles of our life.

Is one’s individual path (or composite relationship path) easier or more difficult than another?

DM: As I emphasize in the book, each of us has our own mountain (path) to climb, and each path entails different hurdles and strengths. No individual or relationship path is better or worse, easier or more difficult, than any other except as we may make it so, depending on how we respond.

There are times in each of our lives when we face the challenges of our life path in more mature and positive (constructive) ways, and on other occasions, in more negative (destructive) ways. The book clarifies, for each life path, what our lives can look like when we’re working more in the positive, or more in the negative.

Do some life paths represent a more evolved soul?

DM:  Some systems of numerology posit that certain life paths (or final birth number) point to a more evolved (older) soul.  But the Life Purpose System has no such implications. Rather than conjecture about such ideas, it would seem more practical to study and embody the spiritual laws that help anyone to face the challenges of daily life in a more evolved and resourceful manner. Ultimately, it is not merely the so-called age of our soul, but rather our actions, moment to moment, that shape the quality of our lives.

How is this system similar to or different from the numerology systems in other books on the topic?

DM: The ancient Hebrews, Chinese, Mayans and Aztecs, as well as Islamic cultures each had its own calendar and numerological systems. And each system differs considerably in how the birth numbers are calculated and interpreted. The Life You Were Born to Live had become a central resource work for many numerologists (and psychologists and intuitive coaches) due to both its accuracy and articulation of elements not included in any other texts, ancient or modern, including the spiritual laws key to each path.

Based on correspondence and feedback I’ve read and received, I can only state that the information in this book has helped to clarify and enhance, and maybe even change, the lives of its readers — the same way my life was changed decades ago in that single session with the mentor who introduced me to the Life Purpose System.

Can the Life Purpose System guide me in finding the most suitable career?

The clearest answer is yes. And no.

Yes in the sense that the drives and qualities of a given birth number may point toward certain types of work. For example, those with a 7 in their birth number may thrive in solitude, doing research; those with a 1 or double-1 may find creative work especially fulfilling; those with a 2 or 4 may enjoy analytical work, and so forth. So the birth number does at least point to general kinds of careers (but not necessarily a specific one).

That said, the birth number and life path more accurately indicates the approach (challenges and strengths) that each individual may bring toany career. In my own research, I found a wide variety of life paths excelling in every career or sport or other pursuit. We bring the resources not only of our life path, but also capacities developed through our education, experience and insight.

Understanding our own life path (and that of others) brings more compassion for self and others, even as the information helps us to navigate the waters of everyday life — until ultimately, we transcend all systems. And what lies beyond, is beyond description.

**********************

The Life You Were Born to Live (Revised 25th Anniversary Edition): A Guide to Finding Your Life Purpose

Dan Millman Category: Personal Growth / Psychology

Pub. Date: August 14, 2018 Price: $19.95 / Trade Paper Pages: 504 ISBN: 978-1-932073-75-1

Distributed by Publishers Group West

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Categories : Books, Exclusive Interviews
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What is Spirituality?

Posted by Matt Welsh 
· August 8, 2018 
· No Comments

This excerpt on What is Spirituality?, is from Chapter 19, “The Great Mysteries,” from the book “Balanceology: The 4 M’s of motivation, meaning, measurement, mitigation.” By Al Johnson, PhD.

What is Spirituality?

 The journey I am on, the path I am following, though I have often not recognized it invariably involves spirituality —>the inner-workings and the inwardness dimension that makes for the individuality of a person. Unrecognized and unidentified because the defining of the word spirituality for me has been a daunting task. Speculative definitions arise depending on who is asked. How would you define spirituality? How would you define spirit? I maintain that no matter how spirituality or spirit is defined, it has become one more avenue in my attempts to be aware of and comprehend the nature of myself, and my deep yearning to bring real higher meaning to my life. In this chapter, I will describe how spirituality has entailed a process that embraces experiencing, being aware of, comprehending, and gaining knowledge of my inner being –—>myself. I will limn, delineate, and chronicle how spirituality invariably includes my endeavors to connect and belong with others. Along with literature, the arts, and myths I suggest spirituality is an additional passageway in my deep-seated desire to solve the mysterious, and in my search for meaning, truths and Truth. Spirituality surely involves experiencing truth(s), and maybe some experience of an Ultimate Truth that exists in the Universe.  In Chapter 21, I will present and detail higher meaning and Ultimate Truth.

Spiritual beings– I have discerned that a variety of definitions for spirituality (spirit) give significance to the physics and biology of breath, wind, and life. I insist that the breath of life inside of us is a spiritual principle. Poetically, metaphorically, and in actuality the spirituality of us surely pertains to and involves the breatheable part of us that sustains our life. I go on and assert that the concept of spirituality is nature-made, is innate, and is physically and biologically based. Full-stop! Roberts maintains that humans are a “physical-spiritual unity.” (1981) I propose that nature’s energy is connected to spiritual breath (wind) and together sustain life. Spirituality is about us, our life, our breath, our energy, our very essence. A hero of mine PierreTeilhard de Chardin announced, “we are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” (1955) I so agree with Soren Kierkegaard when he stated that, “Man is spirit. But what is spirit? Spirit is the self. But what is the self?” (1849) For me, this quote suggests that Kierkegaard is indicating that in knowing more about oneself, we are knowing more about our spirit. Fernandez-Armesto stated that, “the conviction that the Self is in some sense spiritual is remarkably resilient – considering how strange it seems by the cannons of common sense. There is no test for spirit; but the sense of it is too strong and widespread to be dismissed.” (2004)

Thus, I definitively state, proclaim and enthusiastically and terrifically announce that my-self is really another way of referring to my-spirit. My Self’s doppelganger is My Spirit <—>My Spirit’s poltergeist is My Self. I consider them to be equivalent and of the same substance. Period! I now include Self óSpirit in my naturalistic worldview. In the sense that my-self and my-spirit are the same thing and of the same substance, I consider that I am indeed a very spiritual person. Please stay with my reasoning on this. Do you understand that when I say I am a spiritual person I am trying to experience, to be aware of, learn about, try understand, and attempt to comprehend as much about myself, my inner world, my life, and the world around me as I can? Spirituality for me has become a process aimed at deeply knowing myself in a world of nature and in a world with other people.

Spirituality: Awakening– I have ascertained that the concept of spirituality is frequently associated with the word awakening. JohnSelby said there exists a need for “awakening the primal spiritual truths of human existence.” (2003) I postulate that a noteworthy part of my journey has been an awakening of myself to my life. I adamantly portend that spirituality is a critical part of my journey of awakening myself-to-myself. An awakening that can reset and anew a path towards self-evolutionary changes. A spirituality that is awakening surely is an evolutionary process that is inspirational and aspirational. I propose that awakening clearly has epigenetic and energetic connotations (more to come). Buddhism advocates that we become like the Buddha; the “awakened one.” Alcoholics Anonymous recommends and stresses its mem- bers have a spiritual awakening. I associate this breath of life awakeningas an inner dynamic energetic spiritual awakening to human nature, my collective inheritance, and my personal inheritance. To view spiri- tuality from this perspective becomes a matter of what I am really about, who I really am, what my true intentions really are, and relates to my authentic Self (more to come). Neuroscientist Antonio Damasio announced spirituality as “an organizing scheme behind a life that is well-balanced, well-tempered, and well-intended.” (2006) In later chapters, I explain how well-balance and supra-balance have a significant presence in Balanceology.

Importantly, my understanding of spirituality is not only a re-routing and inner-working path of awakening myself-to-myself, but is also a crucial path of awakening of spirit-to-spirit connections with others. Connection becomes a matter of my Self (my spirit) experiencing another Self (another spirit). Spirit-to-spirit awakening experiences evolve from the exclusive individuality of the Self (me), to the inclusive mutuality of belonging (we). Spirituality is a major way to cross the Prime Dualistic border and build relationships through attachment, affiliation, and connection. I go on and proclaim that self-awakening connects us with the collective human spirit from our trans-generational inheritance. Our 3,700,000,000 year old life-to-life connections are a direct route that connects us with our 13,700,000,000 year old Universe. Spirituality surely involves our search for deeper spiritual awakening experiences with the Universe that we are embedded in and is deep-seated in us. For Capra, “the experience of being connected with all of nature; of belonging to the universe, is the very essence of spirituality.” (2010)

Theory of Balanceology

I have been on a mission over the last many years to discover and build a world- view I can attest to and follow. The end result of my search is my book,Balanceology:  The 4 M’s of motivation, meaning, measurement,mitigation.  My autobiographical jour- ney evolved into a theory and practice. The Theory of Balanceology is the study of what it takes to live a life in balance and health. The centric idea of the theory comes from the time honored nature based concept of balance. The Big Idea and backbone of my theory is “Balance Is Everything.” The model theorizes that humans are motivated to satisfy our inherent needs (M-1), and thus add meaning to our life (M-2).  When a person is having personal and interpersonal problems an assessment and measurement (M-3) is made of the level of meeting needs and the current level of dysfunctional symptoms. Need satis- faction and current symptoms determine the degree a person is in-or-out of balance and health. Mitigation (M-4) involves building the personal and interpersonal skills it requires to better meet and satisfy our needs and thus lower unhealthy symptoms.

What follows is information related to the author. I also present a blurb that goes into greater detail concerning my theory and book.  For additional information related to my book, theory, and practice feel free to visit Balanceology.net and/or Balanceology.blog.

The Author

Al Wm Johnson holds a PhD in behavioral health counseling from the University of North Dakota.  Dr. Johnson is a professionally licensed mental health counselor (LMHC) and a licensed clinical addiction counselor (LCAC).  He has over twelve years work experience at various educational levels and settings. Dr. Johnson has many years of direct clinical experience with clients and patients.  He has twenty-five years of experience in man- aging various behavioral health programs in outpatient, partial hospitalization, residential, and psychiatric inpatient settings.

Dr. Johnson’s areas of expertise are in mental and behavioral health treatment, addictive and compulsive behaviors, and the components that provide for a quality education. He has interests in writing, consultation, training, and the presentation of interactive workshops. Over the last 15-20 years, Dr. Johnson has increasingly developed a fascination with the study of the history, philosophy, psychology and a spirituality that emanates from the natural world.  He has a profound respect for the brilliance of Nature, and in understanding the complexities of human nature.  Dr. Johnson has devoted efforts to explore and get a better understanding of his experiences emerging from Nature, human nature, and his own nature. His energy has focused on building a theoretical naturalistic needs-based model that inspires hope. That is, a therapeutic practical model aimed at developing the personal and interpersonal change factors it requires for self-evolutionary growth and balance-centered living.

Blurb About the Book

Balance is Everything!

INTRO: I was in my mid-twenties and I was spiritually adrift.  In a world capable of endless pain and suffering my childhood taught worldview was collapsing.  On a grief-stricken planet my supernatural based truths no longer had meaning. My heart was troubled, bewildered, and empty.  I had lost my way and my life was hanging in the balance.

MAIN THEME:  I required a new path forward and a new way to view the world. The impetus for my investigative journey only came after I understood Rene Descartes’ advice that, “at least once in your life you doubt as far as possible all things,” and a Shakesperean line, “what is past is prologue.” I challenged myself by asking, “am I going to allow myself to remain imprisoned to childhood conditioning?”  My answer was “no.” I mustered up the courage to dare-to-doubt and to embark on a heavy-hearted out-of-sorrow mission to discover Who am I?, What am I?, and my place in the world. I sought a worldview that could repeal-and-replace an outdated worldview based on fear and superstition. I desired a worldview storyline that could reasonably bring order out of disorder, encompass a beginning of time <—>an ending of time, accommodate living <—>accommodate dying, and could give me some understanding of why so much pain and suffering exists in our world.

CONTENT:  My tour de force journey entailed unrelenting years of research, study, and reflection. My initially self-focused autobiographical sojourner journey evolved into the Theory of Balanceology—-> the study of living a balance-centered life. My new worldview theoretical position endorses the time-honored physiological, biological, psycho-logical, and philosophical insight that Nature always seeks balance. Balance became my centerpiece idea that the world has natural patterns of order that aim to be maintained, and natural patterns of human inborn needs that aim to be satisfied, and together can bring stability, harmony, and contentment to one’s life.  This writing’s content endeavors to present, define, detail, and defend a theoretical and therapeutic worldview proposition advocating for the Big Idea that “Balance is Everything:”  i. e. a life-in-balance is one living-in-balance.

AUDIENCE:  This worldview paradigm gravitates towards those readers who are spiritually, philosophically, and psychologically inclined and can imagine the existence of worldviews beyond their own. It is directed at those curious individuals not of- fended by alternative worldviews, but actually seek to learn about nontraditional and even controversial ways to view the world. It is aimed at those adventurous truth-seekers disposed to ponder lives many paradoxes, fearlessly question absolutes, and possess a healthy skepticism + open-mindedness.  I admire those courageous people unconcerned about being politically correct or living by social expectations. This writing is steered towards those readers who actively desire having an emotional, psychological, spiritual, and ethical “workout.”  This unconventional and nonconformist model heavily criticizes certain cultural and religious sacred cows, and because of that I have prepared myself for an assured retaliation and heated backlash from some readers.

BENEFITS:  What will the reader gain by reading this writing?

  • The reader is presented with a nontraditional theoretical and therapeutic paradigm to view the world.
  • The reader is challenged to review your current ideas, values, beliefs, and worldview.
  • The reader is encouraged to initiate your own investigative journey, and to construct a worldview that has meaning for you.
  • The reader is given a textbook of educational content that transition into a workbook of experiential exercises.
  • The reader is invited to adapt ideas from this writing that make sense to you , but not to completely adopt them –>i e. create your own ideas and build a worldview that works for you.

 

 

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Categories : Books, Guest Posts

The Spiritual Side of Yoga

Posted by Matt Welsh 
· August 7, 2018 
· No Comments

The science of yoga is slowly being embedded into the life of many of us. Thank goodness! More and more entities across the globe are directing towards the science of yoga for healing and transformation evolving into mindful, compassionate, and spiritual selves. However, a majority of them still view the art of yoga as the physical practice of asanas good for cultivating body powers and natural flexibility.

But, the age-old truth is that this 5000-year old discipline was never about contorting the body into perfect poses and backbends. For millennia, the ancient method of yoga has been in practice by the yogis, sages, and seers for experiencing a limitless self. It has been a technique of residing in a realm of contentment and peace.

Even the physical practices of Asanas are designated towards spiritual goals. The performance of Hatha Yoga, Ashtanga Yoga, and other yoga forms unite the mind, body, and soul leading us towards true self-knowledge.

“The deeper you get into Yoga, you realize it is a Spiritual Practice.”

Discover the Spiritual Side of Yoga.

  1. Spiritual Upliftment: The sacred Sanskrit threads– the Yoga Sutras that outline the eight limbs imparted down by the great sage Patanjali offer guidelines for fostering spiritual qualities for the individuals to attain inner wisdom and lead a meaningful life. The Chapter II Sutra and Chapter III Sutra contains the eight-limbed practice for clearing the impurities of the body and mind leading the disciple on the path of luminous wisdom to eventually experience profound discernment and clarity (Viveka-Khyateh).

Yamas: The principles governing our attitude towards others and the environment. (Ahimsa, Satya, Asteya, Brahmacharya, Aparigraha).

Niyamas: Attitude towards Ourselves (Shaucha, Santosha, Tapah, Svadhaya, Ishvara Pranidhana).

Asanas: Physical Postures for building discipline and concentration, the essential elements required for meditation.

Pranayama: The breath-control technique for establishing and recognizing a connection between the breath, mind, and emotions.

Pratyahara: The withdrawal from the external world. A conscious effort of delving inside and knowing oneself better.

Dharana: Concentration. The practice of pushing the mind by focusing on a single object. It is the stage that precedes Dhayana.

Dhyana: Meditation. The state of being aware without focus. The mind is calm and higher consciousness develops.

Samadhi: The state of Ecstasy. A profound connection with the divine happens in this state.

  1. Cultivating Awareness: Balance and activate both sides of the brain, strengthen the inner wisdom, feel empowered to take the challenges of life, and awaken the consciousness with yoga. When practitioners show up on a yoga mat consistently, they slowly develop awareness of what the body is like, how to react to the challenges of life in a positive manner transforming their experiences with the self and those around. The practice of Yoga Nidra can be used for learning the subtleties of life and the dimensions of life that are not explored during waking, dreaming, walking, and sleeping states. Yoga Retreat in India is the way to understand and practice the Yoga Nidra.
  2. Psychical Positivity and Clarity: Yoga as a spiritual practice aims to cease all the negative thoughts by calming the mind and promoting a positive atmosphere. The holding of the postures through awareness transports our mind into a peaceful state. Additionally, doing Mantra Chanting while in meditation is a spiritual practice of self-transformation. Repeating the divine sounds (Mantras) of OM, OM Shanti, Gayatri Mantra help quiet the aggressive mind and brings it to a present moment. The mantras carry divine energies that significantly benefits the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health of the practitioners. Also, the soulful frequency of the mantras alters the vibrations of the life, for good. Spiritual retreats in India focus on Mantra Meditation and benefits of Mantra chanting.
  3.  Spiritual Stretch: During the spiritual retreats in India,the Physical practice of yoga styles consisting of diverse yoga asanas is for physical and psychical fitness for sure, but it is more for spiritual goals that add depth to our practice. Yoga asanas teach us the art of self-compassion, through which the performers can establish a strong connection with the inner being thus leading them to mindfulness. The third limb of yoga asanas of Sage Patanjali is practiced for spiritual care and experiencing each sensation with the consciousness that is highly essential for attaining Pratyahara and Meditation (fifth and seventh limb of Yoga respectively).
  4.  Quiet Mind: Most of the time, our mind is involved in unwanted thoughts instead of simply being in the current moment. And, there are several of them asking the ways to develop calmness and to connect deeper within the self. The yogic practice of Meditation gives us the opportunity to silence the fluctuations of the mind and transport us into the sacred inner space. Meditation teaches us to be aware of our experiences and be grateful. It develops an attitude of gratitude within us, which makes yoga a spiritual practice.

The multiple Yogic Methods are the way to journey the interior path to meet the true self– and that is truly the aim of Yoga.

 

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Why Is Goal Setting So Important?

Posted by Matt Welsh 
· August 6, 2018 
· No Comments

Goals are the things that move our lives forward; they are what give us the reasons to keep pushing through, even when times are tough. Knowing that we are close to reaching our next goal is something that can bring happiness and pleasure, and something that can stop us from quitting altogether. Everything we do should be part of a major life goal, helping us to take the next step towards where we can to be. But if this is the case, why not just keep plugging on towards that big life goal and keep that in mind at all times?

It’s because this can be too overwhelming. That goal will be a huge one, something that will have many challenges and successes (and some failures) associated with it. If that is what we concentrate on, it’s likely that we will have to stop because it all becomes too much. Setting smaller goals to help us on our journey is a much easier way to ensure that we reach our ultimate goal in the end. Here are some other reasons why setting goals arenecessary for a successful life.

You Will Have Focus

If you are heading towards something for a specific reason, you will be focusedon getting there. If you just set out with nowhere particular to go, you can easily be sidetracked, get lost, end up arriving late or not at all. You might be distracted and lose sight of what it was you wanted in the first place. All of this means that your ultimate goal won’t be achieved, or at least not as quickly as you may have originally planned. You need an aim and a purpose for everything you do, and that is what goal setting is all about.

Having the potential to do well is not enough; you need to have the goal in mind as well. These two things combined are what make people successes. Goals give you your ultimate direction in life and therefore make decisions much easier, everything should point towards the direction you’re heading in. If you don’t know what direction that is, life can become a lot harder.

You Can See How Far You Have Come

If you have set goals that you are reaching and succeeding in, you can look back at your journey and easily see how far you have come. You can understand what was difficult and what was easier, and when you stumbled but came back fighting, ready to keep moving towards your next goal. It is extremely important. If you lose track of where you are and how far you have come, your passion for what you are doing may start to dwindle because it could feel as though you haven’t achieved much, or you still have a long way to go. Knowing exactlywhat you have done makes all the difference because rather than being disheartened that you haven’t done much, you can think about the progress you have made instead.

You Will Be Accountable To Yourself

Having a vague idea of where you want to be and what you want to do,will leave you open to all kinds of excuses. You’ll tell yourself that you can start tomorrow, or next week, or in the summer, or during the winter, and in the meantime, you will continue doing what you have always done. Having specific, measurable goals that have a deadline associated with them means that you need to start right away, and if you don’t,you’ll have to be accountable to yourself. Take smoking, for example. If you want to quit smoking, you may have told yourself all the reasons why it’s a bad habit and horribly unhealthy. However, without a goal in mindand a date by which you want to have quit, you’ll find it much harder to get started. Break the task down into smaller goals, starting with cutting down on how much you smoke, or buying a Vapeberri starter kit so that you smoke e-cigarettes rather than real ones, andit becomes much easier. You will still be accountable for your ownactions, only this time, with proper focus and determination, you can be pleased with yourself.

You Won’t Procrastinate

Procrastination means you put off starting (or completing) a task; there can be many reasons why this happens, and it can be a difficult habit for people to get over. However, with a specific, attainable goal in mind, procrastination becomes much less problematic. Having short term goals and deadlines is what spurs us on, and longer term goals means that procrastination is much more likely. After all, if you know you don’t have to get something finished until six months’ time, you may well put off starting the task, or take your time over it, stopping because you’re distracted throughout.If you have a week, you’ll get started right away and not allow yourself to lose focus. Thisis why smaller, short term goals are so important.

You’ll Be Motivated

Motivation is a powerful thing; it will help you do everything you need to doand to keep going until you have achieved your goals. Goals and motivation work hand in hand; having a series of smaller goals will help you to stay motivated, and the more motivated you are, the quicker you will work through those goals – there is no downside.

In order to reach your ultimate goal, no matter what it is, you should try to be as motivated as possible throughout the process. It will sometimes be hard, there will be times when your confidence in your ownabilities will be shaken, but every time you reach a goal, you will feel even more motivated to reach the next one, and that means you are much more likely to succeed.

The goals you set are the tools you need to focus onyourself, keep motivated, stay positive, and make your life exactly how you want it to be. That’s why it’s so important to have them, stick to them, and achieve them.

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Yoga is More than the “Asanas”–The Poses; It’s a System that Encompasses 8 Steps to an Enhanced, Healthy and Authentic Way of Living

Posted by Matt Welsh 
· July 31, 2018 
· No Comments
         
What is the first image that pops into your mind when you hear the word yoga? I’m guessing it’s got something to do with the physical practice, or asana as it’s called in Sanskrit. A long and lean-looking woman in a downward facing dog. Or the well-defined physique of a man standing on his hands. These images, and what the vast majority of people – including yoga practitioners – would conjure up in response to this question, is actually just a miniscule part of the practice of yoga. Yoga is a practice of integrating mind, body, intellect and spirit. It is a path of spiritual and personal growth. It is a process whereby we learn to connect to our deepest, most authentic selves and all the selves that walk this earth with us.

That might sound pretty lofty and esoteric. But the practice of yoga, as broken down and defined in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali – one of the quintessential texts of all of yoga history and philosophy – is actually an accessible path of living that even the most skeptical amongst us can use to great benefit. The Sutras provide an eight-limbed path that amounts to yoga. Asana is only one of the eight limbs. Thus, if we consider the state of modern yoga, most practitioners are only engaging with one-eighth of the practice.

The eight-limbed path begins with the yamas, or external restraints. These are five guidelines focused on how we relate to the world around us. There is ahimsa (non-violence), satya(truthfulness), asteya (non-stealing), brahmacharya (non-excess), and aparigraha (non-possessiveness).

The second limb is the niyamas, or internal restraints. These are five guidelines focused on how we relate to our own selves. There is saucha (purity), santosha (contentment), tapas (self-discipline), svadhyaya (self-study), and ishvara pranidhana (surrender). By learning and then incorporating the yamas and niyamas into our lives, we start to live more in alignment with our highest values. And when we do so, life feels a little more peaceful, regardless of the vicissitudes of daily life.

The third limb of yoga is asana, the physical postures. This is the part of the practice we typically see glorified on Instagram and other social media. Particularly when it is practiced in concert with the other limbs, though, asana is an amazing way to keep the body supple, strong, and full of vitality.

Fourth is pranayama, breath control. The breath is an incredibly powerful force in regulating our physical and emotional selves. If you’ve ever stopped to notice your breath when you’re feeling anxious or angry, it’s inevitably been shallow. By deepening the breath, you literally send a signal to your brain to slow down, to move from the sympathetic nervous system (“fight or flight”) to the parasympathetic nervous system (“rest and digest”). When we learn to shift ourselves to the parasympathetic nervous system, we are poised to move through the world with more self-awareness and grace.

Next along the yogic path is pratyhara, sensory withdrawal. While in ancient times this limb was practiced by retreating into the nearest cave for days on end, modern yogis can find refuge from the incessant stimuli that continually confronts us by finding pockets of stillness and quiet in our lives. It is only when we get still and quiet that we can truly get in touch with our deepest selves, the part of us that knows who we are apart from the trappings of our professional and personal lives.

The final three limbs of yoga pertain to the practice of meditation. For the ancient yogis, meditation was yoga, plain and simple. The asana practice was simply a means to this important end. Make the body flexible and supple enough so that it could sit comfortably for prolonged periods of meditation.

The sixth limb of yoga is dharana, or concentration. Here the practitioner finds the power of a focused mind by repeatedly drawing the attention back to the point of focus (perhaps a mantra, the breath, or even a physical sensation).

The seventh limb of yoga is dhayana, translated as meditation itself. Here the process of interiorization – going inward to our truest selves – deepens. There are countless meditation methods to achieve a deepening of our spiritual practice. What the various meditation practices have in common is that they bring the practitioner more fully into both her individual and her universal self. Thus, the practitioner starts to feel into the truth of the idea that we are all connected, simply by virtue of the fact that we walk this earth simultaneously.

Moving from the transcendental to the mundane, meditation has the added practical benefit of helping the practitioner develop space between stimulus and response. When the yogi cultivates the ability to reflect and respond rather than simply to unthinkingly react to that which arises in her life, she will know more peace and spread more peace.

The final limb of yoga laid out in the Sutras is Samadhi, or enlightenment. It can be said that most of the time, we are like waves who have forgotten that we are part of the ocean. In Samadhi, though, we realize that we are the ocean. We feel in our bones that what we once perceived as separation between us is illusory.

Much of the eight-limbed path may sound aspirational rather than attainable. That’s perfectly ok, so long as we recognize that even the smallest of steps along the path can create tremendous movement in our quests to live our best lives, to become our best selves. If we can start to dip our toes into the practice of yoga – whether by cultivating compassion for another, gratitude for the gifts in our own lives, or simply finding some time to sit in stillness and appreciate the sensation of our breath – we are practicing yoga.

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Sindy Warren is a certified yoga and meditation teacher and a lifelong student of the practice. She is passionate about sharing the wisdom and beauty of the practice of yoga with others. In her new book, Radi8: Using the Practice of Yoga to Cultivate Your Inner Shine, she makes a persuasive case for the continued relevance of the philosophical underpinnings of yoga for the modern yogi and even simply the yoga-curious.

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Categories : Books, Guest Posts

Inanna Says, ‘ Me Too’ From Queen of Heaven to Lilith the Harlot: How our ancient past can illuminate our present and forever change our future.

Posted by Matt Welsh 
· July 30, 2018 
· No Comments
By Kaliyani Sundari
At what is believed to be the birth of our current civilization, somewhere around 4,000 B.C.E. there existed a Sumerian goddess called Inanna, whose name literally means Queen of Heaven. She was known to have been the most venerated, worshipped and respected of the original four – sometimes believed to be seven- Sumerian divinities that from the heavens came to create and civilize us. She is believed by religious historians to be the precursory goddess to the Babylonian Ishtar, the Phoenician Astarte, the Hittite Sauska, Syrian Atargatis, the Greek Aphrodite, the Roman Venus and many others; including inferences made by Hebrew mystics associating her with their feminine primeval element of earlier days called the Shekinah. By far she was the most important deity of ancient Mesopotamia in all periods.
         In great contrast to the disempowered archetypical divine feminine we have grown so accustomed to see, as the subdued consort to the one and only omnipotent sacred masculine; goddess Inanna is the archetype of the fully sovereign, empowered, liberated and glorified divine feminine. She is completely unrestrained by the artificially imposed dogma of religious models that have both psychologically repressed and physically limited the roles women could play. Inanna exemplifies the authentic gifts that emerges from one who is not coerced from their authentic truth, nor selling the soul out of fear in exchange for a life ultimately not worth living. She was unafraid to be free and to express her fully uncompromised authentic Self, refusing to abide by a forcefully established oppressive model of existence that could only benefit part of the whole. She was not reticent about breaking the “rules” when necessary, when they seemed to compromise her heart and soul’s integrity. She was a living example of fierce-love and spared no effort to defend and protect what was honorable, equal and just, as many mythic-historical accounts tell, with heroic determination.
          She is the longest known venerated god of our history, spanning a period of over 4,000 years so far of historical accounts of her spiritual sovereignty, and the most popular of the gods in the entire Sumerian pantheon. She is the offspring of Nammu, who in turn, is the creator goddess of Sumeria, who created heaven and earth and all beings and even all gods under it. No male counterpart is known of in regards to Nammu’s original clay tablet story. This discovery by far has brought me the most healing and validation as a woman, which my human awareness for so long searched and my inner child so deeply needed. Diametrically opposite from our own Judeo-Christian programing, it reveals to us that in the many convolutions of our historical unfolding, we were easily shaped by the stories and myths we gave most weight, value and importance to, regardless of how unsubstantiated and fundamentally opposite to our own true nature they may have felt. Most of all, it informs us how profoundly vulnerable we are.
         How could it be that in so remote a time, there existed such a powerful role model of the fully empowered and liberated, honored, respected and adored feminine that we are still struggling to find and embody thousands of years later?
         As one of her many Hymns illustrates below, she was worshiped in the highest form with great devotion and had temples in multiple city states across all Mesopotamian countries:
I say, “Hail!” to the Holy One who appears in the heavens!
I say, “Hail!” to the Holy Priestess of Heaven!
I say, “Hail!” to Inanna, Great Lady of Heaven!
Holy Torch! You fill the sky with light! You brighten the day at dawn!
I say, “Hail!” to Inanna, Great Lady of Heaven!
Awesome Lady of the Annuna Gods!
Crowned with great horns, You fill the heavens and earth with light!
I say, “Hail!” to Inanna, First Daughter of the Moon!
Mighty, majestic, and radiant, You shine brilliantly in the evening,
You brighten the day at dawn,
You stand in the heavens like the sun and the moon,
Your wonders are known both above and below,
To the greatness of the Holy Priestess of Heaven,
To you, Inanna, I sing!
 

Sumerian tablet Hymn translation from, Inanna Queen of Heaven, by Wolkstein and Kramer.

 
        Much confusion is still present around her story, for the most part because she stood at the very edge of the paradigm shift to a male dominant rule and because of that it was predictable she would became their primary target. The very moral virus she strived to prevent, eventually won over. First through the power of the blade, in a tyrannical rampage of violence and repression that the fear mongers of our monotheistic religions used to severely enforce their doctrine in the last 2,000 years.
        Later, including today, as a deeply buried unconscious program; a cellular memory that insidiously feeds, support and maintains the female as an unconscious prisoner to an unconscionable reality. Like a ghost of the past, it whispers in our ears, “you are less than”, “not good enough”, and “unworthy of God”. As the patriarchal paradigm proceeded with its bloody and systematic divide-and-conquer mission, it left behind a trail of distortion, fraught with bias and countless fallacies, and falsifications about Inanna’s story, her service, character and mission, in order to weaken her powerful presence in the hearts of all her people. She’s the once great one, which the old “holy” book venomously vilified and referred to as the infamous Lilith; the indomitable first wife of Adam. At times connoting she was the personification of all evil and the devil itself – remember her horned hat? – Luckily all of the gods of the Sumerian pantheon wore such hats, however no one remembered them, while Inanna lingered in their hearts thousands of years later.    
        She was no good because she refused to subjugate. She stood for equality, inclusion, and the freedom to be true to her and to be master over her own body. For her daring courage alone she was deeply admired, not only by women, but men as well, as her androgynous nature made her relatable to both. Such distortions were many a times perpetrated not just in the shifting waves of those ancient times, but also shockingly by many of our modern theologians who now, falling victims of the same androcentric religious programing, were at times unable to conceive, and at other times accept, such measure of power in female form.
         As Samuel Kramer, one of the world’s leading Assyriologists and a world-renowned expert in Sumerian history and Sumerian language attested clearly in his essay, The Sumerian Woman, “such theologians went ahead and deliberately changed, omitted, and/or twisted their translations to fit their male dominated, androcratic predilection”. Furthermore, just as it was done to the original Judeo-Christian Gospels, many altered versions of the first original Sumerian creation myth – The Enuma Elish Tablets – were produced throughout time; with the most spurious versions found much later than the original, at the Babylonian era, dating circa 2,000 B.C.E. under the rule of King Hammurabi.
          Given my early fall from grace as the result of a traumatic sexual molestation experience – which I write about in another article – and the ensuing life long’s quest for an ever expanding direct connection with Spirit so it would deliver me into truth; it’s not so surprising that Inanna would enter my life to bring me this healing message. She unraveled the gift in my own experience, while extracting the healing antidote to my wound from the poison itself. Sometimes it feels as if Inanna’s archetype rose like an emanation out of my own wounded heart. She showed me the true origin of my pain while showing us all that what we are today, is a result of the ancient planting of a hypocritical seed, deep within our subconscious, that like weeds that drain and suffocate the most beautiful and nourishing fruits of our sacred garden, they need to be taken out by the root. She shows us now where that root is. Like all of us women, Inanna is a mirror of the dishonored collective feminine and yet, at the same time, she exemplifies the exalted, noble and majestic divine feminine that we should strive to embody each step of the way towards Self-actualization.
          Finally, as Earth’s Queen whom from Heavens came, Inanna embodies the unification of all paradoxes, Earth and Sky, Love and War, Light and Dark, Spirit and Flesh. The integration of opposites is the ultimate yoking of the Soul. Of all the polarities I find of most imperative value for us to integrate at this point in our evolutionary spiral is also the one which Inanna, became uniquely known for; The concept and practice of the Sacred Marriage, aka, Hieros Gamos. She is known to have educated us humans in the art of sacred sexuality, where the sexual and the sacred were not separate, but intrinsic mirrors, and complementary to one-another. I feel this is more than ever a very timely concept that if reintegrated into our conscience, would undoubtedly bring deep healing and balance to our current patriarchal cursory, frivolous, one-dimensional, and neurotically distorted shadow of the most powerful alchemical union between two beings. One can assuredly say our single most divinely creative ritual.
         In a practical way, setting aside the added complexity of the overly misconstrued subject of Tantra and Neotantra, I propose two avenues of healing. One, that people begin with the simple development of a collective curiosity towards the more metaphysical and ontological understanding of sex; and two, that we begin to recognize the ways in which our past conditioning and wounds and the added unconscious reactions to the same, has created damaging distortions around it that need to be looked at and restored. This subject alone is the work of many volumes of our Psychological literature, however in order to heal, we need to hear on the cultural collective level a critical mass acknowledgement that something is off and a willingness to invest oneself into healing and repairing the damage needs to be present. This is obviously especially crucial on the toxic masculine side of the equation very exposed by the Me Too movement.
           On the other hand, while working on the psychological healing, we could also begin to look at our sexuality from a quantum perspective as well; as an energetic body. It is the most powerful force generator we know and thus could hold the potential for the true energetic integration of the feminine and masculine polarities that extends beyond the act of union it represents. It is not as far-fetched an idea, even for the most cynic of views, that just as we believe the electrons need a highway to travel in order to ignite a light bulb – even though we cannot see them; With a more respectful and conscious approach to the energetic handling and practice of this magnetic power plant called sexuality, we may become on a cosmic level real creators beyond the physical, igniting instead the true light of our soul.
          I like to imagine that from the clean slate of a healed mental and emotional body around sexuality, we will be able to utilize the sexual energy for collective healing and to magnetizing our energetic field to manifest only what is in greater harmony with our soul’s highest purpose. With that ideal as inspiration, on a more mundane level, we should start by implementing a new dialog around sexuality that is more natural, dogma-free, and holistic. This new understanding and dialog needs to be uncovered, disseminated and practiced from an early age in order to bring forth an integrated understanding of the multidimensional aspects of a healthy sexuality and its healing effect that I believe will quantum leap our evolution in consciousness.
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Kaliyani Sundari is a Spiritually Inspired Visionary and her commitment to the renaissance of the Sacred Feminine in our collective conscience is reflected in her work as a Recording Artist (see https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvlBC7expc8 and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvLBGmGnW2Q ), Conscious Media Producer www.stargatealliance.com, author and facilitator of Sacred Circles. For more information please go to www.kaliyani.com

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Categories : Guest Posts

I’m The Fat Friend, and I Couldn’t Be Happier About It

Posted by Matt Welsh 
· July 29, 2018 
· No Comments

BY SUSAN FRENCH

Hello. I’m Susan French, and I’m the “fat friend”.

It dawned on me last week, during a late night dancing session at the local goth club. I arrived with two friends, not too different from me.

All three of us are close in age — in our mid to late 30s, approaching early 40s — no longer youthful like the college kids dancing around us, but with an easy-going confidence that comes with age.

The big difference between me and my friends is our outward appearance. They are blond, I am a natural brunette with strawberry-dyed curls. They are thin, and I’m…well, fat.

When you look at me you can’t help but notice the extra weight that I carry around my face and midsection. I’m wide, and round and most women’s brands don’t carry my size.

Society tells me I’m fat. When I go out with my friends, they get a warmer reception than I do.

I take up more space on the dance floor. I see people staring at my back fat in my swimsuit at the beach. And take notice of men who talk to my friends in the club without acknowledging I, too, am standing right there.

Sometimes, for all this mass, I may as well be wallpaper.

But here’s the thing, I don’t care.

My Life as a Skinny Person

I was a skinny person once. Very skinny.

In my teenage and young adult youth, I struggled with untreated ADHD, insomnia and other problems. I would go days without really stopping to recharge my battery. Sometimes that meant, going three days in a row where all I ate was a bowl of rice each day.

It’s not that my mom didn’t cook, she usually did. But with a busy family on different schedules and some alcohol problems in the mix, it was easy for me to hide the fact that I wasn’t eating. No one was really taking inventory.

Other days my friends and I would make bad decisions and come back to my house to binge on snacks.

At the time, I didn’t realize that I was suffering from an eating disorder. I restricted my eating, I binged — sometimes to the point of purging — I lost a lot of weight.

I remember having to do a food diary as a general curriculum assignment for health class. After three days of reporting 500 calories a day (mostly in cookies at lunchtime) my instructor pulled me aside to ask if I was ok.

I felt like I was ok. I was thin and pretty, so my life was pretty easy.

I had become a comfortable level of popular, where I had a big group of good friends — but didn’t hang with usual suspects in the popular crowd. I immersed myself in friendships with drama and art kids, and band nerds.

I never got into a situation that being young and cute couldn’t get me out of. The phenomena of skinny privilege is absolutely a thing!

And for all of that, my quality of life was not good. I did bad things solely to make myself feel better and to hide the fact that I had no idea who I was, deep down. I constantly questioned my own worth. My grades dropped. I got myself into situations, I hope to never repeat.

And it only got worse as I got older.

The Day I Gained

Okay, so it wasn’t a day. It’s been years that I’ve been gaining and losing to the tune of 120 pounds over 17 years. But in the beginning, the first year or two, every big spurt of weight gain felt like it happened over night. It felt like my daily defeat.

At 135 pounds, I kept thinking about when I weighed 111 and wondering where this weight came from. The same at 150 pounds, then 180 pounds.

I realized that over the course of about a year, I had gained about 80 pounds. Adulthood for me, meant being a young twenty something, trying to learn to adjust major changes in my own body.

At first, I was miserable.

Up until I was about 21, I had been dating my highschool sweetheart. But he and I broke up.

I was dating men for the first time in my life in this body didn’t feel like my own. It was a trying time, being both naive due to a sheer lack of dating experience, and vulnerable because I couldn’t understand my own worth.

The funny thing is, for what it’s worth, being overweight didn’t affect my sex life. I was my own worst critic, and didn’t make the best dating decisions as a result.

In my twenties, I drank… a lot. I was a server at a bar and grill, and felt really at home in the culture of waiting tables. Drinking after work, was just the thing to do. No one had anything to do in the morning, and so we stayed up until sunrise.

I can’t say it wasn’t fun, but it still hadn’t clicked for me. I hadn’t found what I was looking for — a good relationship with myself.

Like many existential twenty-somethings, I tried to fill the void with partying and good times. But it didn’t work.

The Ups and Downs

No one tells you that kind of lifestyle can only last so long. And as someone who has a tendency to overindulge and gain weight quickly, that life wasn’t getting me any closer to the skinny girl who I still believed lived inside my fatter body.

But as weeks turned to years turned to decades, it became more and more obvious that she… was gone.

For a long while, I mourned the skinny person who I thought had abandoned me. The one who felt like the best version of myself.

My lack of skinny privilege became the most apparent within my career.

As a young person, I had become accustomed to getting what I wanted. At one time, I felt like I must’ve been a really great job interviewee because every time I interviewed for a job I got an offer.

Bright, charming, pretty — right out of college I was going to take the business world by storm.

I’ve always been a go getter and goal setter, I had my eye on education administration and marketing jobs where my future as a junior executive would be realized within a few years.

But instead, I continued to gain weight, and lose career momentum.

I faked a smile as the male executives at the firm I worked for made sexist jokes about other fat women right in front of me. I worked overtime, lent my talent and ideas, and was still sometimes resented by my male counterparts.

I watched other women rise through the ranks, while talks of eliminating my position started to permeate in the white noise. After I announced that I was pregnant, I was eventually asked to resign.

I later caught up with one of the females who had done well at this company and she regaled me of stories of sexual harassment at the hand of another executive. I wasn’t surprised.

Over the next three years, I would be laid off from three positions — two of which let me go during the same pregnancy. I was told I was bossy, abrasive — feedback I had never received as a skinny person.

It’s not that my personality had changed, just my body. And now, people – especially men – felt really comfortable picking apart my personality.

When I took personality tests for the various sales jobs I was in, my results came back with traits like “assertiveness”, “ambitious”,  “a strategist” and “someone who can use multiple solutions to solve a problem.”

But instead of rising through the ranks, powered by my own ambition, I was told to be more delicate in my email communications and I started using more emojis. I often was offered lateral moves and my career seemed to stall.

Sometimes, for women, life isn’t fair. This feels especially true if you’re fat.

The Journey to Wellness

Despite career issues, in 2016 I found my zen.

That was the year I got laid off from the last of three jobs. Up until that moment, I had begun employing mindfulness strategies that helped me achieve a better diet and overall reduction in  ADHD symptoms.

The golden ticket for me is practicing mindfulness techniques and eating low carb.

I was surprised to find that, for me, a low carb lifestyle helped to get off of ADHD medication that I started taking as an adult. The idea that your diet can control ADHD is by no means a medical opinion or recommendation, it’s just something that worked for me. Always consult a doctor before stopping medical intervention.

My main goal was to feel like I could understand what my body was telling me, which is why this is more of a mindfulness story than a weight loss one.

I had come to the realization that I was a floating head. Everything I felt and experienced was from my mind, but I wasn’t reading sensations from my body. There was this big, obvious disconnect.

It felt like my body had gone dark, and my mind was behind the wheel. In an attempt to reconnect, I began seeing a holistic therapist, practicing mindfulness and came to the conclusion that I needed to eliminate most carbs from my diet.

I did briefly hop onto the ketogenic fad train, but ultimately decided the best diet for my ADHD management was some mix between keto and paleo. Over that year, I lost 50 pounds.

And then I lost my job in a company-wide downsizing. My diet changed again, for the worst. I gained weight that I’m still trying to lose. But more to my detriment, I triggered my ADHD and derailed my wellness journey. I’m still working on getting back on track.

I know the answer for me is being mindful. That means being thoughtful about all decisions including food and drink, but it’s also so much more than that. It’s connecting my brain to my body, and tapping into the awesome person that I am.

The Total Package

Over the course of a life that has lead me from skinny to fat, to mindful, to falling back on old ways, I learned something important:

I am better because I am fat.

There. I said it.

This certainly isn’t true for everyone. There are plenty of skinny, self aware people walking around the planet earth. But I was not one of them.

When I was thin, I was unhappy with myself. Gaining weight, I was challenged to learn how to love my body in a way that I never could before.

I appreciate what my body has done for me: the birth of my child, the vessel that gets out of bed each day because I tell it to, the hands that tapped out this blog.

But along the journey to finding my best self, I had to learn to overcome prejudice. And, when I turned that corner, what I found is that some people resent my happiness because I’m fat.

The thing is, that’s their problem — not mine.

They resent me because they fear what I am. They fear being fat or otherwise losing their youthfulness. But at 35 years old, I know youthfulness doesn’t stick around forever and being confident means appreciating yourself at every stage, be it thin 18, fat 35 or frail 90.

No one can take that away from me. So what if they stare when I dominate the dance floor? Let them stare, maybe they’ll learn something.

I’m the “fat friend” and I’ve never been happier.

*******************************

Susan is a writer, contributor and content marketer who publishes her own blog, Marketing and Murder <http://www.marketingandmurder.com>. Susan’s greatest successes include a fruitful 10+ year career in marketing and outside sales, as well as a master’s degree in human services, marriage and family therapy. But her happiest role is just being Mom to her young daughter. This piece discusses the obesity, confidence and self-love.

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